Wednesday, October 14, 2015


(The following started as a message to someone who works in my company.  The discussion began online (as things like this often do) when I revealed on Facialbook, in a closed group of employees  that I was amused that I sold a member card to a man who never made eye contact with me- only my breasts.  My original post follows, then, the bit which is a much expanded form of the message I sent to a woman who felt that what I did was maybe in poor taste, if not judgement.

Original post:
"Ok, I hope this isn't too... risque.

Today I wore my VS "Bombshell" bra to work. It give me a little more, um, shape. And...
I sold 4 member cards today. Not bad. But one of the men buying a member's card never looked up into my face. He stared at my chest the whole time. So I guess I can say my decolletage sold a member card today!"

Me in the Dress I was wearing that day

Now the rest:

I am a 49 year old woman of trans experience.  That means that for most of my life, I pretended to be a male.  And not just any male: top of the heap- cock of the walk... a White, Christian male.

I know male privilege first hand.  I've lived it.  And when I transitioned, I became not only a second class human being (female) but worse:  a Transperson.  A "freak."  "An abomination in the eyes of God."  And believe me, the world reminds me of it every single day.

Am I a freak, etc?  No.  I am what God made me: Trans.  I am a Woman.

Are women second class citizens?  Shall I point to pay statistics or to the fact that old white men want to legislate their vaginas?  Or about the "glass ceiling?"  Dear reader, I can go on alllll night on this one.


Now, do I care that a man looks at my breasts?  At this point, not really.  Men will look.  It's what they do.  And, to be blunt, my having breasts is still new enough (and a dream come true) as to be a novelty.  That said, seeing the equation from both sides, I understand the Power of Breasts.  Shall I, as a retail drone, not use any advantage I have?

I admit that I am still inexperienced at being a full time woman.  I've only been one for about 19 months.  So if you think how I am conducting myself is wrong, I am willing to listen to your argument.

Entitlement.  It's a fact of life.  Where I live, there are some VERY rich people.  They call it the Main Line: some of the richest areas; oldest money in the US.  Do some of these people earn their money?  Of course.  Doctors abound in this area.  But FAR more were born into the wealth.  To quote Will Rogers, "They were born on third base and think they hit a triple."  If you want examples of this sort of person, I give you Donald Trump, every living member of the Bush dynasty, Mitt Romney, every living Kennedy... you get the idea.  And while some are very good people- very generous and open, so many more look down upon people who are NOT in their social class.

And that class is Predominantly Rich, white, christian males.

Their entitlement is their birthright.

The owner of this car is African American.  So my argument isn't an absolute.

Is there anything anyone can do about this?  Perhaps not.  Money talks, after all.  At times it looks like the gulf between the "haves" and the "have nots" is so deep that only something akin to the French Revolution would resolve it.  Madame guillotine,  But would that really solve it?  Pete Townshend said it best:  "Meet the new boss.  Same as the old boss."

Is this to say that we, as people, shouldn't try for positive change?  Hell no!  We must try.  I fight every day in my own way to advance the cause of Trans equality... of social equality...  Justice.

Will I see it in my lifetime?  Who knows?  How many of the marchers for racial equality in Selma lived to see an African American elected president?  How many survivors of the Stonewall riot saw Marriage Equality become the law of the land?

It CAN happen... all we need to do is WANT it, and WORK for it.  Each in our small way.  Everyday.

*jumps off soapbox*

Be well!


  1. Sophie -

    Yes, Madame Defarge's knitting only served to replace the people in the elite. But that might have been a blessing to France, as the revolution will always remind France's elite of their responsibility to govern responsibly, lest another revolution takes them out.

    Too bad our elites have never sensed that risk. It's be nice to see Dr. Guillotine's invention in use to clean up the elite garbage who've ignored the needs of the "99%".....


  2. Thanks for your comments. I think I will crank it up and listen to The Who this afternoon!!!

  3. Dana, my partner has seen both sides of the privilege equation as well. Running a successful business as a woman is a lot harder than it was when she was a male. Interesting post... !