I attended a birthday party last Wednesday night. It was a birthday for the boyfriend of someone I used to work with at the bookstore. I was the oldest person there by far at 51. The next youngest person was the birthday boy, who turned 42. Everyone else was in their 20s or very early 30s.
The host was a fellow Penn Stater who I met an on a few previous occasions, and he also invited another Penn Stater who used to be his roommate. Also present was a woman who graduated from Goucher College in Towson, Maryland. My friend who graduated from University of Alabama (who is very proud of it) and a couple other people. It was a fun night, and quickly the discussion turned to colleges and drinking games.
Now when I was in college, I knew a lot of drinking games. In fact, I used to say I was a walking Encyclopedia of drinking games. I knew them all.
Talk about a useless skill.
However, they were talking about a game that I'd heard of many times. I know it's extremely popular now, but I had never played it- in fact I didn't know the rules: Kings.
As it turns out, Kings isn't too much different from a game that I knew in college called Ace Face. The similarities are that each card means something- each card makes everyone or someone do something- usually drink. I asked the Goucher Grad if she could teach it to me. She was drinking water, so we decided that we will play the game, but we would not drink. Well, we would all drink water or whatever, and I was fine with that. After all, I was driving.
And so she taught me Kings. There were four of us at the table; all women. Again, I was by far the oldest. I don't think any other woman was past 32. We had a good time of it, and I learned the rules fairly quickly. Little rules like "the little green man" that I've never heard of, as well as other rules that I was quite familiar with, such as "Questions" and that sort of thing. In fact, they were rather surprised that I knew "Questions" so well.
Well, it was a game we played back in the day.
And so I have learned another drinking game. So what? Aren't I a little old for that? Well, it made me think of times long past (as most things often do nowadays.) In this case, in college and for many years after, the only time that I was happy drinking was when I was playing drinking games.
I love drinking games. The idea of drinking, getting drunk, but also showing my superiority- my manhood- in defeating others in a game simply by outlasting them (because I could drink more than them.) It stoked my ego, what little I had of one. It showed me that I was a Man.
Yeah, we know how all that turned out.
After she showed me Kings, I told her about Ace Face, which apparently is completely unknown to people of this era. I know the games right now are Kings and Beirut (which is also known as Beer pong.) We used to play Ace Face. We used to play a lot of Thumper, Up the river Down the river; Quarters was a major one. All kinds of games. 3 man was major as well.
So I taught Ace face, again with water, and, as it stood, if we have been playing with alcohol I would have been crushed! Ace face is a type of poker game. I drew a 5 Card flush. Why can't I do that when I'm playing for money? It's funny- the only times I've ever drawn natural straight flushes in a seven card hand was it at Ace face, and I've done it twice. (In Ace face the winning hand loses and drinks very substantially.)
We followed up with another card game called "that's what she said" which is essentially a rip-off of Cards Against Humanity.
It turns out two people with the the party have been laid off from their jobs within the past couple days. I thought about how things have changed so much (aside from transition) and how even if I WANTED to play drinking games like I used to, there's no way my body could handle it anymore. I just don't like drinking now, because it doesn't make me feel good like it used to. The Hangover afterward is just horrible! I could have one drink these days and have a hangover. In any case, I'm also not used to drinking in a group setting. It's easier with just me, or just me and Linda, and that's all.
Also being in the presence of so many younger people, I felt a LOT out of place. I was 20 to 30 years older than some of them, and I felt a little awkward. Not only were all these people cisgender and single, but they were half my age- sometimes more. That sort of thing shouldn't bother me, I know, but it did- because after all, I'm a human being. I was actually a lot more Awkward about being older than everyone else then I was about being the only transperson in the room. There were two people in that room tonight whom I've never met, and I'm wondering if either of them clocked me.
As I said before, so much has changed in my life. So many things that I was able to do before I can't now. Twenty years ago, I could still drink a ton. Twenty years from now will I even still be alive? I don't know. If I could predict the future would I be in the lousy situation I am today?
As I was leaving, the Goucher woman said that she would love to play games with me someday when we were drinking, and I smiled. I said "that would be wonderful. Maybe then I can teach you other games that we played back in the 80s." She looked at me with this strange look, and I thought about it.
That would be like someone telling me during my college days that they wanted to teach me drinking games from the 1950s or even the 1940s. It's that far long ago now. I'm a relic to them- a museum piece.
This is why I rarely go to parties now.
I overthink everything. I figure everyone else sees weaknesses and failures, and that they look at me as "why is that OLD person here?" It would be like me attending an apartment party at Penn State now. It would be creepy for the students.
Yes, I've gotten old and lame. I've aged out of partying.
Be well.
The host was a fellow Penn Stater who I met an on a few previous occasions, and he also invited another Penn Stater who used to be his roommate. Also present was a woman who graduated from Goucher College in Towson, Maryland. My friend who graduated from University of Alabama (who is very proud of it) and a couple other people. It was a fun night, and quickly the discussion turned to colleges and drinking games.
Now when I was in college, I knew a lot of drinking games. In fact, I used to say I was a walking Encyclopedia of drinking games. I knew them all.
Talk about a useless skill.
However, they were talking about a game that I'd heard of many times. I know it's extremely popular now, but I had never played it- in fact I didn't know the rules: Kings.
As it turns out, Kings isn't too much different from a game that I knew in college called Ace Face. The similarities are that each card means something- each card makes everyone or someone do something- usually drink. I asked the Goucher Grad if she could teach it to me. She was drinking water, so we decided that we will play the game, but we would not drink. Well, we would all drink water or whatever, and I was fine with that. After all, I was driving.
And so she taught me Kings. There were four of us at the table; all women. Again, I was by far the oldest. I don't think any other woman was past 32. We had a good time of it, and I learned the rules fairly quickly. Little rules like "the little green man" that I've never heard of, as well as other rules that I was quite familiar with, such as "Questions" and that sort of thing. In fact, they were rather surprised that I knew "Questions" so well.
Well, it was a game we played back in the day.
And so I have learned another drinking game. So what? Aren't I a little old for that? Well, it made me think of times long past (as most things often do nowadays.) In this case, in college and for many years after, the only time that I was happy drinking was when I was playing drinking games.
I love drinking games. The idea of drinking, getting drunk, but also showing my superiority- my manhood- in defeating others in a game simply by outlasting them (because I could drink more than them.) It stoked my ego, what little I had of one. It showed me that I was a Man.
Macho... at the party
Yeah, we know how all that turned out.
After she showed me Kings, I told her about Ace Face, which apparently is completely unknown to people of this era. I know the games right now are Kings and Beirut (which is also known as Beer pong.) We used to play Ace Face. We used to play a lot of Thumper, Up the river Down the river; Quarters was a major one. All kinds of games. 3 man was major as well.
So I taught Ace face, again with water, and, as it stood, if we have been playing with alcohol I would have been crushed! Ace face is a type of poker game. I drew a 5 Card flush. Why can't I do that when I'm playing for money? It's funny- the only times I've ever drawn natural straight flushes in a seven card hand was it at Ace face, and I've done it twice. (In Ace face the winning hand loses and drinks very substantially.)
We followed up with another card game called "that's what she said" which is essentially a rip-off of Cards Against Humanity.
It turns out two people with the the party have been laid off from their jobs within the past couple days. I thought about how things have changed so much (aside from transition) and how even if I WANTED to play drinking games like I used to, there's no way my body could handle it anymore. I just don't like drinking now, because it doesn't make me feel good like it used to. The Hangover afterward is just horrible! I could have one drink these days and have a hangover. In any case, I'm also not used to drinking in a group setting. It's easier with just me, or just me and Linda, and that's all.
Also being in the presence of so many younger people, I felt a LOT out of place. I was 20 to 30 years older than some of them, and I felt a little awkward. Not only were all these people cisgender and single, but they were half my age- sometimes more. That sort of thing shouldn't bother me, I know, but it did- because after all, I'm a human being. I was actually a lot more Awkward about being older than everyone else then I was about being the only transperson in the room. There were two people in that room tonight whom I've never met, and I'm wondering if either of them clocked me.
As I said before, so much has changed in my life. So many things that I was able to do before I can't now. Twenty years ago, I could still drink a ton. Twenty years from now will I even still be alive? I don't know. If I could predict the future would I be in the lousy situation I am today?
As I was leaving, the Goucher woman said that she would love to play games with me someday when we were drinking, and I smiled. I said "that would be wonderful. Maybe then I can teach you other games that we played back in the 80s." She looked at me with this strange look, and I thought about it.
Swell party!
That would be like someone telling me during my college days that they wanted to teach me drinking games from the 1950s or even the 1940s. It's that far long ago now. I'm a relic to them- a museum piece.
This is why I rarely go to parties now.
I overthink everything. I figure everyone else sees weaknesses and failures, and that they look at me as "why is that OLD person here?" It would be like me attending an apartment party at Penn State now. It would be creepy for the students.
Yes, I've gotten old and lame. I've aged out of partying.
Be well.
I had no idea you were thinking these things?? It was wonderful spending time with you party or not! Time for me to reexamine my powers of perception. I was just glad to see you and definitely don't think of you as old. You take an interest in people and have a curiosity that is refreshing and perhaps rare now that I think of it. You have not gotten old or lame in my book. But what do I know, I can't even finish writing my book. ;)
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