Halloween Costumes over Time

I started this entry a couple weeks ago.  However the meat of it I made into a TG Forum column.  Read that HERE.

However, since I had all the pictures together, here they are anyway.


2007: I was Clark Kent.  Wife was Lois Lane.

This looks like a job for...

2008:  The next year, as I've written zillions of times, I was Lois Lane while Wife was Clark Kent.

Just after the makeup was finished

2009:  I wanted to do the Woman thing right.  By then, I'd had almost a year of practice, and more "crossdressing" supplies, like hip pads, breast prosthetic, corset...  I won the costume contest in a landslide.

"Monique"  Makeup by Amanda Richards

I also attended the Henri David Ball for the first time, in a costume made by the incredible Lorraine Anderson.

Saving Snap, Crackle, and Pop.  Makeup by Amanda Richards

2010: In another Lorraine Anderson creation, I was a St Pauli Girl at the Henri David Ball.

Anyone want anything?  Makeup by Amanda Richards

But for my coworkers and friends, I was God's Gift to women.  I needed to "throw off suspicion."

I'm too sexy for my wrap.

2011:  Lorraine made me an "Evil Queen" gown.  It wasn't quite ready for the Laptop Halloween party, but it WAS ready for Beauty at the Beach.

Makeup by Amanda Richards

For the friends' Halloween party, I debuted Mary Marvel.  They would see this several times.

Makeup by Amanda Richards

2012: This one I bought online, but Lorraine modified it extensively.  I wore it to all parties, and it's one of my faves.  At one party, someone asked if I was transitioning.  2 months later, I would be on HRT.

Vamping at the Henri David Ball.  Makeup by Amanda Richards

2013:  A pure Lorraine creation- a Flamenco Dancer!  This one was so much fun to wear!  And, for the first time, those are my real breasts filling out the costume instead of forms.

Flamenco!  I did my own makeup

For the friends' party, I wore Mary Marvel again.  By this point, I'd told several close friends about my Truth.  One person who DIDN'T know had a tradition of squeezing my fake boobs really hard every year.  And she did it again- but they weren't fake.  OWWWW!  (After I came out to her, she apologized.)

2014:  I went to Baltimore to hang out with my friends there.  Once again, Mary Marvel.

With that Webbed Menace

However, this picture was more interesting.  Here we see Sandy Empanada and Ashley Jane Morgan, standing at the same place where, 2 years before, Ashley and Lisa Empanada stood for a picture.  There was no smoke, no strobe lights, no nothing.  Yet this streak appeared...

For my friends' Halloween party, I had no idea what to do.  After all, I was out and living as a woman full time, and didn't want to wear something old.  So I tossed this together.  I called it "Genderf**k."  It was half my old suit along with a leather miniskirt and pumps.  Not my best effort.

In 2015, I resurrected the Vampiress.  (get it?)  This time, I wore no fake breasts.  All me.  And I was happy.

So now it's 2016.  I've been out as a Woman for Eight years.  It's been eight years since that fateful night- the night that destroyed the life and lie I'd been living.  That tore apart my Wife's world.  I no longer wear any padding, but I still occasionally wear a corset.

Live Long and Prosper: 2016

So, on a whim, as the sun began to set on Halloween, I decided to dig out the outfit I wore that first night.  The shoes, earrings, and wig are long gone.  I couldn't find the belt.  But the top, skirt, bra and necklace- I still had those.  And so I put them on, and my roomie and bestie Linda was kind enough to take some pictures.

I've come a long way.

I tend to focus on everything I've lost over the eight years.  However, what I've gained is VERY significant as well.  I've gained a Community that Understands me.  We are diverse, but we all have the same challenges.  I have made some of the best friends I have ever had.  I have accepted my Truth and had the courage to live it.  I have had many gains, and yes, some horrific losses.

It's Halloween, and it's been Eight years.  What will the next year bring?  Will I live to see year nine?  Where will I be?  So many things can happen.

But, for tonight, I raise a glass to all those who have helped me to where I am today.  Thank you all!

Be well!

Orbs

I'm going to go in a different direction this time. 

In the two plus years I've written this blog, I've revealed many things about myself that others may think "embarrassing."

I've revealed THIS and THIS.

Oh, and don't tell anybody, but... (whispering)  I'm TRANSGENDERED!    *horrors*

Humiliating!

In any case, I reveal things about myself here.  Is it therapeutic?  Yes, a bit.  Does it help me organize my thoughts?  Maybe.  In any case, I feel a this blog SHOULD be about my thoughts, hopes, fears, opinions, beliefs, etc.

We all have different beliefs, some of which can't really be substantiated.  We believe things that others think silly.  It's part of what makes us human.

Here's some examples:

• Believing "Trickle down" economics works despite overwhelming and catastrophic evidence to the contrary.  Corollary:  That global warming DOESN'T exist.
• Believing that a person is inferior due to skin color, country/area of origin, gender, sexual preference, and/or religious or political beliefs.
• Any Religion.  Yes, someone thinks yours is silly and/or wrong, trust me. 
• That doing some personal ritual will influence the outcome of a sporting event/activity miles away.

You get the idea, I hope.

So.  Why do I bring this up?  Because I want to write about another "strange" belief of mine.

I believe in Ghosts.

Yes, really. 

*watches subscriber count drop faster than congress' approval ratings*

Stick with me on this one folks (especially Mel.)

I've always believed in Ghosts.  I don't know why I thought the house I grew up in was haunted, but I felt that it was.  It was an old house; built in 1845.  My fraternity house was haunted, but I'll get back to that.  I know many people who say their homes are haunted, etc.

Ghosts are kind of in fashion now.  In fact, my alma mater has a Ghost Hunting group with its own TV show!  There are thousands of ghost hunting groups across the US, and don't get me started with UK and the "Old World" or Japan!

Being me, I read books on the topic.  One of my favorites is an old book documenting "all known" ghosts in the UK.  Another is a book on the Borley Rectory.

So, how did I know my fraternity house was haunted?  Stories passed down by older brothers for one.  Also, one night a brother's girlfriend, who claimed to be psychic, claimed to be "trapped by spirits" in a second floor hallway.  Two BIG guys pulled hard on her arms, but it was like she held in place by an invisible wall.  She was very scared.  I was there.  I saw it.

A year after that, before dawn on a Sunday, I awoke to see someone floating directly above me by a foot.  My bed was in a loft, with maybe three feet of clearance between the bed and the ceiling.  I saw his face clearly, the rest of him was transparent and a bit "wispy."  He was in his early 20s, with sandy blond hair in an old style, and a moustache of the same color.  I couldn't tell what color his eyes were, despite the fact I could see them clearly.  I wasn't scared at all, in fact I felt at peace.  I knew that I had nothing to fear; that this person was just looking me over; "checking me out."  He smiled and disappeared.

For the record, that night there was a party and I was quite drunk.  So it may have been a hallucination or a dream.  It didn't feel like one though, and I remember it clearly.  As my fraternity brothers didn't really like me much already (I was a transfer student), I told no one.

A few days later, my girlfriend of the time stayed over.  She always claimed to be able to see ghosts.  We were studying in my room, when she stood and walked out the door.  I figured she had to use the ladies room.  She walked down the hallway a bit, and came back a couple of minutes later.  When she returned she sat on the couch next to me and said "Do you know this house is haunted?"

"What makes you say that?" I said.

"There are three ghosts.  Two are women and the other is a brother."  She went on to describe him and her description sounded exactly like what I saw.  She also said the women "are jealous and don't like girls in the house." 

I did research and found that a brother had been hit by a car and killed in front of the house back in the early 1930s.  The only picture I found of brothers of that time had someone in it who looked like the person I saw. Creepy.  I still have no idea who the women are, as the house was built on what was an open space in 1929, and I couldn't find anything about any women dying in the house.

To this day, I've told none of my Brothers that story.

Oh, and that girl "stuck" in the hallway?  Five feet from my door that semester.

I also saw poltergeist activity in Runkle Hall: a bed "breathing."  I was among maybe ten people watching after an RA finally opened her locked door.  I was visiting her neighbor, whom I used to date for a little bit while I was in school. That was freaky.  This was 1992.

Why do I drag this particular Skeleton out of the closet, so to speak?

Several reasons, but I think really it's because lately I've been noticing lots of Orbs in the pictures I (and others) take at TG events.

What's an Orb?  According to the link to the left:

"Orbs are believed (by many) to be ghosts in the form of balls of light. They are life forms that travel in groups and are believed to be the human soul or life force of those that once inhabited a physical body here on earth."

Are they really?  Well, maybe.  Let's look at just a couple of pictures.

ShangriLa, Jan 19, 2013   Photo Courtesy Angela's Laptop Lounge

Raven, January 12, 2013

See the orbs?

Was any photoshopping done on these pics?  Well, I can only speak for mine.  Yes, there was on mine.  My nipple was showing so I erased it.  But that's all.  I don't have enough photoshop  know-how to do orbs... yet.  ;)  And obviously, I photoshopped the yellow rings. 

Just for reference, here's a pic from Raven taken a few seconds after the picture above.

Smile!  :)

No orbs.

By now you're either saying "Wow!  This is cool!" or "This chick is nuts."  Or not.

So, assuming these orbs aren't dust, etc, why would they appear in pics of TG girls? 

I have no concrete scientific answer.  Just like I have no answer as to "Does God exist?"

But the romantic in me says this;  I've read many places that spirits that remain, stay for many reasons.  Some stay due to lives unlived or incomplete.  Others remain in places that brought them happiness in life. 

Who, if not the transgendered, live lives that can end "incomplete?"  Who, if not us, find comfort in the company of our Sisters? 

So the romantic in me says that these are the Spirits of our Sisters who find comfort and joy in our celebrations and company.  (or, in the case of the Raven, perhaps alternate lifestyle individuals for whom the Raven was a haven.)

I have no proof in this, as I said.  But something inside me derives some solace in that.

Ghost at Devil's Den, Gettysburg, PA.  http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/ghastlyghostgallery/ghosts/gettysburg.htm

We as people are ALL haunted by Ghosts: Ghosts of our pasts; of those we loved and lost; of deeds and misdeeds; of what Could or Should have been.  We all acquire ghosts in our lives.  For some, the ghosts overwhelm us.  Others are able to rise above them.  Our ghosts give us wisdom and can give us strength. 

Ghosts mean that Life isn't absolutely finite- that we exist beyond our physical time on this planet.  They allow for the possibility of Heaven and an afterlife of some form.  We as people are Mortal- we die.  That's a fact.  But the idea that our spirit could live on? 

One can hope.

And being trans is ALL about Hope.