There's an old saying: "Once is an accident- twice is a decision."
So once again, I did something despicable. Why? I was desperately lonely. And so was she. I played right into her plan. Thing is, I knew there would be consequences. I just didn't care that night.
So began my second semester at PSU. In many ways, it was a great time. All it cost was my honor, and my self respect.
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So once again, I did something despicable. Why? I was desperately lonely. And so was she. I played right into her plan. Thing is, I knew there would be consequences. I just didn't care that night.
So began my second semester at PSU. In many ways, it was a great time. All it cost was my honor, and my self respect.
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Chapter 2.37: Cold Night
Saturday, January 10, 1987 Memo Links Iran Deal, Hostages
We
lay on the couch together in the dim light.
Outside, the snow fell and the wind whistled between the buildings. And we huddled on the couch holding each
other. We had the one lamp on its lowest
setting, and the radio was on, but the volume was low. 97 QWIK rock.
“Everybody have fun tonight! Everybody Wang Chung tonight.”
What
the fuck was I doing?
She
was dressed in a long Kelly green knit sweater dress. Very soft.
Her perfume was light and delicate as a snowflake outside, and I could
feel her breasts press gently against my chest as she breathed. Together we were warm.
Christmas
break was over. I came back home to PSU
that day, escaping the hell of life with my family. My roommates would be back in a day or
two. Her roommate would be back
tomorrow, weather permitting.
Funny
how after only a few months I saw Penn
State as home.
Break
was over. The Nittany Lions were
National Champions. My second semester
loomed- and I had to do better than the first.
1.8. My God. Guess I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was.
She
nuzzled my neck gently.
“Mmmm. You’re so warm” she almost whispered.
“So
are you.”
We
lay there silently for a few more minutes, and then
she started slowly, gently caressing my back.
“Can’t you
hear, can’t you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover.”
I invited her over
because I knew she was back, and I wanted to see her. And I was bored. We started the evening eating Domino’s pizza
and playing cards. Rummy, War, Snap,
whatever. We had no beer so we couldn’t
play drinking games. Just soda. So we drank that. As the night grew darker, colder, we decided
just to lie around and talk: me on the loveseat and her stretched out on the
couch.
Lounged around for
a few minutes, talking about break. What
it meant. What we wanted for the next
semester. Then she commented about how cold
it was, and she invited me to join her on her couch. After all- it was OK: it’s not like anything
would happen. We’d talked about
that.
So I did.
A few minutes of
silence later, she asked me to turn down the lights a bit so she could watch
the snow fall outside. So I did.
I was really
clueless.
“Take my hand and we'll make it I sweah-uh! Wuh-OH! Livin' on a pray-uh!”
So there we were
lying on the couch, and she’s caressing my back and it feels really good
(especially after helping people on the floor unload their shit all day. I was too fucking nice for my own good.)
“How does that make
you feel?” she half-whispered into my ear.
“Feels great!”
“I’m sure it does,
but how does it make you feel?”
Did I mention I
was incredibly clueless?
“Relaxed.”
“You might think
I'm crazy, but I don't even care.
Because I can tell what's going on.
It's hip to be square.” No, it’s not, Huey.
Of course, lying
on the couch with this girl; her ample breasts pressed against me; she’s
caressing my back; her breath in my neck and ear, I mean- DUH! I was getting really excited. And she had to know.
Time to say
something stupid, Lance.
“I’d rub your
back, but you probably wouldn’t feel it through that thick material.”
“No one said it
had to stay on.”
I rolled off the
couch and stood up. She sat up and
looked at me with a kind of half smile, head cocked slightly to the right.
“If we do this,
then no one can know” I said quietly, nervously.
“Fine.” She pulled the dress out from under her, and
I helped her pull it off over her head.
It was very heavy.
“Now you have to
keep me warm” she said, smiling. All she
was wearing was a shimmering white satin bra that cupped her beautiful breasts
perfectly, and skimpy white panties.
She’d kicked off her boots a long time ago. Sure I’d seen her breasts before, but
presentation is everything! Hypnotic!
She laid back
down, and I next to her. We kissed
deeply. And I caressed her back.
“Take these broken wings And learn to fly
again And learn to live so free.”
Several songs
later, we were in my bedroom, and she was pulling off the last of my
clothes. We fell into the cold bed and
scrambled under the covers.
We rolled around
for a minute of so, kissing greedily, then I rolled on top, she wrapped her
legs around me, and I entered her.
The radio was
still playing in the other room, but we couldn’t hear it through the closed
door. The snow and wind stroked the
window next to the bed. Couldn’t hear
it. All I could hear was her gasping and
breathing, and the sound of our motion on the bed.
Then she gasped
out
“Oh…God… I love
you!…. I love you!”
I stopped. “What did you say?”
She opened her
eyes. “Nothing. Nothing.
Don’t stop.”
So I did. But not for long. I was still fairly, um, inexperienced.
Soon we were
holding each other, listening to the wind and the snow. Then she got up to go to the bathroom,
picking up her panties as she went. I
put my underwear back on and went out to the living room to gather her
clothes.
We met at my
bedroom door, me carrying her dress.
“I don’t think
green is your color,” she said, smiling.
“Maybe I wanted to
be a little bold- y’know, try something different.”
“You don’t have
the legs for it.”
We went back to
bed and cuddled under the covers for a while, listening to the snow and
wind. Then, she looked at my clock,
kissed me, rolled out of bed and got dressed.
So did I.
I walked Virginia home through
the thickening snow. We didn’t
talk. Too cold. At her apartment door, she turned to me and
smiled. Her eyes were clear- happy-
dancing. I’d never seen her happy
before. She kissed me lightly on the
lips.
“Night” she whispered,
then went inside.
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