Sunday, November 1, 2015

Seven Sophie Years: Filling

As I type this, it's Halloween night, 2015.

It's chilly and a bit cloudy here in southeast Pennsylvania.  I started my day with Wife and Daughter, trick or treating at the King of Prussia mall.  We were joined by one of my daughter's friends and her mother, both of whom are very nice.  This was that mom's first time hearing about me and meeting me as Sophie.  She took it in stride.

Seven years ago was the night I re-emerged from over twenty years of repressing my true self.  I've told this story many times.  That night, Wife and I attended a party held by my dear friend Dawn.  Afterwards, I went to the Bookstore where I work, and surprised many people.  Then I went out with several coworkers to a bar called Fox and Hound.

Halloween 2008 with my friend David.  He looks VERY uncomfortable

The gender dysphoria stormed back into my conscious life, and, well, the rest is history.  Now, I'm sitting here at the computer, typing a blog.  I have been full time as a woman for over a year and a half, and on HRT for nearly three years.

Halloween 2015. David looks far more at ease

I've analyzed almost every aspect of that night over the years, either in this blog, or the one that preceded it.

However, there is one detail I have never discussed.  The week before Halloween 2008, I went shopping with my dear friend Elizabeth.  We bought my outfit at Lane Bryant; including the lingerie.  The bra was a 44D- purple with black lace trim.  Yes, I was much heavier then.  As I mentioned before, I filled it with birdseed filled pantyhose feet.  That was a LOT of birdseed to fill those D cups!

The bra in question

Birdseed Boobs

A few days later, I gave the birdseed boobs to my dear friend M, who used them to feed birds I guess. I put the bra in the box in the basement, where it was eventually joined by other feminine clothing over the years.  I continued to buy D cup bras, as I bought forms to fit them.  I had a vision of how I wanted to look as a woman, and that included big breasts.

The rest of my outfit from that night?  Well, the panties, cheap corset, cheap wig, Spanx, and the sweater are all long gone now.  I still have the skirt, belt, and the cheap shoes.  And the Bra.

When I went on HRT and my breasts grew enough that I could stop wearing forms, I put all my D cup bras into a box, and put that box in my storage space.  After all, I didn't think I'd ever need them again.  I couldn't be that lucky.

However, genetics had a different opinion.

Over the years, my breasts have grown.  I am now a D cup.  A couple of weeks ago, my roomie Linda and I went to my storage space to pick out a Halloween costume for this year.  One of the other things I brought back to the apartment was the box of D cup bras.  I was curious if they would fit.

I've been trying them on when I can.  A couple dry rotted and ripped.  However, there was one I didn't try on- the one from that Halloween.  I hadn't worn it since February 2009 (the last time I wore that outfit.)  A couple of nights ago, I tried it on... and it fit!  The band was a bit big (being a 44) but aside from that, my breasts filled the cups!  I was so very excited!

Yes, little things like that make me happy!

February 2009.  Makeup by Amanda Richards of True Colors Makeup Artistry

I had to work Halloween night this year. I decided that as a way to mark my "rebirth day," I'd wear that purple bra.  And so I did.  All day and night.  And let me say this- it isn't the most comfortable bra I've ever worn!  But, knowing I was wearing it made me smile several times during my shift.

Halloween 2015: Dressed for work

So here I sit, seven years after that fateful night.  So much has changed.  I am a completely different person.  What will the next year bring?  Heck, what will the next MONTH bring?  I the next couple of weeks, I will be attending my Fraternity's 125th anniversary at Penn State, and I will be speaking at a University about Transgender issues, Both are major milestones and hurdles for we to overcome.  Of course, I'll keep you, the reader, informed as to what happens!

Maybe I'll write about the events of last night, when I went to two parties.  Maybe I won't.  In any case, it's been a memorable holiday.  It brings to mind something a certain doctor once said, which applies to us all.

"Don't dream it: Be it."

Be well.

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