I am probably going to end this blog.
At its height, the blog averaged over a thousand hits a day, and did so for several years. But for the past year, it averages under a hundred- and the posts getting the most hits are the ones serializing Men of the Skull. Maybe because I cross post to a couple of PSU facebook pages.
Then there are the nasty comments, including my all time Fave:
As I'll never be able to afford any surgeries, my transition has stalled. This morning I contemplated de-transitoning, but I'd rather die than go back. So it's not like I have anything to write about that anyone will read. I can only post so many pictures of my breasts, which is all anyone seems to care about anyway. My flickr account gets 100 times the hits the blog does (and why do I still have that?)
I wrote a final entry a few years back. I'll update and use it soon.
In any case, it comes down to this:
No one reads. No one comments (aside from trolls.) No one cares.
Not worth my time and tears.
At its height, the blog averaged over a thousand hits a day, and did so for several years. But for the past year, it averages under a hundred- and the posts getting the most hits are the ones serializing Men of the Skull. Maybe because I cross post to a couple of PSU facebook pages.
Then there are the nasty comments, including my all time Fave:
As I'll never be able to afford any surgeries, my transition has stalled. This morning I contemplated de-transitoning, but I'd rather die than go back. So it's not like I have anything to write about that anyone will read. I can only post so many pictures of my breasts, which is all anyone seems to care about anyway. My flickr account gets 100 times the hits the blog does (and why do I still have that?)
I wrote a final entry a few years back. I'll update and use it soon.
In any case, it comes down to this:
No one reads. No one comments (aside from trolls.) No one cares.
Not worth my time and tears.
I read everyday, religiously. I do not comment because I am not a commentator-type. I will be very sorry to see the end of your blog!
ReplyDeleteMarcia, thank you for your kind words.
DeleteHowever, this post got a whole 18 views. Yours was the only comment.
I have done the blog for 10.5 years. That's a lot of content for you to read. And I currently still write for Transgender Forum.
Right now, I don't feel like doing anything. Because I fail at everything. As I've said for decades, "If you hit someone in the head with a baseball bat enough times, they will eventually go down."
The Darkness has me, but I won't let it win. I have to try to get that PhD to show certain people that I CAN do it. I have to see the day I shove that PhD diploma so far up their asses they taste mutton.
Thanks for reading. Sorry I let you down. I do that to everyone who's ever believed in me. Guess it was your turn.
I also am a regular reader of your blog and don't want it go away.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is still impactful for those of us the read it.
Please continue to blog even if it is only occasionally.
Aw. I'll be sad to see you go, but thanks for everything.
ReplyDeleteSophie -
ReplyDeleteI read your blog when you have something to post. Instead of trying to have something every day, or writing just to keep the blog running, why not consider a weekly/bi-weekly posting schedule and summarize what you feel is important in your life?
Getting 150 people per day isn't bad. Many people are leaving the blogging world because they are posting everything on Facebook (or similar platforms) and not taking the time to edit their thoughts into something worth reading. Yes, Stana had more readers. But she put a lot of effort into what she did, and suffered blog burnout.
I find that in writing my blog, it takes the edge off of my darkness, as it provides a way to identify my feelings, process them, and keep moving forward. You may never fully transition the way you desire. But if you keep edging forward, albeit slowly, you might just keep that black dog from biting you....
Good luck, whatever your decision may be.
M
Hi Sophie. We all get down in the dumps once in a while. When that happens to me, I tend to read blogs more. Yours has been with me for nearly as long as you have been writing. Leave the blog up and just post when you feel like it. I probably average one post per year but, for me, they're therapy. Who cares how many read it. Those that do are your quality followers. Hang in there girl and don't let those idiots bother you. We all get our share of those idiotic comments.
ReplyDeleteCalie xxx
I still read every post, hon. As for the comment from the troll, bear in mind that they were too much of a gutless POS coward to use their real name. Typical. F*** them - all of them. Don't let them win. Keep moving forward. We're with you.
ReplyDeleteHugs & love,
Cass
May I say the blogging world would be not as good if you packed things in? I understand it's a struggle and trolls don't help (unless you need to control billygoats 😁).
ReplyDeleteIf it helps, my own blog gets a similar number of hits too. I try not to look at the stats or the numbers of comments, but if I feel the post helped me or possibly someone else. Sometimes that one visitor learns something that really helps them (I know reading other blogs did that for me) but that one post visit is all that was needed.
I could never de-transition, myself. I can't even see myself going back to cross dressing, which is what I had done for years just to hold on to a bit of sanity. Mine has been a social transition only, so it may seem to be an easy switch back to my old male existence. My dysphoria would not allow it, however.
ReplyDeleteBecause I began developing blood clots, for no apparent reason, early on in my transition, I have been unable to undergo HRT. In fact, any surgeries that are not medically necessary would never be performed on me by any reputable doctor. As I say, I'm not willingly, and literally, "dying to be a woman." Nevertheless, I live my life as a woman, as the best woman I can be. I will not allow anyone or anything to deter me from that. I don't think that you should, either.
Every personal accomplishment is now made by the woman I am; the man can take none of the credit. If I were pursuing a PhD, my diploma would have no other name than Connie on it.
I have read many of your blog posts, and not because I was interested in looking at your boobs. ;-) I would surely miss you should you decide to quit writing them. Maybe fewer of them would be the right way to go, just as others have said here.
Sophie!
ReplyDeleteCount me as another sad girl if you give up the blog.
I never came to read about the mechanics of transition. There's tons of that out there.
I always enjoyed your viewpoints and adventures.
Are you really interested in quitting, or would you be happy if you got your readership back up?
ReplyDeletedepends upon when you ask. Right now, just quitting. Still. I'm so tired.
Delete