I walked out to my car to go to work at around 12:30 (Friday). It was already a difficult morning- even putting my clothes on became a war, making me late for the cardiologist appointment; traffic was horrible (graduation weekend plus end of finals); I hadn't eaten or drunk anything so I was hungry.
So, bad mood already.
Got to near my car, which is parked up on the street (I don't have a parking permit), and some fat asshole with a Ford F-small penis pickup truck parked maybe four spaces ahead shouts at me "what the fuck are you supposed to be?"
He was in his 50s or 60s, crew cut, beer belly, grubby t-shirt. Truck had a "trump 2020- f*ck your feelings" bumper sticker.
I saw red, and started picking targets. I dropped what I was holding and started toward him, first slowly, then started running. He jumped in his truck and left before I reached him. He obviously didn't expect any sort of reply, especially from some woman bigger than he was.
Pic taken hours later. At the time, it was just my car and his truck on the street
In that short eternity that I headed toward him, I heard every insult I'd endured since re-emerging as Sophie in 2008. Every slur and misgendering since transition. Every heartbreak. "Lighten up!"
"Can't you take it?" "F*ckin' fagg*t!" "Damn you make an ugly girl!"
"Who are you trying to fool? "YOU DISGUST ME!"
"Thank you, SIR!" "God hates trannies!" "F*cking freak!" "They found Lisa in Essex. She's gone."
"Fat ass dude ain't foolin' no one!" *points and laughs* "she wants you out of this house by Saturday." "You're an abomination in the eyes of God." "hear about Nikki? Killed herself last night." IDontFeelanEmotionalConnectionWithYouAnymoreWhydon'tYouJustDieandDoUSallaFavorOverqualifiedWe'regoingtogoinadifferentdirection...
she committed suicide last night. Anyone hear from xxx? She's missing. Can someone get over there? Jumped from a radio tower. Transgender woman murdered in...
If I'd reached him, I would've hurt him. Bad. Not feminine? Being female doesn't mean being a door mat. And I have had ENOUGH of abuse.
Sorry- another downer entry.
I must say though- the look of utter Terror in that coward's face was delicious. He knew he'd screwed up and a reckoning was coming.
I feel for you Sophie. I wish things like this didn't happen. You know as I do that there are mean people everywhere and they have been given the "Go ahead to insult" anyone. Going after him as you did may have scared him off this time. The next time may be different. And if he's a local he may be around again. Watch yourself out there.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt he's a local. Probably was in the woods there for a bit
Deletethey would not do that to me i was a Drill Sgt in the Army for three years i would have come at him did a shark attack and ask him "what is you major malfunction is your problem". then inform him he would be missing and they will not find his body if he said any thing
ReplyDeleteSophie -
ReplyDeleteThis is when I wish someone were with you, so that you could have walked over and beat the shit out of the jerk - with a little help from a friend.
M
Anger is a weak response, and this for three main reasons:
ReplyDeleteIt shows that we take the insult, and therefore the insulter, seriously.
It suggests that there may be some truth in the insult.
It upsets and destabilizes us, which, apart from being unpleasant, can invite further insults.