I know that we all have reoccuring dreams, whether we remember them or not. I had this dream countless times in college and just after. I'm guessing I was afraid that I was sliding into alcoholism. Well, I was in a way- I was self-destructive and hoping to die before anyone learned my "dark secret."
I kept drinking heavily until 2012, when I was arrested for DUI. I realized how lucky I was not to have hurt anyone all those years, and cut back considerably. I learned later that many people considered me "a drunk." They weren't wrong.
I still have reoccuring dreams. Most of them center around a grotesque version of Penn State, which is maybe ten times larger and the buildings are cramped together on the outer parts of campus, like in a dystopian movie. I know this "campus" so well, that I can even diagram it in waking hours. In those dreams, there is always a class I haven't attended, work I haven't done, or somewhere I need to be. My fraternity house is also much bigger, and populated by not just the guys who were there when I was (still at that age) but many others I don't know. And all of them hate me.
Yes, I know Freud would have a field day with me.
So now the into is longer than the chapter. Go figure.
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I kept drinking heavily until 2012, when I was arrested for DUI. I realized how lucky I was not to have hurt anyone all those years, and cut back considerably. I learned later that many people considered me "a drunk." They weren't wrong.
I still have reoccuring dreams. Most of them center around a grotesque version of Penn State, which is maybe ten times larger and the buildings are cramped together on the outer parts of campus, like in a dystopian movie. I know this "campus" so well, that I can even diagram it in waking hours. In those dreams, there is always a class I haven't attended, work I haven't done, or somewhere I need to be. My fraternity house is also much bigger, and populated by not just the guys who were there when I was (still at that age) but many others I don't know. And all of them hate me.
Yes, I know Freud would have a field day with me.
So now the into is longer than the chapter. Go figure.
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Chapter 48: Dream Dream
Monday, February 16, 1987 US nearly blundered at summit, report says
It
happens so many times. The reoccurring
dream.
The sky is a blank
white, and the sound of the waves is a little strange. The pale yellow foaming ocean swells push me
up and down and I’m so tired I can’t swim.
It is a sea of beer. I’m so
tired. As I sink, my lungs fill with
beer. I can taste it’s slightly bitter
flavor as I drown. Drown in a sea of
cheap yellow beer.
And as I drown…
I’m smiling.
Collegian, Feb 16, 1987. I did the guy a favor and redacted his last name. I hope he's grown up since.
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