A Month Ago Now.

One month ago, my life irrevocably changed.

One Month ago, right now, my sister Lisa Empanada was ending her life.

I can't believe it's been a month. I still expect a goofy text from her, or a call to tell me of a wonderful event in her life.

 

Secrets with my Sister, August 2012

 She once told me that she felt people would simply get over her suicide and get on with their lives.

I wish she were here to see how wrong she was. I wish she knew how many people loved her. I wish I could hear her groan at one of my bad puns.

Above all, I wish she were here at Sandra Newell's side, where she belongs.

But wishing will not bring her back to us. Nothing ever will. And so we grieve.

Someday I will be able to remember the short time we spent together fondly, and not cry when I think of her. Someday I will be able to smile and welcome others into my life as she once welcomed me into hers.

But today... today I need to find Strength. I need to be strong. I need to be strong for Sandy and her family. And for others who, like me, are fighting the Darkness that claimed Lisa.

And in that Strength, seek Hope.

 

Through Hope, find Healing.

 

And through Healing, someday, find Happiness.