Men of the Skull Chapter 18: Lil' Sister Happies

I mentioned "little sisters" in an earlier chapter.  Skull had a Little Sister program, but it wasn't as active as the Crow little sisters.  They were like a sorority that didn't get to choose its own members (the brothers did that.)  Some of them were best friends, while others just flat out didn't get along.

Just like any organization, really.

That said, I know of no other Little Sister organization which held gatherings for themselves.  I still think that was cool.

This was the first time I'd heard anyone have a negative opinion of Skull, and, as the only Skull in attendance, I felt I had to defend my House. It was a bit of a helpless feeling, as I was taking heat for something I had nothing to do with, but that was a familiar feeling as well.  I'd been doing that my whole life.

Looking back now, all these years later, I remember how comfortable I felt there.  I was an intruder in this party in so many ways- wrong gender, wrong fraternity.  Yet I felt at ease.  Maybe it was my Inner Truth asserting itself a little.  I don't know.

I coached the Crow team the following fall.  They made it to the finals and lost- barely.  But it was fair.

Me, coaching the Crow Little Sisters at Chug Offs, Skullympics '87

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Chapter 18: Lil’ Sister Happies

Friday, October 24, 1986 Roofers Union Leaders, 2 Judges Indicted in U.S. Bribery Probe

            I was invited to an “exclusive” party by Judy and Virginia: “Lil’ Sister Happies.”  That was where all the little sisters of AXP would get together and drink, talk, and bond.  I think it was “attendance mandatory.”  Great idea on paper.  I wonder if their brothers realized what and who they talked about.  “Lil’ Sister Bitch session” would have been a far more accurate name.

            I didn’t know all that at the time.  All I knew was that I was going to be the only guy in a party full of women and that Judy wanted me there.  Good enough for me!

            The party was held in someone’s room in Cedarbrook Apartments, right next to Beaver Hill.  I wore nice pants and the purple and black plaid shirt that Julianne gave me.  I wanted to look as good as I could for the ladies.

            Judy and Virginia stopped at my place to “pick me up.”  Judy wore a blue sweater over an oxford while Virginia wore a nice navy and red outfit. 

            “Remember to be nice, Lance.  We will out number you there,” Virginia said.

            “When am I not the picture of manners and civility?”  I said.

            Both of them laughed.

            The room was dark when we arrived, lit only by a few candles and the streetlights outside through the windows.  The sisters were sitting and laying everywhere.  I think there were around twenty but from what I overheard not all of them showed.

From the Daily Collegian, Oct 24, 1986

            We were greeted at the door by Doreen.  She had shoulder length brown hair and she was heavy.  Chubby.  Her face was very round and she had small eyes spaced far apart and her lips pursed constantly.  She had an attitude as well:  “Tough girl.”  Yeah, no shit.  Fuck with her and she’d sit on you.  She dated one of the Crow brothers.

            There were several cases of beer and I was invited to help myself.  Some beer was on ice in the kitchen sink.  I grabbed four: Judy, Virginia, Doreen, and myself.

            I was next introduced to bleach blonde that looked like a biker chick: Mandy.  She wore leather, had hard black lined eyes, and the attitude.  She was a party girl, no doubt.  She was also Virginia’s best friend.  Mandy was barrel shaped with a nice enough chest very sneaky smile that said “you’re in trouble.”  I immediately liked her. 

            Terri was a hot little Pilipino girl.  She dated a brother and if you weren’t a Crow brother she wanted nothing to do with you.  She shot me nasty looks the entire time I knew her.

            Heidi was tall: maybe six foot with an incredible body and a sweet face.  She had auburn poofy hair that went below her shoulders.  She also dated a brother, damnit!  She seemed like the loving type who would be a good mom by day and a wildcat at night in bed.  She had a great smile too. 

No less than SIX Skulls were in Jack Harper's Sweater Crew that year 

            There were so many others but they don’t matter.  Well, not now.

            So I sat on the floor with Virginia, Mandy and Heidi.  Judy and Doreen went into the bedroom to talk about something privately. 

            “So, you’re a Skull?”  Mandy said.

            “Yes” I said.

            “You don’t look like an asshole!” she said, then laughed, as did several sisters.

            “Give him a chance, Mandy!  He’s an asshole!”  Virginia said.

            “Thanks for the support,” I said.

            “Sorry dear,” Virginia said, smiling.

            “If I’m such an ass, why am I here with all you beautiful ladies?”  I said.

            “Maybe so we can tear you limb from limb?”  Mandy said.

            “Or at least get you drunk, strip you and leave you on the Campus Loop,” Heidi said.

            “You guys fucked us over at your Skullympics, and our coach didn’t even stand up for us!” Mandy said.

            Skullympics is our house philanthropy.  I’ll fill in the details later.

            “I’m sorry.  Who was your coach?”  I said.

            “He was very tall with a crew cut and a big gut,” Heidi said. 

            “That sounds like Beef,” I said.

            “Yes!  That’s it!  Beef!”  Mandy said, throwing her hands in the air.

            “That’s a strange nickname,” Heidi said.

            “Oh like our guys don’t have strange names?  Like Snake?”  Virginia said.

            “Oh, he’s strange.  He’s reeeeealy strange,” Mandy said.

            Most of the sisters laughed.  Mandy had a brassy loud voice that carried.

            “Why do you call him Snake?”  I said.

            Many sisters laughed again.

            “You tell him, ‘Gin,” Mandy said. 

            “We call him that because he is a snake.  He hits on anything with breasts.  Once he starts hitting on a girl, he doesn’t leave her alone for the rest of the night,” Virginia said.

            “I think he’s laid more of the sisters than they’ll care to admit,” Mandy said.  Some looked away, others blushed.

            “You?”  I said.

            “No.  I’m a fucking virgin!” she said, then laughed.

            “Really?”

            “Yep.  I’m saving it for the right guy, not him,” she said.

            “That’s cool,” I said.

            “’Gin’s fucked him” Mandy said.

            “Lying bitch!”  Virginia said, sitting upright.

            Mandy laughed hard.

            “So what exactly did Skull do to piss you ladies off?”  I said.

            “Our opponents in the chug offs cheated and Beef didn’t stand up for us,” Doreen said, sitting down next to Mandy.  Judy went to another part of the room to talk to someone, but glanced over and smiled.

From the Daily Collegian, Oct 24, 1986  The BEST pizza at Penn State while I was there

            Chug-offs are kind of different at each school.  At Penn State they are also called canoe races.  You get four or five people per side of a table.  Each has a beer (sometimes two).  Starting at one end of the table, the person chugs.  When the person indicates they are done, usually by slamming the cup on the table or holding it upside down over their head, the next person goes.  It’s a chugging relay race.  It goes until the last person finishes.  Winner!  Now if people have two beers, that last person chugs two straight, then it comes back the opposite direction:  An “up and back” relay.  Skullympics was one beer each, as it was a multiple heat contest.

            “How do you cheat in a chug off?”  I said.

            “You flick the foam off, put fingers in the beer to warm it- lots of stuff,” Doreen said.  “Beef saw it, but he didn’t care.”

            “So all Skulls are assholes because of this?”  I said.

            “Yes!  Well, no, but we’re not going to do it next year because you guys just don’t care,” Doreen said.

            “I can’t say what did or didn’t happen…”

            “Don’t make excuses for your brothers.  They fuckin’ suck!”  Mandy said, then laughed.

            “As I started to say, I can’t say what did or didn’t happen because I wasn’t there.  I was home that weekend.”

            “Your brothers wanted the Acacia girls to win so they could fuck them,” Virginia said.

            “That’s possible.  I mean, you ladies are far more moral and would never have a one night stand,” I said.  I don’t think I could’ve been more sarcastic. 

            The girls all laughed.

            “Well, tell you what.  If you want, next year ask for me as your coach.  I’ll fight for you,” I said.

            Heidi smiled.  “That’s very sweet of you, but what if you’re an asshole too?” she said.

            “He is, trust me,” Virginia said.

            “Thanks,” I said.

            “Anytime, dear.”

            “I can’t be too bad.  I mean, I’m here, right?”

            “He’s got a point.  Why are you here?”  Doreen said.

            “Judy and I want to get him drunk and take advantage of him,” Virginia said.

            “What about Rich?”  Heidi said.

            Judy looked over.

            “Oh well!  More for me!”  Virginia said, and toasted with Mandy.

            Doreen stood and got beers for us all, and we started playing drinking games.  Judy never came very close to me the entire night, but she couldn’t could she?  I mean, not and maintain our little illusion.

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