Occasionally, I try to do an entry about how my mind works. If it comes off as bragging, so be it. It's not intended that way. Be patient with me on this, as it's kind of a quirk thing.
Remember, I grew ups in the 1970's and 80's. A popular fashion trend back then was tube tops. Some people hated them. I understand why- they don't look good on everyone. Remember, braless was very in style back in the 70s.
To my young mind which craved femininity, the tube top was the absolute epitome of female garments. They showed that the wearer had breasts and left nothing to the imagination- shape, size- proudly shown off. No straps- the only thing holding up the top was the boobs.
Hey, I was around 10 years old! Work with me! Back then, I thought the physical difference between boys and girls was that girls didn't have penises and they grew breasts! (Why that happened or their purpose, I had no idea.)
Tube tops fell out of fashion in the late 70s, but made a brief comeback in the mid-80s. My college girlfriend had a couple of them, and they showed off her C cups beautifully. When she wore the tube tops, she got a LOT of male attention.
Guys are really stupid when it comes to boobs. I know- I speak fluent guy.
Fast forward many years. In December 2012, I started HRT. Due to an absolutely lucky genetic draw, I started "blossoming" quickly. Within six months, I had C cups, and they were getting very hard to hide. I wore compression shirts under oversized polo shirts to work and at home. I even wore them to bed, which Wife noticed as I used to sleep shirtless. (Obviously she knew why.)
Fast forward again. I've been out over four years now, and I have natural DD cups. As I said, I'm VERY lucky and I know it, when it comes to the boob fairy. I figured I'd look up tube tops just for s's & g's. I figured I could wear one around the apartment. They were available, but none near my size. Story of my life.
Then a few months back, I was browsing an online catalog for sun dresses and saw one that... wait is that... yes! It's a dress with a tube top! At the time, I had the money, so I bought it.
And so it was that I got my red sundress with a tube top. I LOVE this dress. At first I wore it with a strapless bra because, you know, propriety. Then I noticed something. Going braless seemed to be a thing again. So, with this one dress, I stopped wearing a bra. After all, it was a tube top and I had the means of holding it up.
It's a very small and peculiar dream, but it was one I had growing up, knowing so desperately that I was really a girl. Forty some years later, I am the Woman I wished I were. (Well, almost.) And I have my tube top.
Be well.
Remember, I grew ups in the 1970's and 80's. A popular fashion trend back then was tube tops. Some people hated them. I understand why- they don't look good on everyone. Remember, braless was very in style back in the 70s.
Pic from the 70s
Current web store pic
To my young mind which craved femininity, the tube top was the absolute epitome of female garments. They showed that the wearer had breasts and left nothing to the imagination- shape, size- proudly shown off. No straps- the only thing holding up the top was the boobs.
Hey, I was around 10 years old! Work with me! Back then, I thought the physical difference between boys and girls was that girls didn't have penises and they grew breasts! (Why that happened or their purpose, I had no idea.)
Me at 10. 5th grade
Tube tops fell out of fashion in the late 70s, but made a brief comeback in the mid-80s. My college girlfriend had a couple of them, and they showed off her C cups beautifully. When she wore the tube tops, she got a LOT of male attention.
Guys are really stupid when it comes to boobs. I know- I speak fluent guy.
Fast forward many years. In December 2012, I started HRT. Due to an absolutely lucky genetic draw, I started "blossoming" quickly. Within six months, I had C cups, and they were getting very hard to hide. I wore compression shirts under oversized polo shirts to work and at home. I even wore them to bed, which Wife noticed as I used to sleep shirtless. (Obviously she knew why.)
Fast forward again. I've been out over four years now, and I have natural DD cups. As I said, I'm VERY lucky and I know it, when it comes to the boob fairy. I figured I'd look up tube tops just for s's & g's. I figured I could wear one around the apartment. They were available, but none near my size. Story of my life.
Then a few months back, I was browsing an online catalog for sun dresses and saw one that... wait is that... yes! It's a dress with a tube top! At the time, I had the money, so I bought it.
And so it was that I got my red sundress with a tube top. I LOVE this dress. At first I wore it with a strapless bra because, you know, propriety. Then I noticed something. Going braless seemed to be a thing again. So, with this one dress, I stopped wearing a bra. After all, it was a tube top and I had the means of holding it up.
Wearing the red tube top dress yesterday: no makeup. no bra. The straps are superfluous
It's a very small and peculiar dream, but it was one I had growing up, knowing so desperately that I was really a girl. Forty some years later, I am the Woman I wished I were. (Well, almost.) And I have my tube top.
Be well.
Cute pic! Always great to fulfill a dream, no matter its size. :D
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Cass
You look great! I started HRT a few months ago and one of the big things I'm looking forward to is wearing dresses and tops that require one to have natural boobs where if you are wearing breastforms it would just be too obvious and ruin the allure.
ReplyDeleteGreat article!
Sophie -
ReplyDelete"Well, Almost." --- It's good enough for most non-romantic purposes.
I've found that there two key parts of being a woman. First is the physical. And that's where severe dysphoria comes in for trans folk. Second is social. And this is the other, less discussed part of being trans. Have you found yourself being accepted more by cisgender women, now that you're living as a woman, and not faking being a male? I've found that as cisgender women get to know me, they let down their guard a lot of times and treat me as if I were born female.
M
Sophie:
ReplyDeleteI don't know how to print this in green to express my GREEN WITH ENVY feelings. I've always wished to have the natural breasts to make fashion and styles like that POP when I wear them. I can get by with fake boobs and Holister's, but as you now know, it isn't the same. ENJOY your new fashion freedom.
BTW, the photo w/ no makeup and tube top is great because you look great!!
Best, Rhonda
Hi Marian, in general I've found myself accepted pretty well by cisgendered women. More so than, say, cisgendered males. That's why, again, in general (there are always exceptions) I prefer female medical professionals, for example.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of cisgendered males, when it comes to transwomen, in many cases there seems to be an unconscious thing going on in their heads: "What was wrong with being on our team? Why don't you want to be one of us anymore?"
I've noticed that cisgendered women are, again, generally, more careful with their pronouns, etc.
I had a female doctor who was wonderful anyway, and we got to talking about it, and she began telling me how brave I was for living as a woman. I almost started to cry (good cry). It meant a lot to me.
I had to go to the hospital for that same doctor to perform a procedure on me. Her staff (who were equally as supportive) made sure I was signed in under my female name so that little plastic bracelet they make you wear would read "Janet" and nothing else.
But all this is just my experience.