Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Men of the Skull Chapter 10: Quag Monster

I thought and thought about whether or not to post this chapter.  It isn't nice at all, and serves no purpose.  I wrote it out of a sense of completeness, really.  If the book ever sees publication, this chapter would be cut, as it serves no purpose.  I'm not proud of having written it- what does it say about who I was when I wrote it?

It said that I hated myself, and hated people like her-  this woman never even spoke to me.  She looked at me as I was completely unworthy of female attention.  She would sleep with everyone in the House except me.  I doubt she even cared to know my name.

At PSU in summer 2008, as I was finishing the book

I understand why, now.  I wasn't a guy to her.  Many women saw through my "facade" of manhood. "I don't see you that way."  "I don't think of you as a guy- you're one of the girls."  But, when I wrote this chapter, I was still deep in denial.

This person exists. And she wasn't the only one like her.  Looking back, I think she was very insecure, and needed to feel love in some way.  Or not.  Maybe she was just enjoying yourself, and that's fine.  It was her life, and it was the 80s after all.


Chapter 2.10: Quag monster
Thursday, September 25, 1986  Informer: Mob had Testa killed for slaying of Bruno
            She was a hot girl, well she had been hotter once that’s for sure.  She looked worn out- overused.  Her eyes looked old.  She had short blond hair which she poofed as high as it would go all around, and always wore fashionably tight-ish clothes- always the right shoes.  If you caught her early in the night, she was impeccable dressed and coiffed.  However, late in the night she looked rumpled and fucked hard.
            She was the Quag Monster.
            The Quag was the name for the area around the boilers and water heater.  There were sofas there- old and musty.  The Quag Monster was well known for blowing or fucking almost every brother back there.  She loved her cocaine back in that damp cellar room.  She paid for it there as well.
            I know she was in a sorority, but I forget which.  Perhaps Tri Delt?  That didn’t matter.  She was also a Skull Little Sister and she was many guys ideal of what a little sister should be.  She sucked and fucked and went away.
            Me?  I don’t think she even knew my name.  She never even spoke to me.  That’s ok- I knew her name: she was Quag Monster now and forever.

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