Today is October 10.
My mother was born on this day in 1939, over in Scotland. Her home was not far from an Armaments factory which the Luftwaffe, flying from France, bombed. She still remembers the sirens and the explosions.
So today she's 73. Still kicking. She and my dad live in southern Delaware on the water.
As I mentioned in a previous entry, I don't get along with my parents. In fact, I avoid them like I do the rest of my family.
But then there's that whole fifth commandment thing.
My parents are here in Pennsylvania for the night. Long story as to why, but there it is. My mom wanted to go to dinner.
I'd rather gargle maggots, but my parents wanted to see their grandchild.
So after work, I went directly to a local restaurant and met my parents, wife and daughter. They were there with my uncle (dad's brother) with whom they are staying the night. The conversation centered around the ailments of my extended family. Another cousin with a stroke (that's two in that family), my uncle had a stroke, and dad revealed that he had a "silent heart attack."
And here I thought it was cancer going to get me. Maybe cirrhosis will beat them all to it.
Always a zany time at the table with my parents.
My daughter behaved herself well enough for a four year old in a restaurant.
I couldn't help but think what they would've said if Sophie walked through the restaurant door and sat with them. My parents have both commented in the past how they consider transgenders to be "freaks."
I fully expect they'd disown me. But I thought the same of my wife too...
So I survived dinner. I won't see them again until Thanksgiving, when we'll all travel down there to see them. My wife knows how I feel about my parents. She wonders why i still make sure to see them on one of the year end holidays.
Sense of duty I guess. Like it or not, without them, there'd be no me. Many times I cursed them for bringing me into this world. They often told me I was "a mistake." And they wondered why I attempted suicide.
Now it's time for randomness:
I have an appointment on November 7 at the Mazzoni Center for starting HRT. So I won't be starting on Halloween as I would've liked. Oh well.
In other news, my Shift button seems to be failing as I keep having to go back and capitalize things. Especially "I." And I say I far too often.
Also, I'm working on a website for my friend Lorraine for her "Occasional Woman" business. She makes my costumes and tailors thing for me when they don't fit. Soon, people will be able to order costumes, clothes, etc from her online. Or at least get hold of her. That will be a start. She does amazing work.
I picked up Pete Townshend's book "Who I Am" today. Pete is one of my heroes. Quadrophenia is one of my all time fave albums as it really captures the insanity of adolescence and the pain of being different in a world where conformity is King. He was in Philly tonight signing books, but I didn't know until it was over. *kicking myself*
That's about it. I'm working on a new short story that I actually don't think will suck. I'll probably post this one on Fictionmania. But that said, I want to work on it a bit before going to bed, so I am OUTTA HERE!
My mother was born on this day in 1939, over in Scotland. Her home was not far from an Armaments factory which the Luftwaffe, flying from France, bombed. She still remembers the sirens and the explosions.
So today she's 73. Still kicking. She and my dad live in southern Delaware on the water.
As I mentioned in a previous entry, I don't get along with my parents. In fact, I avoid them like I do the rest of my family.
But then there's that whole fifth commandment thing.
My parents are here in Pennsylvania for the night. Long story as to why, but there it is. My mom wanted to go to dinner.
I'd rather gargle maggots, but my parents wanted to see their grandchild.
So after work, I went directly to a local restaurant and met my parents, wife and daughter. They were there with my uncle (dad's brother) with whom they are staying the night. The conversation centered around the ailments of my extended family. Another cousin with a stroke (that's two in that family), my uncle had a stroke, and dad revealed that he had a "silent heart attack."
And here I thought it was cancer going to get me. Maybe cirrhosis will beat them all to it.
Always a zany time at the table with my parents.
My daughter behaved herself well enough for a four year old in a restaurant.
I couldn't help but think what they would've said if Sophie walked through the restaurant door and sat with them. My parents have both commented in the past how they consider transgenders to be "freaks."
I fully expect they'd disown me. But I thought the same of my wife too...
So I survived dinner. I won't see them again until Thanksgiving, when we'll all travel down there to see them. My wife knows how I feel about my parents. She wonders why i still make sure to see them on one of the year end holidays.
Sense of duty I guess. Like it or not, without them, there'd be no me. Many times I cursed them for bringing me into this world. They often told me I was "a mistake." And they wondered why I attempted suicide.
Now it's time for randomness:
I have an appointment on November 7 at the Mazzoni Center for starting HRT. So I won't be starting on Halloween as I would've liked. Oh well.
In other news, my Shift button seems to be failing as I keep having to go back and capitalize things. Especially "I." And I say I far too often.
Also, I'm working on a website for my friend Lorraine for her "Occasional Woman" business. She makes my costumes and tailors thing for me when they don't fit. Soon, people will be able to order costumes, clothes, etc from her online. Or at least get hold of her. That will be a start. She does amazing work.
With Lorraine in a costume she made for me, 2010.
I picked up Pete Townshend's book "Who I Am" today. Pete is one of my heroes. Quadrophenia is one of my all time fave albums as it really captures the insanity of adolescence and the pain of being different in a world where conformity is King. He was in Philly tonight signing books, but I didn't know until it was over. *kicking myself*
That's about it. I'm working on a new short story that I actually don't think will suck. I'll probably post this one on Fictionmania. But that said, I want to work on it a bit before going to bed, so I am OUTTA HERE!
March on, girlfriend, march on. The start date means little once it comes to pass. The journey from there forward is quite long and is not always what we envision. The smartest thing I can say is save, save, save and stash, stash, stash. You never know when the rain will fall.
ReplyDeleteSophie, I just picked up Who I Am, too. We'll have to compare notes.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to hear that your parents called you a "mistake" to your face. I believe that a lot of what our parents say to us shapes who we are. As a parent myself I often worry that my "condition", the positive and the negative, seeps into my two boys subconsciously, in words perhaps, but also in emotions, and temperament. I'm constantly worried how the rest of their lives will pan out. Too many times I have said things that I wish I could erase from their experience.
ReplyDeleteIn my mind I often muse on how I would come out to my parents. They are pretty accepting of homosexuals; I have a male cousin who is gay. But I have never got a reading of how they feel about transgender people. They are both college educated people, but have probably not explored the phenomena much on their own. And with my cousin, he's not their son so it's ok.
So we have one more thing in common Sophie. Quadrophenia is one of my top ten albums. It's a "desert island disk", one I would choose if I suddenly had to become Robinson Crusoe. It really struck a cord with me (no pun intended). Along with great songs, the recordings of Keith Moon's percussive madness are among his best.
I salute your continuing steadfastness and tenacity. I will mark Nov. 7th on my calendar so can celebrate the day with you somehow!
Nessa
Sophie,
ReplyDeleteTry a little tenderness when it comes to your family. They may not be the best but they are the one you have. As your folks age it can be hoped that the mellow a bit...many do.
The musical genius and talent of Pete Townsend cannot be questioned. I saw him with Roger and John several years ago do Quadrophenia at the Byrne Arena in the Meadowlands. It was a great show. They had Zack Starkey, Ringo's son, on drums.
I am a huge 'Tommy' fan. I wore out several vinyl LPs as well as several cassette tapes. I now have one CD of Tommy at ome and another in my car...hey, you never know when I need to hear a little Pinball Wizard and catch up on the hijinks of the Acid Queen. Sometimes I just need to hear the Overture or the Amazing Journey or Holiday Camp or We're not Gonna Take It.
Pat
"Sickness will surely take the mind where minds don't usually go."
Delete