Friday, February 1, 2019

Men of the Skull Chapter 42: We Talk

After Judy gave me the letter in the previous chapter, I really wanted to sit down and speak with her.  However, I couldn't that night, as the Fraternity had a Chapter Meeting.   So I had to wait a full day.

Luck smiled on me, though.  Virginia had a date that night, so she wanted their apartment to herself.  That meant Judy was free to do whatever without raising suspicion.

So it was that Judy and I went to the Roy Rogers on College Ave to do homework.  If things went well, we'd move on from there.

Things went well.  At first.

What happened next, I attribute to my being very inexperienced in matters of the heart.  I didn't understand my emotions, so controlling them was out of the question.  Of course, back then I thought I was very grown up and experienced.  The Delusion of Youth.

That night changed the course of my life, but I didn't know it then.  I would soon though.


Chapter 42:  We Talk

Tuesday, January 27, 1987 Coup Attempted in Phillippines

            The Roy Rogers on College Ave was THE place to study.  First of all, it was huge!  There were lots of big tables to spread out all your books and papers.  There was food.  But the most important part- refills on large drinks were free- that was KEY!  Still, it was a bit weird walking into a fast food place on a weeknight and having it as quiet as a library.  Still, I loved their chicken nuggets!  During finals week, tables were impossible to find.  Judy was already there when I arrived, her books and notes spread out in a booth near the front windows.  We could watch the cars and people go by through the slush and light snow. 

            She smiled when she saw me.  Maybe this whole thing wasn’t unsalvageable.  Maybe.

            She was wearing her white angora sweater which clung tightly to her breasts.  Me?  My Police “Synchronicity’ concert shirt.  It was still early in the semester but we both were buried by homework.  I sat across from her and pulled some notebooks from my book bag.  In one of them was the letter she’d given me the previous day. 

            Tonight was the night.  Tonight Virginia was going out with Chuck, the Phi Tau.
Collegian Tues Jan 27, 1987

            “So what are you studying?”  I asked.
            “Health Policy Issues.  Yuk!  And you?”
            “I have to write a story for my writing class, but I figured we could talk about your letter.”
            “Do you think that this is the right time and place to do that?” she asked.
            “Why not?  Being here will force us to keep our voices down and our emotions under control.”
            She shrugged slightly.  “Ok, well what do you want to know?”
            I gulped down some Coke to steady myself.  Why was I nervous? 
            “Well, if I read this correctly” I said while pulling out the letter, “you’re still, um, interested.”
            Judy smiled slightly.  “Maybe.  I don’t know for sure.”
            “Well, what are OUR options?”
            “Are you still interested?” she asked.
            Oh Jeee-zus!
            “I thought I made that very clear.  I’m very interested.”  Mistake!  Idiot!
            “I think I am.  I’m so confused.”  She leaned back and stretched, showing off her beautiful breasts.  Several guys nearby watched and smiled briefly.  I got a few “what’s she doing with him?” looks.
            “You still haven’t answered the question” I said.
            “One option is that we forget it and just be friends,” she said.
            “Another option is that we forget it and go our separate ways.”
            “That is an option.  I wouldn’t like that though” she said.
            “Another option is that we can give it a try” I said.  “We could give us a shot and try to make it work.”
            “I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do.  It wouldn’t be fair to Richard.”
            “Sorry, I don’t care about that part.  I care about you.  Are you being fair to yourself?”
            “Why do you ask?  Because you’re here and Richard isn’t?” she said, crossing her arms over her breasts, pushing them up slightly.
            “Something like that.  You said yourself that you were lonely during the week.  We could keep it quiet.  No one needs to know about you and me.”
            “I also said that I’m not dissatisfied with Richard.”
            I leaned back and sighed.  “So why are we even having this conversation?  Why did you write what you did in that letter?”
            “I told you!  I’m very confused.  I don’t know what to do!”
            “Well I can’t wait forever.”
            “I know.  Would you prefer if I said ‘no’ right now?”
            I leaned forward and put the letter back into a notebook.  “That’s completely up to you.”
            We sat looking at each other for a moment.  My whole world sat right in front of me.  I saw nothing else.
            Then she smiled and unfolded her arms.
            “Why don’t we just see what happens?” she said.  “If things happen, they happen.”
            I smiled.  It was a start- maybe more.

Collegian Jan 27, 1987

            A few hours later, Judy and I headed back to Beaver Hill.  It was still snowing lightly, just enough to coat State College in a thin layer of white and wet.  We arrived back at my apartment and shook off our coats and boots.  It was already past eleven and Mark was in bed. 
Judy lay on the couch.  We kept the light on the kitchen but that was all. 
So I started giving her the back rub I promised.  I kept my hands over her sweater as they were cold as ice cubes.  Every once in a while she would groan just a little.  Her back was very tight and I rubbed and kneaded it for a while.
Eventually I thought my hands were warm enough, so I snaked them under her sweater to caress her soft skin.  She sighed in approval. 
As I massaged her back I unclasped her bra.  She didn’t object.  I rubbed Judy’s back for quite some time.  Eventually my hands tired.  I stretched out on the couch next to her.  We wrapped our arms around each other.  Her soft lips were so close I could taste her breath.
“So what now?”  Judy asked.
I started running my fingers through her soft raven black hair.
“Well, I have some ideas” I said.
            “Like what?” she asked.
            I kissed her lightly.  I didn’t know what to expect.
            She kissed me back.  Tenderly.
            We kissed for a while.  I slid my hands under her white sweater again, and rubbed her back and stomach.  I slowly ran my hand over her left breast.  Judy looked at me with half closed eyes.  “Please don’t do that” she said quietly.
            “Why not?”
            “Because you’ll make me want more” she said, almost moaning.
            As lame as I was, even I caught that invitation!
            I kissed her again, starting tenderly and slowly kissing her harder, deeper.  I caressed her breast gently.  Judy moaned quietly then grabbed my head with both hands and kissed me passionately. 
            This was it!  This was the night!  Finally!
            We kissed and touched.  I nibbled on her neck.  She slid her hand under my shirt and rubbed my chest.
            I wanted 
            To stay in
This moment
            I began to work Judy’s sweater upwards- trying to pull it slowly over her head.  She responded by kissing my neck and ear.  She nibbled my earlobe and whispered my name gently. 
            RRRRRRRRING!!!  The fucking phone rang.
            We looked at each other- the moment ruined.
            “It’s probably Virginia” Judy said.
            I stood and headed over to answer the phone.  Judy lay propped up on her elbow.
            “Hi!  Is Judy there?”  It was Virginia.
            I looked over at Judy.  She rolled her eyes, nodded, and collapsed on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
            “Yeah.  She’s indisposed at the moment, though.”
            “Bathroom?”  Virginia asked.
            “Ok.  Chuck just left so I just wanted her to know that it’s safe to come back to the apartment if she wants.”
            “OK, I’ll tell her.”
            “Are you coming over?”  Virginia asked. 
            “Maybe.  We’ll see.” 

            By the time I hung up, Judy had reassembled herself and stood.
            “I should go back to the apartment?” she asked.
            I walked over and put my arms around her.  She looked up into my eyes. 
            “No.  You don’t” I said.
            “If I don’t, Virginia will get suspicious.”
            Damn!  She was right.  Besides the mood was gone.
            We walked through the light snow down to Sutton Court.  When we arrived, Virginia was sitting on the couch reading her sign language textbook.  She smiled broadly at us when we entered the living room.  I’d seen that smile before.
            I wasn’t in a great mood.  I mean, Virginia just interrupted my best chance yet with Judy.  And something else- a deep anger and pain.  Why did I feel that?  Was it because of another missed opportunity?  Or was I actually… jealous?

The Police Shirt, being worn 20 years later by Wife at Police concert (2007)

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