Sunday, September 2, 2018

Goodbye Shangrila

Last Thursday, August 23rd, I went to meet my mentor and "big sister" Mel at Shangrila.  That's where we usually met to hang out and talk, as Mel liked the food there, and the Happy Hour was a particularly good deal.

Before I arrived for our usual 4 pm meeting, she texted me that she was going to the nearby McKenzies instead.  Shangrila was closed.  I agreed to meet her at McK instead.  First, I stopped at Shangrila ("Shangies" as it was affectionately nicknamed by the local transcommunity of a "certain age."    I wanted to see the note on the door myself.  I took a picture.


So, Shangies is gone.  Another one bites the dust, right?  But Shangies holds a special place in my heart.  You see, Shangies was where I first went to Angela's Laptop Lounge on that first December night in 2013 when I went to discover who and what I truly was.

I wrote about this LONG ago (obviously.)

What made Shangies that much more... dangerous... was that I worked RIGHT next door.  The bookstore overlooked it as the next store up the hill.  Fortunately, only one window opened to that side of the building, and that was in the children's department.  Back then, I drove an easily identifiable car- a Honda Del Sol.  I parked it away from the street so as not to be spotted those early days.  When my del Sol finally died, I bought a much less identifiable car so I could blend in just a little more.


Map:  Google maps

I needn't have worried- the people I worked with at the time weren't looking for me there, especially dressed as a woman.  Essentially I was invisible to them.  (I actually proved that on the night I "re-emerged."  I went into the store, and while they KNEW I was a crossdresser, they didn't realize it was me until I said something.)

And so it was that Shangies became a special place for me.  Once a month, Sophie would re-emerge, go to the Renaissance meeting, then converge at high speed upon this place.  It was crowded- the bar area isn't very big- but it was there that I began making connections with the local Trans community.  I made some of my dearest friends there- like Jen Lehman, Jen Jensen, Katie Ward, Charlotte Sometime, Kristyn King, Angela Gardner (who runs the event) and so many more.   I would do my 10 o'clock check in with Wife while I stood outside the front doors.  Supposedly, I was playing D&D. I hated lying.


With Jen Lehman during my "blonde phase."  August 2009.

Occasionally at work, I'd have to go into the children's department, and, if no staff were there, I'd look out that back window at Shangies, wistfully counting the days until I could be Sophie once again.

The worst part was that I was having SO much fun, and meeting so many great people... but I couldn't talk to anyone about it.  I couldn't share my experiences with Wife or my "Lance friends" as none of them knew... and wouldn't understand.  (I lost over 90% of those "friends" when I transitioned as they didn't want to know from me anymore.)

After several years, the Laptop Lounge moved.  There were complaints about unfair, sliding drink prices depending upon the bartender.  Whispers of management disparaging us.  Laptop has gone to several other places since (as of this writing, it happens at 30 Main in Berwyn, PA.) 


With Jen Jensen and an orb, January 2010

Eventually, Mel and I started meeting there just to talk and drink.  Mel is a sushi connoisseur, and said that Shangies had the best in the area.  I don't eat seafood, so I wouldn't know.  When I was thrown out five years ago, I took those who helped me move to dinner at Shangies.  Last Christmas, Linda and I had Christmas dinner there.  My very dear friend Victoria had Affirmation party there as well in April 2014. 


Affirmation party set up, April 2014

And now it is gone. 

It has joined my already crowded memory of places and times passed, and the dear friends who passed as well.

I normally don't wax nostalgic about restaurants closing.  I really miss Blue Pacific (another place that hosted the Lounge for a time) and sort of miss some of the Penn State bars and restaurants that have closed since I graduated.  Time passes, stuff happens.  However Shangies will always hold a special place in my heart.

It was the place where Sophie truly began.

Zàijiàn, Shangrila. 


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