I haven't really posted in a while. Like anyone cares. In any case, I managed to get some things done.
To start with, I am in a play: A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum. In this comedy, I play a courtesan named Tintinabula. I have no lines, but I have a solo dance.
Those who have seen me dance know why it's a comedy.
Actually, the play is extremely funny, and cast is amazing. I'll be sorry when it ends. Being a part of this gives a sense of belonging.
I'm back being unemployed. I was offered a position, but, for reasons of my own, I turned it down. It seemed like a "high drama" zone- and I don't need any more drama.
In any case, that has given me plenty of time. When I was in Dracula in January, I made a few props for the play. The director of Forum was the makeup artist for Dracula, so she knew I did that. She asked me to do a prop or two for this play as well. I ended up doing almost all of the props. As I can't dance or sing, is this why I was cast? Or is that just my depression and lack of self worth making me paranoid? In any case, I did receive a Props credit in the program.
Making these props gave me a purpose- something to focus upon. I've been spending my days mostly lying in bed, staring at the ceiling- paralyzed by depression and feelings of uselessness. Some of the props took quite some time to make. In fact, one of the people in charge started doubting my ability to finish the pieces in time. I told her I would have them on time, and I did.
In any case, as the play has begun, here are the pieces.
To start with, I am in a play: A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum. In this comedy, I play a courtesan named Tintinabula. I have no lines, but I have a solo dance.
Those who have seen me dance know why it's a comedy.
In costume
Actually, the play is extremely funny, and cast is amazing. I'll be sorry when it ends. Being a part of this gives a sense of belonging.
I'm back being unemployed. I was offered a position, but, for reasons of my own, I turned it down. It seemed like a "high drama" zone- and I don't need any more drama.
In any case, that has given me plenty of time. When I was in Dracula in January, I made a few props for the play. The director of Forum was the makeup artist for Dracula, so she knew I did that. She asked me to do a prop or two for this play as well. I ended up doing almost all of the props. As I can't dance or sing, is this why I was cast? Or is that just my depression and lack of self worth making me paranoid? In any case, I did receive a Props credit in the program.
Making these props gave me a purpose- something to focus upon. I've been spending my days mostly lying in bed, staring at the ceiling- paralyzed by depression and feelings of uselessness. Some of the props took quite some time to make. In fact, one of the people in charge started doubting my ability to finish the pieces in time. I told her I would have them on time, and I did.
In any case, as the play has begun, here are the pieces.
Formula 409 bottle in Latin
Contract (unfolded version)
Poster for gladiator fights: Maximus vs. Leonadis
Potions for Dummies in Latin
Back. That's the first lines of the Hobbit in Latin
Interior
Mad Dog 20/20 in Latin
Colt 45 in Latin
"Wooden" jeweled goblet
7up in Latin
Domina bust
Domina without nose
Rolled version of contract- it never gets unrolled.
In any case, they allowed me some time to be creative. During this time, I also painted a miniature for the first time since 2003 (which is when Games Workshop and I parted ways.) I painted it for a friend, because the one she had (painted by someone else) was just... horrible. Painted with house paint. I knew that, even out of practice, I could do better. Humble-brag- I think I did,
She chose the color scheme
So now all that is done, now what?
I guess I could paint some of the old miniatures I've had for decades. Sell them for money. Or just go back to lying in bed.
In any case, random thoughts from this month:
More times than not, I cry myself to sleep.
I saw Wife and Daughter for Father's Day. We went to dinner locally, along with Linda.
I still have no idea how I'm going to pay for school.
When I look in the mirror, I want to break it or throw up. I still see a guy looking back at me.
I still believe that I will not survive the Trump regime- that I'll be killed. Nothing has happened to change my opinion.
I whine too much.
I'm going to bed.
Wow I didn't realize you did so many props, they look fantastic! (As does the miniature! A thousand times better than any miniature I ever painted!) But depression creates as huge amount of inertia, so anything you can do to keep moving and even do something tangible and creative is huge. Don't be afraid to give yourself credit for that...doing all this while suffering from depression is quite an achievement!
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