Sunday, March 8, 2015

Questions Cis People Ask

Ok, all of these are actual questions I've received, mostly by private messages on Facialbook.  Some were asked in person.

I've saved them all for times like this when the topic I want to write about would be too incendiary (GOP bathroom bills popping up everywhere) so I need to re-write it in such a way that has no foul language or direct accusations as to the penis sizes of GOP politicians (because all but one are men.)  Or at least a lot less.

So.  The actual questions are in italics, and are direct quotes.  My answers here may or may not have been the answer they received at that time.

Remember, you can always send me questions to me at  Usually I answer just on email, but if the question stirs me or is particularly thought provoking, I may ask permission to use it here, giving you all the credit you want!

At Work, March 2015

So why did you destroy your daughter's life just to wear a dress?  (This from a twice divorced father of 3, all by different women.)

This is a two part answer.  First off, I didn't destroy her life, even though sometimes I wonder.  Many children have to endure divorces, and, while we are not yet divorcing, Wife and I do live apart.  Wife has made it clear she wants me very involved in my daughter's life, and I want to take a very active hand in her upbringing.  I tell her how much I love her every time I see her.  Compare this to parents who use their children as weapons in a divorce.  

Part 2 is that I didn't do this "just to wear a dress."  While I love wearing dresses, I don't do so very often.  Being TG goes FAR deeper than that.  Which leads to the next question...

Why not just man up and live with the so called pain?  (from a tea-bagger)

I tolerated the pain for 47 years before finally breaking free from it.  I can't describe how badly it hurts.  Then multiply that pain by all those years hiding it, and all the anger and frustration.  Actually, a friend of mine posted the following on Facialbook today, and it fits perfectly.

Now let's take that full glass of water and hold it straight out for YEARS, and when someone asks about the glass, you vehemently deny it even exists... perhaps (as in my case) even to yourself.  And you don't dare spill even a drop, lest someone guess that you are indeed holding that glass of water.

That's an overly simplistic explanation, but there it is.

So what's it like having [breasts]?  (drinking buddy of many years)

Well, it's like this.  Most of the time I don't feel them.  They're just there... kind of of like the penis most of the time.  I wear good support bras so they don't bounce so much, so there it is.  Now, that said, when I DO feel them... well, grab your bicep (unflexed).  That's how it feels- just a mass of tissue, except they hang on my chest and my arms occasionally bump into them.  Are they sensitive?  Well the difference in sensation between the male chest and the female breast... it's like a whisper to a Scream.  It's amazing how different how it feels.  I love my boobs.

Can I touch them?  (same drinking buddy)

Hell no.  Grow your own.

Can I touch them?  (inebriated female friend)

Can I touch yours?  No?  Ok then.

Are you and Linda Lewis dating?  (several people have asked this)

Linda on a road trip to Richmond

No.  I am married.  Linda and I are very close, as we are roomies.  She is, aside from my wife, my best friend and co-conspirator.  We learn a lot from each other.  She's an amazing person and I thank God for her friendship.

Are you dating [fill in the blank]?  (I get this one a lot)

As I said, I'm married.  And I'm fairly sure that after the marriage ends, I'll be alone the rest of my life.  Sucks, but that's the way it is.

Are you still suicidal?  (Occasionally I get this)

No.  Ok, I admit I think of it sometimes, but I think about my Daughter... and I think about the wreckage Lisa Empanada left behind when she killed herself... no I couldn't do that to my loved ones- especially my daughter.  You're stuck with me.

Why do you post so much about politics?  (usually asked by right wingers, but not always)

If I don't speak out against EVIL, who will?  I see the current GOP as Evil.  All they do is hate everyone that isn't a white WASP male.  And they are doing their best to hurt me and mine.  I have yet to be proven wrong on this, but wish I could be.

Are you going to post more fiction on Fictionmania or other story sites?  (a couple of people)

Yes.  I'm working on something now.

What does your Wife think about all this?  (many old friends)

She has been as supportive as she can be, but she hates it, and I don't blame her.  She's been far more understanding than I could dream of.  To those who know her personally, I encourage them to contact her as she can speak for herself.  Eloquently.  She's an amazing woman, which is why I married her.  She definitely didn't deserve all this.

Will you be at Keystone 2015?  (Lots of people, mostly local trans people)

Yes, and I will be presenting again.  My presentation will be Thursday at 2 PM.  My topic is Writing TG Topics as Therapy, and the brief goes like this:  "Can writing really be a release? Find out in this fun, cooperative seminar with published author Sophie Lynne! Together we will learn about simple writing tools that can unleash your emotions and help you express them on paper."

You never know who will be at this seminar!  Several of the people I write about in this Blog attend, as do some of my Vanity Club sisters, and hopefully YOU!  Always room for more!  

Keystone 2014

Will I be able to talk to you at Keystone?  (believe it or not, I get this question)

Yes, for a fee.  Just kidding.  I am just a chick with a blog- I'm no one special.  If you want to say hi or sit down and talk, I'd love to see you!  Especially if you're buying!  (hee hee)

Ok that's it for this edition of Q&A with Sophie.  I'll do it again someday.  Hope to see you at Keystone, and maybe I'll edit the other entry to make it less vitriolic.  Or maybe I won't.

Be well.


  1. Well, I don't know about Cis people, but I learned a couple things. :-) Looking forward to seeing you next week!

  2. Response to #9, your answer being, "If I don't speak out against EVIL, who will? I see the current GOP as Evil. All they do is hate everyone that isn't a white WASP male. And they are doing their best to hurt me and mine. I have yet to be proven wrong on this, but wish I could be."

    I'm sorry to inform you, you are 100% WRONG on this - because you believe Democrats are any different! Both wish to control and micro-manage you, they differ only in HOW you shall be constrained - and they use each other to divert attention from the fact its the same beast, either party - they are two heads of the same animal.

    We'd be better off if government would leave the people ALONE to pursue their own lives, but too many people want law" - which can just a easily be turned against "you" (the metaphoric you, whomever is reading. Examples would be euthanasia, abortion, gun rights, universal franchise, income tax, social security numbers, etc, etc, etc. the list is endless, and "which side" you're on is immaterial. It's never a question of IF laws will be abused and mis-used; it is a question of WHEN and HOW. Marriage would be a prime example: Allowing the state into marriage has ensured immoral divorce laws, because the state is the third party - and superior to those who actually engage in the contract. Note that same- or opposite-sex marriage is irrelevant here; the STATE is supreme. As in all things: the state s the sanctioned employer of violence.... And it uses that violence against us, as visible in Occupy, Ferguson, and the list of articles on Cop Block...

    As for the rest... you look great, I still don't get the breasts (Mine are there, but... Not on hormone you can draw your on conclusions on how fun they are right now...)

    Americans need a non-socialist, non-communist, viable alternative to The Big Two.
    Someone who won't stick their nose into our hormones... Or our finances, nutrition, etc.... (I know it's trackable, Google has turned into the evil it was supposed t fight... But if I can keep vanity searches from turning up my name...? I'm not out! :-P )