Monday, February 9, 2015

Keystone Prequel and Prep

"Anyway, a glass of wine and off to bed. I was soaked with sweat. I took off the clothes, but not the wig. Started packing. Shoes... Wash off breastforms...
Then I looked in the mirror at my face and wig. It made me so sad. I would take off the wig, and Sophie would disappear. If only for a while I know, but... It still made me so sad. So, I whispered to my reflection "Goodbye Sophie" and removed my wig and makeup."    (entry from March 15, 2009)

"It was eerie. When I close my eyes and think about the walk to the Dog & Pony on Sunday morning I swear I can hear dying echos of the most genuinely delightful laughter. It's like hearing ghosts from the past, Sophie."

Hayden Denton,  TCPA staff  (entry from March 31, 2013)

The seventh annual Keystone Conference is coming.  The above quotes are from blog entries I wrote about past conferences.  (To be fair, the one is a quote I reproduced with Hayden's kind permission.)

I just re-read the first quote about a half hour ago and started to cry.  I remember being so sad.  As my dear friend Tammy commented, I've come so far.  I don't say goodbye to Sophie any more.  I've said goodbye to many things in this journey: marriage, comfortable life, etc, but I now see Sophie in the mirror when I wake up every morning.

But my point is this- Keystone evokes very strong emotions from those who attend. 

My first Keystone gala- 2009

As those who follow this blog know, I've been attending Keystone since the very first one.  This one will be the seventh as well.  Each year it gets bigger and better.   And again I am presenting (10:30 AM on Thursday if you'd care to come.)

But this is where is gets complex.  Simply put, I couldn't afford to go.  And as much as I love it, Keystone is a luxury.  I really wanted to go and see my friends, enjoy the speakers, learn, Vanity Club dinner- everything about it.  But I couldn't afford it.

Fortunately, Keystone offers financial aid.  I applied.  And was accepted.

I wish to publicly thank those running the Keystone Conference for helping me attend this year's conference.  

Keystone is different for me now, but has always been a place of comfort.  I spent my first days full time as a woman at Keystone.  I met so many of my friends there.  It was an oasis in a sea of drab, and now it's a mile marker.  Every year I want to be better than I was when I last left the conference.  Each year I arrive and ask myself- Have I improved?  Am I a better person; a better woman than I was the year before?

I am so very lucky to be where I am.  I am Me full time now.  Things could be better, sure, but at least I'm not pretending or lying to the world any more.

Keystone has been the springboard for so many on this journey.  I love attending it.  Maybe this year, I can make a difference...

Ally, Linda, and Me at Keystone 2014

1 comment:

  1. Hello Sophie just want drop you a little note how i enjoy reading your blog and keep the fight up on the Gop