As those who read this blog know, I hide my female side from my wife and pretty much my whole male world. That's called "stealth" I guess. I try to make many pains to make sure my Sophie things are well hidden and that I have cover stories, etc.
So what do I do?
When I'm out I take tons of pictures. Even worse- I POST these pictures here, and on flickr, and Pink Essence, etc.
Devil with a blue dress on
Not exactly smart, right? I am creating an electronic trail that leads directly to my cleavage.
Now, I know that someone who sees these pics wouldn't identify me even if they know me. I really look different as Sophie. (And thats the point isn't it?) But still not only do I tempt fate...
I am upset if people AREN'T looking!
The chart above is from Flickr, and is literally from the second before I typed the last sentence. On flickr, I have 1,322 pictures on 74 pages going back to December 3, 2008. I average 1000 views a day. That's 1000 people looking at my pictures a day. And if I get below 1000, I feel a little upset- like I'm not worth seeing.
Not exactly stealth. More like screaming "LOOK AT ME!" So what happens if one of these sites is discovered? Well, I'm sunk. Done. History. So why keep doing it?
Now, many crossdressers, transpeople, etc, love to take pics of themselves. Obviously I do too. Why do I do it? Well, to remind myself of the good times of course, but also to critique my look. What did I do wrong? What did I do right? And I put these on flickr because...
I love the views and comments. That makes me feel femininely attractive. Beautiful. Hot.
From Laptop, June 18, 2011
How neurotic can I be? How shallow?
But if I'm taking all that time (and spending all that money) to make myself beautiful, I want to feel it. I feel it when dressed (usually) and I want validation as well.
I know I'm not the hottest tgurl out there. I still see a guy in a dress in the mirror (usually.) But encouraging comments make me feel like I AM on the right track. That I CAN be attractive.
And doesn't every girl want that?
So I keep on going. I add pics after almost every time I go out. And someday I will get caught. And I have no doubt that when I'm caught, it'll be because of my own stupidity.
But I'll be doing my best to look my best when that happens! :)