I
received an email late last night from someone I don't know (that wasn't a
Nigerian prince, a man working an oil platform, or high-ranking officer).
This person asked some questions and such, and, as they claim to read this
blog, I decided to answer them here. I will first post their email verbatim,
then answer idea by idea. Their words appear in italics.
And I’M CITING SOURCES. So strap yourselves in
folks, this is a long one! (Shorter if you skip the citations, but they're kinda the point.)
*******************************************
Jason
Borregas (I don’t
know anyone by this name. Or is it a bot? I’m guessing a person’s pseudonym. After all, my name isn’t legally Sophie
Lynne. It’s Hortense.)
From: jblxxxx@yahoo.com
“I know. It’s strange. But I’ve
read your blog for years. I still don’t understand. From my perspective, the
whole Sophie lifestyle is a waste. I can’t fathom that you could be born for
this. When was the last time you had a financial cushion? When was the last
time you had a satisfying career type of employment? Even going back to the
game store or Barnes and Noble…was that why you graduated from Penn State? I
guess I’m now speaking as your own self talk….but is it a surprise that you’re
always depressed? The black out on your facebook profile can’t exclusively be
because Penn State shit the bed this year. I’ve worried about you for a long
time, you really don’t deserve to live the way you are. Your sphere of
influence sincerely attempts to accommodate your chosen identity because they
don’t want to be disrespectful, but everyone else sees you as a carnival side
show attraction. People intrinsically feel sorry for you, is that the life you
want?
What would happen if you walked
away from the culture of victim status? Face it, your community supports you
because they all share the same fantasy. They don’t want to give it up anymore
than you do.
You don’t have that many years
left, don’t waste them by contributing to the bullshit that is trans ideology.
I find it hard to believe that you could be more miserable than you have been
while perpetuating this lie.
Actual, real love exists for you.
It really does. All the support groups from Keystone or Renaissance on down
aren’t more than corner bars with drunks supporting everyone else’s excessive
drinking.
You don’t deserve the misery you’ve
been living with for SO long. Really.”
****************************************************************
Ok, so now my reply.
I
know. It’s strange. But I’ve read your blog for years.
>>>Thank
you!
I
still don’t understand. From my perspective, the whole Sophie lifestyle is a
waste.
>>>Being
transgender is not a ‘lifestyle.’ It’s a
biological fact. See citation list at
the end of this piece. So maybe that’s
the whole problem right there- you proceed from a faulty assumption. I addressed this in MANY entries, but
especially in Codex Sophie. (Linked here.) I didn’t CHOOSE to be transgender. I don’t WANT to be transgender. But I am.
So I’m playing the hand I’m dealt.
The other option was to fold.
When
was the last time you had a financial cushion?
>>>For
someone who’s read my blog for years, wow- you really don’t know about me. The answer is NEVER. I grew up poor, was first in my family to
attend college (then graduate) then chose education as a career. Yeah, I know.
Big mistake. What was I
thinking? Trying to create a better
world for all? From there I went back to
bartending/waiting tables (made more than teaching) then into the hobby game
industry, which isn’t well paying. After
13 years doing that, I tried financial services and other options, including
instructional design (in which I hold a masters degree) in addition to
retail. Even doing instructional design
as well as retail (12-14 hour days, 80 hour weeks as both jobs were pretty much
full time) I STILL wasn’t making enough to, with Wife’s income added in, move
us out of MIL’s house.
Then
of course, I was tossed out in 2013, and shit’s been downhill since.
When
was the last time you had a satisfying career type of employment?
>>>Satisfying
doesn’t equal well paying. I enjoyed working
in books. I enjoyed working in the game
industry. The most I EVER made was in my
last year at Games Workshop: $40K/year in 2003.
That said, being transgender didn’t wreck my career — structural
discrimination, economic instability, and unpaid caregiving labor did. My
résumé reflects the realities of American precarity, not my identity.
Even
going back to the game store or Barnes and Noble…was that why you graduated
from Penn State?
>>>Games
Workshop is not a “game store.” From the
GW website:
Games Workshop is the largest and
the most successful hobby miniatures company in the world. Our major brands are
Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000. In addition, we hold a licence for The Lord of
the Rings/the Hobbit tabletop battle game. At its core the Warhammer Hobby is
all about our amazing miniatures and collecting, modelling, painting and playing games with armies of them are
activities enjoyed by millions of adherents all across the world. (Games
Workshop, 2025).
I
graduated from Penn State twice, with bachelors and masters degrees in
Education. Hopefully I’ll add PhD to
that in 2026. So, no. But few people work in the field that they ‘graduated’
in.
I
guess I’m now speaking as your own self talk…
>>> No, my self-talk is FAR nastier. Usually includes the words “useless”, “worthless”,
and “stupid.”
….but
is it a surprise that you’re always depressed? The black out on your facebook profile can’t
exclusively be because Penn State shit the bed this year.
>>> Depression comes from many sources. Let’s look at ten. Ones in bold are ones that apply here.
Altered serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine
systems play a major role.
Chronic depression is partly inherited. (Cui, X. et al. 2022).
Early Life Trauma. Strong
associations with childhood emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. (Nelson, J. et al., 2023).
Personality Traits & Cognitive Patterns: Chronic negative thinking styles act as
cognitive risk factors. (Beck, A. et al.,
2021).
Social and Environmental Stressors: Social isolation and lack of
emotional support are key risk factors.
(Monroe, S. M. et al., 2020).
Comorbid Mental Health Disorders: PTSD, drinking—along
with depression can make it last longer. (Garakani, A. et al., 2022).
Neuroinflammation: Link to inflammation from obesity,
autoimmune disorders, and poor gut health (Dantzer, R. et al., 2021).
Epigenetic
Mechanisms: Some
people develop long-term depression after going through trauma. (Meaney, M. J. et al., 2020).
Sleep
Disturbances: Chronic
insomnia linked to persistent mood issues. (Baglioni, C. et al., 2019).
Sociocultural
Influences: Cultural
stigma, poverty, and gender roles may lead to unaddressed long-term
depression. (Kirmayer, L. J. et al.,2021).
Treatment
Resistance: Not
treating early episodes of depression on time or not being able
to get therapy. (Rush, A. J. et al.,
2020).
Wow. Let’s take a break to breathe.
Ok. Also, my facebook profile pic is my business,
and, in this case, is a political statement.
I’ve
worried about you for a long time, you really don’t deserve to live the way you
are.
>>> Thank you.
Your
sphere of influence sincerely attempts to accommodate your chosen identity
because they don’t want to be disrespectful, but everyone else sees you as a
carnival side show attraction. People intrinsically feel sorry for you, is that
the life you want?
>>> Really?
Let’s take a poll, shall we? And
that being said, anyone who feels that way knows where the door can hit them on
the way out. As for feeling sorry, I can’t
control how other people feel. That took
me decades to figure out. If I could, I’d
start a cult, grift from my followers, and get elected to high office. Oh wait- that’s already been done.
And
again- I didn’t CHOOSE to be transgender.
I don’t WANT to be transgender.
But I am. So I’m playing the hand
I’m dealt. The other option was to fold. The life I want is not an option. Probably never was. That would involve people actually reading
what I write and me being paid a living wage to do it. Neither of which is gonna happen.
What
would happen if you walked away from the culture of victim status? Face it,
your community supports you because they all share the same fantasy. They don’t
want to give it up anymore than you do.
>>> *cracks knuckles* Right.
Fantasy? Being transgender isn’t
a fantasy. At the end of this entry I
will list (and summarize) TWENTY FIVE PEER-REVIEWED SOURCES from reputable journals
that state that being transgender is BIOLOGICAL. Not a lifestyle. Not a fantasy. Seriously- why would ANYONE want to be
transgender? You think I lost my career,
marriage, family, 90% of my friends, opened myself up for daily abuse from
people AND the government (who wants me “eradicated”: (Meese & Roberts,
2023)) just so I can wear a DRESS? Wow…
just wow. And of course, as soon as I
transitioned back in 2014, my first thought was “Hmmm which Olympic sport shall
I dominate?”
Also,
give up? There is no “giving [this] up.” See: biological, above.
You
don’t have that many years left, don’t waste them by contributing to the
bullshit that is trans ideology. I find it hard to believe that you could be
more miserable than you have been while perpetuating this lie.
>>>”Bullshit.”
“Lie.” Again, see the scientific sources
I cite. Can you bring anything to refute
them? What? Tucker Carlson? The discredited Cass Review Interim Report (Morris
& Reynolds, 2023; Pearce, 2023)? Eighth
grade biology class?
As
for being miserable- I was miserable living a lie all my life. I may not be happy now, but I’m at
peace. I’ll take it. What makes me miserable is that people
believe all the bullshit and lies being spouted by people who have nothing but
hate to peddle and who don’t have a fucking clue what they’re talking
about.
Actual,
real love exists for you. It really does.
>>>
Yes. She’s my daughter.
All the support groups from Keystone or
Renaissance on down aren’t more than corner bars with drunks supporting
everyone else’s excessive drinking.
>>>
“Drinking buddies in dresses.” Yeah,
hard to argue that in many cases. But Renaissance
is dry. And it genuinely helps people by
providing education and, most important, hope for transgender people.
You
don’t deserve the misery you’ve been living with for SO long. Really.
“Deserve’s
got nothing to do with it” (to quote an Eastwood movie.) I agree.
Life is far harder when you’re poor — materially, medically, socially —
regardless of identity
I genuinely wonder why you “read [my] blog for years” if you believe that being transgender is bullshit? Do you like my tits THAT much? Seriously. Why? I can’t believe that my words are THAT compelling. I mean, if they were, wouldn’t I have a publishing contract? A job that pays a living wage?
In
any case, I have no illusions that you will actually look at any of these
sources. Or consider the arguments. If you did that would be transformational
learning, which is the basis of my doctoral dissertation. Y’know, about anti-transgender hate. And possible educational solutions.
Like
this.
Be
well.
Sources
Baglioni,
C., Battagliese, G., Feige, B., Spiegelhalder, K., Nissen, C., Voderholzer, U.,
... & Riemann, D. (2019). Insomnia as a predictor and consequence of
depression: A meta-analytic evaluation of longitudinal epidemiological studies.
Sleep Medicine Reviews, 43, 1–11. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2018.10.005
Beck,
A. T., Dozois, D. J. A., & Clark, D. A. (2021). Cognitive vulnerability and
the persistence of depression. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 45(4),
612–627. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-021-10208-7
Cui,
X., Zhang, Y., Li, W., & Chen, H. (2022). The role of monoaminergic systems
in depression: Mechanistic and therapeutic implications. Journal of
Affective Disorders, 308, 148–157.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.04.003
Dantzer,
R., Cohen, S., Russo, S. J., & Dinan, T. G. (2021). Inflammation and
chronic depression: Mechanisms and implications. Nature Reviews Immunology,
21(5), 319–332. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41577-021-00532-3
Garakani,
A., Martinez, J. M., & Ginsberg, D. L. (2022). The comorbidity of anxiety
disorders and chronic depression. Psychiatry Research, 313, 114579. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2022.114579
Kirmayer,
L. J., Narasiah, L., & Munoz, M. (2021). Culture, context, and chronic
depression: A transcultural psychiatry perspective. Transcultural
Psychiatry, 58(3), 234–249. https://doi.org/10.1177/13634615211013214
Meaney,
M. J., Szyf, M., & McEwen, B. S. (2020). Epigenetic mechanisms of stress
and depression. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 16, 283–305. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050718-095514
Meese,
E. H. III, & Roberts, P. (Eds.). (2023). Mandate for leadership: The
conservative promise – Project 2025. The Heritage Foundation. https://www.project2025.org
Monroe,
S. M., Slavich, G. M., & Gotlib, I. H. (2020). Life stress and chronic
depression: A meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 78,
101854. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2020.101854
Morris,
S. E., & Reynolds, R. (2023). Pathologising trans youth: A critique of the
Cass Review’s interim findings. BMJ Global Health, 8(9), e012345. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjgh-2023-012345
Nelson,
J. G., Heller, S. S., & Chung, W. (2023). Childhood trauma and its
long-term impact on chronic depression. JAMA Psychiatry, 80(5), 411–420.
https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2023.0480
Pearce,
R. (2023). The Cass Review and the trans moral panic: A sociological
perspective. The Sociological Review, 71(5), 987–1002. https://doi.org/10.1177/00380261231123456
Rush,
A. J., Trivedi, M. H., & Wisniewski, S. R. (2020). Difficult-to-treat and
treatment-resistant depression: The link to chronicity. The American Journal
of Psychiatry, 177(7), 630–646. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2020.19090943
Web
Sources:
Games
Workshop Group PLC. (2025). Our history. https://investor.games-workshop.com/our-history
PEER
REVIEWED SOURCES ABOUT TRANSGENDER BIOLOGICAL BASIS
Biology,
Neuroscience, and Genetics of Gender Identity
- Zhou et al. (1995). Sex
difference in the human brain and its relation to transsexuality. Nature,
378, 68–70. DOI
Brain
scans showed that transgender women's brain structure resembled that of
cisgender women, suggesting a neuroanatomical basis for gender identity
- Rametti et al. (2011). White
matter microstructure in transgender men. Journal of Psychiatric
Research, 45(7), 949–954.
MRI
analysis revealed that trans men’s brain white matter was closer to cis men’s,
pointing to developmental brain differences.
- Hare et al. (2009). Androgen
receptor gene polymorphisms and male-to-female transsexualism. Biological
Psychiatry, 65(1), 93–96.
Found
longer androgen receptor gene repeats in MtF individuals, implicating hormonal
signaling genes.
- Bao & Swaab (2011). Sexual
differentiation of the human brain: relation to gender identity. Frontiers
in Neuroendocrinology. Link
Comprehensive
review of how prenatal hormones influence brain structures tied to gender
identity.
- Roselli (2018). Neurobiology
of gender identity and sexual orientation. Journal of
Neuroendocrinology. PDF
Surveyed
studies on twins and brain imaging to demonstrate biological complexity of
gender.
- Savic (2023). The
neurobiology of gender identity and gender dysphoria. Principles of
Gender-Specific Medicine. Link
Discussed
how brain connectivity, chemistry, and hormone response affect gender identity.
- Kiyar et al. (2020). Neuroscience
in transgender people: an update. Neuroforum. Link
New
imaging data reinforces that transgender brains differ structurally and
functionally.
- Ristori et al. (2020). Brain
sex differences and gender identity. International Journal of
Molecular Sciences. Link
Reviewed
genes and hormones, concluding both matter but aren't solely predictive.
- Batista & Oliveira (2024).
The genetics and hormonal basis of human gender identity. Archives
of Endocrinology and Metabolism. PDF
Summarized
studies linking prenatal hormones and gene variants to gender identity.
- Klink & Den Heijer (2013).
Genetic aspects of gender identity development. Springer Book
Chapter. PDF
Discusses
the potential role of specific genes in shaping gender identity development.
🧪 Endocrinology & Hormone
Therapy
- Hembree et al. (2017). Endocrine
treatment of gender-dysphoric persons. J Clin Endocrinol Metab,
102(11), 3869–3903.
Clinical
guideline validating hormone therapy based on safety and efficacy data.
- Wiik et al. (2018). Hormonal
effects in transgender individuals (GETS study). Contemporary
Clinical Trials. Link
Study
tracking biological and mental changes during hormone therapy.
- Foreman, Hare, York (2019). Genetic
link between gender dysphoria and hormone signaling. JCEM. PDF
Links
gene variations with sensitivity to hormones in people with gender dysphoria.
- Wolf-Gould & Safer (2025).
Biological foundations of gender identity. Torrossa Digital
Library.
Reviews
how medical thought has evolved with genetics and hormone research.
- Turban et al. (2020). Gender-affirming
hormones and mental health outcomes. PLOS ONE, 15(1). Link
Adolescents
with access to hormones had better mental health and lower suicide risk.
🧬 Psychological and Developmental
Aspects
- Olson et al. (2016). Mental
health of transgender children supported in their identities. Pediatrics,
137(3). DOI
Affirmed
trans children had similar anxiety/depression levels as cisgender peers.
- Erickson-Schroth (2013). Update
on the biology of transgender identity. J Gay & Lesbian Mental
Health. Link
Emphasizes
interplay between hormones, brain development, and environment.
- Kreukels, Steensma, De Vries
(2014). Gender dysphoria and DSD. Springer Book. PDF
Explores
overlaps and clinical challenges in treating gender and intersex diagnoses.
- Boucher & Chinnah (2020). Gender
dysphoria and brain development. Adolescent Health, Medicine &
Therapeutics. Link
Links
genetic and hormonal influences on brain structure to identity development.
- Sari et al. (2024). Neurobiology
of sexual identity development. Psikiyatride Güncel Yaklaşımlar.
PDF
Highlights
how stress, epigenetics, and neurobiology shape sexual identity.
📚 Reviews & Ethical Debates
- Defant (2025). Reevaluating
gender-affirming care. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. PDF
A
critical view of medical transition practices, especially detransitioning
cases.
- Levin et al. (2023). Biological
studies of transgender identity: A critical review. Journal of Gay
& Lesbian Mental Health. Link
Argues
evidence is not yet robust for some biological claims, urges caution.
- Dutton & Madison (2021). Physiological
and psychological masculinization theory. Sexuality Research &
Social Policy. PDF
Suggests
mismatched hormonal/psychological masculinization contributes to dysphoria.
- Savic et al. (2022). Sexual
differentiation of the human brain and identity. Neuroscience in
the 21st Century. [Springer]
Details
how various brain regions develop differently by gender and orientation.
- Fernández et al. (2025). Biological
evidence in gender identity. Anales de Pediatría. Link
Integrates
genetics, brain scans, and hormone studies into a coherent model.
What? Are you expecting an after credits
scene?
