Monday, May 6, 2013

A New Chapter

"It was amazing.  It was literally life changing.  For the first time ever going out, I didn't think of myself as a freak, outcast, or even as transgender.  I thought of myself as a woman like any other.  And in fact, most of the time I didn't think of it at all, I just was."
Text to Lisa E., Sun May 5, 2013.

And it was.

Early last week, I determined that I couldn't wait three weeks to be Me again.  So, as I had off from both jobs on Saturday, I decided to figure out a way to go out as me.  As the week slowly plodded by, I decided that I'd get my makeup done and go to Laptop Lounge that night.

All Amanda Richards had open was earlier or later.  I chose earlier.  Noon in fact.  That meant having the whole day as Sophie. 

My friend Hayden came in from Harrisburg, and I picked him up at the train station around 3:30.  From there we went to the motel where we were splitting a room (strictly platonic), then off to New Hope!

Hayden had never been to New Hope, and I'd never been there during the day as Sophie.

At New Hope, PA, by the Delaware River

We arrived to an amazingly crowded scene.  Saturday was a gorgeous spring day, and everyone was out enjoying it.  One woman walked in front of my car, and was pulled back by her boyfriend who then shouted at me.  I literally couldn't see them for the crowds.  I apologized... I mean what else could I do?  No one was hurt.  I was a little rattled though.

We searched around for a place called Havana which was recommended by Jen Bryant (who we invited to join us, but couldn't make it.)  It was packed at that place so we stopped at Karla's.  We found a nice corner seat and enjoyed a good dinner.

...and the dressing on the side!

After dinner, we walked about for a while, then went to the Raven for a quick drink (as he'd never been there either.)  There I saw Holly from Asbury Park, NJ.  I'd met her at one of Jen Bryant's Raven parties, but couldn't remember her name.  *embarrassed*

After that, we stopped at Blue Pacific in the King of Prussia Mall to say "Hi" to Andy.

That's a lot of places.

 And not once did I feel out of place.  Yes, New Hope is a "safe area" but King of Prussia Mall?

As I wrote to Lisa, it was so totally different.  For many reasons... but it comes down to something trivial.  Doesn't it always?

As I've mentioned many times, I have Scots blood.  My mother was a Scots national.  So due to that genetic marker, I am a wookie.  Very hairy.  Thanks to laser and electrolysis I'm sorting this out.  And I'm been shaving my legs, arm pits, and upper chest for years. Oh, and I keep things tidy down south as well.   My Wife helps me by applying Nair to my back occasionally (she hates back hair too.)

But there's one area I never touched... my stomach.  I mean, it's always under my top or my corset so why bother?

Well, now my breasts are noticeably growing, and looking down I see them... and Hair. 

So Friday night and Saturday morning, using Nair, shaving, weed whacker, and machete, I cleaned off the belly hair.  I haven't been this bare since I was maybe 18.

And I looked down and saw... skin.  Soft skin. 

And that made me feel so feminine, and that carried through the whole day.  Also, during the day I wasn't wearing a corset.  The only padding of any kind were breast forms.  So it was just me, really.  That added so much to it as well.

After the Blue Pacific visit, we went to the motel room, and while Hayden showered, I changed and adjusted my makeup to more of a "night look."

Then we walked over to Winberies for Angela's Laptop Lounge

Hayden and I at Laptop.  Photo courtesy Angela's Laptop Lounge

The turnout was good.  I saw some dear friends, including my "Big Sis" Mel.  I met someone named Jane Air, who contacted me earlier about attending.  It was her first time anywhere ever.  I introduced her around.  She was so nice, and very pretty.  (Why is it all the "new girls" look SO much better than I did/do?)

A couple of times during the evening, I went outside to gather my thoughts.  On both occasions my dear friend Alexis was outside smoking, and called over to me asking if I was ok.  I was touched by her concern.  I was fine.  Well, actually I felt a little tipsy, but I needed to get my head around all that had already happened that day.  The second time out, I leaned against a tree next to the parking lot, and prayed.  Yes, prayed.  I asked for guidance.

Later, after Mel left, I decided to call it a night as well.  My feet hurt just a little, so I removed my shoes and walked across the parking lot barefoot.  Warm weather is great for that!  Hayden, ever the gentleman, walked me back.

Hayden was in the bathroom brushing his teeth as I changed back.  My normal routine was always nails first, then lashes, then wig, then everything else.  Not that night.  I first stripped off my blouse, corset (which I put on for the night), skirt, removed my breasts forms and my bra.  I removed the tape from my chest.  I stood all but naked, still wearing my wig and made up. 

No pads.  Just me.

I saw the nearly Nude Woman looking back at me.  I looked at her hairless body, and her small but noticeable breasts, and her soft skin. 

I started to cry tears of happiness.

I kept whispering to myself.  "It's a Dream come true.  It's a Dream come true."

I caressed my body, and she did the same.  Her blue eyes sparkled with happiness as tears ran down her cheeks.  Her smile was so genuine.

I've crossed a boundary between what Was and what Will Be.  My drab self is disappearing.  My body is becoming what it always should have been.

Will I ever be a perfect woman?  Hell no.  Will I pass as a woman?  Maybe.  But Saturday night in a cheap motel room looking into a mirror, none of that mattered.  I think I really SAW myself for the first time in 46 years.  No pads.  No prosthetics.  Just Me.

My life as I knew it is over. 

The Journey enters a New Chapter.


  1. Loved your post, Sophie. What a wonderful and emotional day!

  2. We know that every journey begins with a single step. You have made many great strides and also some small but significant steps.
    I am glad that you recognize your proceeding as a journey with a less than distinct ending. That being the case it is often good to stop along the way to assess progress, smell the flowers and reflect on where you are and where you have been.

  3. Sophie, so happy to be a part of your wonderful day, thanks for taking the time to include me in it, and the lovely compliments. you truly are a beautiful woman in and out . Jane

  4. Yes It is pretty neat when you can be pretty much naked and feel the nature take hold. The clothes pretty much become secondary at that point. I know now with my own boobies and hair, things in the day just seem easier to take even when I pose as "that guy".

    I hope to catch you sometime.