White Out and Sundry

This past weekend was Homecoming at Penn State, and, unlike last year, Homecoming was the "White Out" game.  That means a LOT of people, a night game, and a definite electricity all week on campus.  Homecoming week is usually special, but adding White Out makes it more.  Add to that the beautiful weather and the trees reaching peak colors... one couldn't ask for anything more.

I didn't have tickets (I couldn't afford them), but I knew that my fraternity was having an alumni tailgate.  Last year I couldn't find it, and felt deceived.  This year, should I bother even trying?  I could stay at the apartment and do nothing (aside from the Halloween decoration project I was working on.  I wrote about that HERE.)  

I've wallowing in self pity, Imposter syndrome, and self-hate for weeks (years?) and not doing anything.  Immobilized.  So I started working on old projects and such to try to do ANYTHING.  So, I decided to shower, shave (first time for either since Tuesday), get out the fucking door, and go to the tailgate, where people probably wouldn't care if I showed up anyway.  However, I brought a bucket of Fireball shot bottles, so at least I would feel like I contributed SOMETHING.  The house supplied a buffet.

So it was that I boarded a bus to campus, so I didn't have to walk the whole way.  I still ended up walking a couple of miles that day, but not two plus miles each way.  I hoped to get lots of pictures, and I did.  I walked through the rich folks tailgating area next to the stadium, wondering at the huge spreads and elaborate RVs.  While searching for the Alumni RV, I encountered the people I met last year (but didn't write about), and they remembered me!  That felt good.  I found the fraternity tailgate easily enough- it was mostly people from the late 70s and early 80, but one from my time, as well as several undergrads.  It was mellow-ish.  One of the recent grads misgendered me so I returned the favor by calling him "Pledge", which he didn't like, but he got the hint after a couple of times.

I ended up doing seven of those fireball shots with various people and drank 3 beers (plus food and water), so I was feeling fairly good as I left the tailgate.  The sun was setting, and the crowd was flowing toward the stadium as I walked the opposite way toward the bus stop, taking more photos.  On the bus ride back, a college girl was passed out cold on the seat across from me.  I knew she was alive as I saw her breathing.  In any case, as we approached one of the apartments near mine, she woke with a start, and exited at the stop.  

After arriving back at the lair, I had a little more to eat and a LOT of water.  Linda and I watched the game, ate pizza, and flipped to the Phillies game during time outs and the half.  The Phillies won, and would win the pennant the next night, so they're going to the World Series.

Monday night was a strange night here on campus.  One of the MAGA student groups invited the founder of the Proud Boys and another fascist to come speak (recruit), so there was a large student protest.  (I was ready to attend, but fell asleep attempting to read PhD stuff and missed it.) In any case, the Proud Boys body slammed a woman, then fired pepper spray at students and police.  After that, the event was cancelled.  Gee, Proud boys becoming violent/  Who woulda thunk it?  Eyeroll.  Still, the fascists got their money and publicity, and blamed antifa for the violence.  (Hint: antifa wasn't there.)  

In any case, I've been sick as a dog the past few days.  Sleeping a lot.  It's not covid (I did a test.)  So I've continued to be useless.  Go figure.

Be well.