I've written before about how I grew up reading comic books (I rarely read them now as I can't afford them, and other reasons.). Yes, I was and am still a geek.
Seems like everyone has a favorite superhero. These days it seems that most people are Batman or Spider-Man fans. I love those characters too, but the one I identified with the most growing up was Superman.
Some say Superman is boring or corny, or that he's too powerful. I never saw the character that way. I had a few reasons for this.
First is really the basis of the character. I remember they talked about it in an issue of World's Finest 292.
Superman as the Example- the beacon of Hope and Good. Living as an example for people to follow, even without powers.
But there is something else- Superman is "the last son of Krypton." Supposedly. I mean, not counting Supergirl. Or Superwoman. Or New Krypton. Are they still in continuity? Oh whatever. For this discussion, he's the only one.
Superman, for all his amazing powers, was alone. Yes, he has adopted parents, friends, and a harem of women with the initials "LL," but could any of them crush coal into a diamond or fly? (Ok, there were some cheesy 50s stories, but work with me.)
He was different, and he KNEW it. He couldn't tell anyone about this difference. Neither could I.
Remember, I grew up before the internet. All I knew was my dying small town, and I KNEW how they would react if I announced my Truth. If I even could announce it- all I knew is that I was different, that I was really a girl, and I thought I was the only one in the world like me.
Of course, I didn't want to BE Superman. I mean, MAN. No thank you.
I wanted to be Supergirl... or Superwoman. I wanted to pull open my shirt and see the "S" on my breasts.
Being one of kind, even (especially?) with that kind power, is a special kind of lonely. I couldn't talk to ANYONE about it. In fact, I had to hide it, and do my best to deny any much desired femininity. Remember, the 70s and 80s were the time of the "macho" hero. Burt Reynolds, Lee Majors, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris... I could go on all day. Almost every guy admired them and their ability to kick ass. Not me. I admired someone whose strength was that while he COULD kick ass- he could destroy the world- his strength was in NOT doing so.
Back then, that was considered "sissy girl" thinking. Oh wait- even now that's considered "sissy girl" thinking. Power is to be used- Might makes Right. Ends justify the means.
Sorry, I don't subscribe to that way of thinking.
Superman changed a lot over his (currently) eighty years. The eighties saw a shift in perspective- Clark was the person, and Superman the identity, not vice versa (and he was a yuppie, but we won't discuss that.) In the 90s, he revealed his identity to Lois Lane, and they married. (How in the world would they have sex? Surprisingly, that topic's been approached!)
In several stories, he's been changed to a woman, including a genderswapped timeline. Oh to have magic in our world. Here I am Mr. Mxyzptlk! Change away!
Eventually, every secret comes out. Well, the ones not taken to the grave, anyway. Lois discovered Clark's identity. Pete Ross knew it for years. keeping my secret was no longer an option, so I transitioned.
Eventually, I bought a Supergirl costume- a version more like her original. And, finally, I looked down and saw the "S" on my breasts. ("My breasts." I still can't believe it even after over six years on HRT.)
Seems like everyone has a favorite superhero. These days it seems that most people are Batman or Spider-Man fans. I love those characters too, but the one I identified with the most growing up was Superman.
Art: John Byrne
Some say Superman is boring or corny, or that he's too powerful. I never saw the character that way. I had a few reasons for this.
First is really the basis of the character. I remember they talked about it in an issue of World's Finest 292.
Superman as the Example- the beacon of Hope and Good. Living as an example for people to follow, even without powers.
Kingdom Come #4, Mark Waid- writer, Alex Ross- artist
But there is something else- Superman is "the last son of Krypton." Supposedly. I mean, not counting Supergirl. Or Superwoman. Or New Krypton. Are they still in continuity? Oh whatever. For this discussion, he's the only one.
Superman, for all his amazing powers, was alone. Yes, he has adopted parents, friends, and a harem of women with the initials "LL," but could any of them crush coal into a diamond or fly? (Ok, there were some cheesy 50s stories, but work with me.)
He was different, and he KNEW it. He couldn't tell anyone about this difference. Neither could I.
Of course, I didn't want to BE Superman. I mean, MAN. No thank you.
I wanted to be Supergirl... or Superwoman. I wanted to pull open my shirt and see the "S" on my breasts.
Being one of kind, even (especially?) with that kind power, is a special kind of lonely. I couldn't talk to ANYONE about it. In fact, I had to hide it, and do my best to deny any much desired femininity. Remember, the 70s and 80s were the time of the "macho" hero. Burt Reynolds, Lee Majors, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris... I could go on all day. Almost every guy admired them and their ability to kick ass. Not me. I admired someone whose strength was that while he COULD kick ass- he could destroy the world- his strength was in NOT doing so.
Back then, that was considered "sissy girl" thinking. Oh wait- even now that's considered "sissy girl" thinking. Power is to be used- Might makes Right. Ends justify the means.
Sorry, I don't subscribe to that way of thinking.
Superman changed a lot over his (currently) eighty years. The eighties saw a shift in perspective- Clark was the person, and Superman the identity, not vice versa (and he was a yuppie, but we won't discuss that.) In the 90s, he revealed his identity to Lois Lane, and they married. (How in the world would they have sex? Surprisingly, that topic's been approached!)
In several stories, he's been changed to a woman, including a genderswapped timeline. Oh to have magic in our world. Here I am Mr. Mxyzptlk! Change away!
Eventually, every secret comes out. Well, the ones not taken to the grave, anyway. Lois discovered Clark's identity. Pete Ross knew it for years. keeping my secret was no longer an option, so I transitioned.
Eventually, I bought a Supergirl costume- a version more like her original. And, finally, I looked down and saw the "S" on my breasts. ("My breasts." I still can't believe it even after over six years on HRT.)
I'd waited a life time. I may not have the power to destroy the planet, or to fly, or being impervious to physical harm... but I'm a Woman. A mortal woman- with all the frailties and problems that entails (does Supergirl get 2/3 the credit Superman does for saving the world?) I also have the issues that come with being a "non-passing" transgender woman in 45's America.
Speaking of mortal women- Supergirl isn't my first Superhero costume. That was Captain "Mary" Marvel, the World's Mightiest Mortal. This was the first costume made for me by the incredible Lorraine Anderson. These days, Captain Marvel is better known as Shazam (and Mary is "Lady Shazam"). She appealed to me because the idea of a single word changing me from a lame skinny boy into a Powerful Woman in an instant. Oh how I wished!
Makeup by Amanda Richards
But I digress. Even though Captain Marvel (1940) was clearly inspired by Superman (1938), and Supergirl (1959) (or, to nitpick, Superwoman in 1943) was inspired by Mary Marvel (1942).
Would I want all those powers, and the responsibility that come with them? (Astro City did a wonderful issue about these pressures in their first issue.) Absolutely. If I had to settle for one power though, it would be flight. I'd love to soar to the clouds with the wind in my ears.
Above the powers and all, I understood the above mentioned loneliness, and the desire to just Be who I needed to be. I knew Superman understood that loneliness as well, if in a different way. Neither of us could do anything about it. Yes, I transitioned, but I missed on being a young woman, a college age woman... everything until I was 47. I spent all that time yearning. In many ways I still do. I am incomplete in so many ways.
But at least now, I can wear the "S" and Dream.
No wig- just me.
Love the costumes!!! :D Thanks for sharing, Sophie!
ReplyDelete== Cass
I think that this was a well written post.
ReplyDeleteI also think that at many stops along the TG highway the concept of a 'secret identity' is quite appropriate.