Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Ruby Tuesdays on a Thursday

As my loyal 57 know (yes, there are now FIFTY SEVEN of you!) I've been in therapy for years. 

Part of this sort of therapy is group therapy.  As such I belong to a group.  (I also attend a non- medical Trans support group:  Renaissance.)

The idea is to meet with people who have the same issues I do, and discuss them openly.  I'm very fortunate that our group has a great cross-section of different people.  I've learned so much from them.

In any case, a member of our group is moving away to North Carolina- sailing into retirement.  I'll call her "K."

K is a wonderful, caring person who is very open with support and shares her considerable wisdom with the group.  We will all miss her.

Usually after the group session, a few of us go to a local restaurant, usually Ruby Tuesdays to socialize.

As I usually attend coming directly from work (and always late as the meeting begins the exact minute I finish at my second job), I am always in drab.  Usually most people are presenting as female. 

So with K leaving, everyone decided (via various modes of communication) to take her out for one last night.  K had never seen me en femme, and I really wanted her to see my True Self.  So I left work an hour early and parked behind the building where we meet.  There I changed and did my makeup.

Ever done makeup in a dark car using only your interior light and the rear view mirror?  Well this was my first time.

I did my makeup in 40 minutes.  Yes, I was flying and skipping steps... and it showed.  Oh well.

At Ruby Tuesdays in Forgiving Lighting

I walked into the meeting a few minutes late (as usual) but this time I was Sophie outside as well as in.  No one even missed a beat or blinked.  After all, it was just me.

The meeting went well, as we discussed the topic at hand (How do we see Gender, and where do we see ourselves on our paths.)  We had a new person this time ("M"), and a good turn out of our regulars.  That said, there were a couple unfortunate absences due to life events, and they were missed.

The group presented K with a commemorative plate with an Irish blessing.  K read it out loud, her voice choked with emotion.  A powerful moment for us all.

From there, we adjourned and eight of us went to the nearby Ruby Tuesdays.  As we've gone there many times, the staff were very welcoming.  We tend to get the same waiter, and he treats us as he would any group of people- with respect. That's so comforting.  He also remembered people's usual drink orders, which is a MAJOR plus.

We sat and ate and had drinks (I had two light drinks with food and water), laughed and had a great time.  I sat next to M and learned a lot about her.  Across from me was the person who'd been with the group the longest ("R"), and the conversation was wonderful.  M had lots of questions about the journey.  I answered some but deferred usually to R, as she's been on the path far longer than I have.

We toasted K and had a wonderful experience.  Too soon, I had to leave, as I needed to clean up and get home by a certain time.  By then most of us were ready to go as well so we all left together.  I said my goodbyes and hugged K.

As I cleaned off my makeup in the car, I saw K under one of the lights of the parking lot speaking with a few people.  She didn't want the night to end.  None of us did.  I watched as she hugged others goodbye, and drove off into the night.

In her car was the plate she received, a token of the love we have for her.  The plate which reads:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

K will be missed.  And the journey continues.  The beat goes on.



  1. ahhh the irish blessing. that is a great thing to have given her. mine would be more like "the road less traveled" (robert frost) LOL.
    oh and many's a time i did the "change and make up on the run" routeen. in fact it has only been since i came out to most that i know that i dress and makeup at home before heading out the door. in good light that makeup is only15-20 mins including mascara but... in poor car light it is a challenge at best and almost never would i attempt applying mascara in poor light for fear or poking myself in the eye.LOL in those days i knew what it was like for those high school kids that would do the quick change going to and from school. so that they could please both themselves and their parents LOL.
    anyway you look GREAT in spite of the quick change. i really like your hair in that photo. verrrry gg natural looking

  2. Doing dress and makeup in a tight dark car is always tough but many of us have done it and like they say "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." When I go out now and get all or mostly dressed and made up before heading out the door I always look in the mirror and touch up my lipstick, hair and makeup when I get to my destination.

    My 'mostly' quip above refers to those times when I need to leave the house but have to be concerned with being seen by neighbors. I dress and put on most of my base layers of makeup. Then I pull on some slacks and tuck my dress/skirt into my pants. Then I throw on my overcoat, replace my heels with my guy slip ons and then race to the car. Often as soon as I get out of the area and find a place to pull over I will ditch the slacks, doff the coat, pull out the wig and get into my heels. I may then also go for the next layer of makeup.


    1. pat i lived just as you described for a few years and i am glad to say these days it is a joy to be able to walk out the door as diana and not have to do the male layered over female attire to get passed the neighbors.

  3. So far in my journey, 90% of my dressing has been in my truck. I know all the empty lots in the area where I know I won't be harassed. So to those who are able to dress at home or at a designated place: Good for you! And yes, I am jealous!