I've written many times about how blog entries happen. I write a LOT, but only some of the things make it to the blog. That's because a LOT of what I write is too personal for public consumption- even for this blog.
However, lately I have some topics I'd like to explore, but I'm afraid to do it.
Why?
After all, what secrets could I still have? I revealed to the world that I'm transgender years ago. That's a mortal sin to so many. Being transgender cost me my career, my marriage, friends... almost everything. I've revealed my innermost thoughts, fears, triumphs, and heartaches in this blog. That's why this blog exists.
So what am I afraid of?
As my regular readers know, I am unemployed. I have been since February 13, 2018. At 9:06 AM. But who's counting? I'm living off my retirement savings. This means that I'm looking for a new job.
And everyone says "Scrub your social media!" "Corporations look at your social media before hiring!" "Erase everything!" "BLUE MEANIES!" "BENGHAZI!"
Sorry. Channeled the GOP there.
Ok, my social media is set for "friends only" and always has been. Besides, I don't use my legal name online (except linked in.) I use my nom de plume: Sophie Lynne. Unless they have super-ultra-can see everything-programs. Like the Illuminati use. ;)
Pretty sneaky, sis!
But then there's the blog. THIS blog. The only way to "scrub it" would be to take it down entirely. That's Nine and a Half Years of entries. That's my entire journey as Sophie: My thoughts, confusion, Pain as I struggled to come to grips with who I am.
So- shall I scrub this as well?
After all, I NEED a job. The money won't last forever, and I make no money writing this blog. (The advertising has yet to pay. I should ditch it.) Will the blog, with its rawness; its look inside my head- cost me a job?
Maybe it has already.
I mean after all, who would hire someone who needs to write to vent? Or who has had so many bouts with the Darkness?
Or who is over 50 and Transgender?
Well, so far, the answer has been NOBODY.
Five interviews- four rejections. The fifth just happened, so no answers there yet, as of this writing. I have high hopes for this one.
I'm trying to keep the tone of this entry light, but the fact that I'm being Judged scares me. There are things I want to write about, but I'm thinking that a prospective employer may frown upon them. I'm not even employed, and I'm worried what "the company" will say. How pathetic is that?
The thing is, I was employed by a bookstore for 14 years, and I NEVER mentioned them by name on social media. Ever. (Except on pages specifically devoted to that company.) Nor will I. I didn't think it would be good form. Year after I started this blog, I leaned that the company has a "social media policy" that I was following even though I didn't know it existed. As it was, I still caught hell for some of my posts by managers who read the blog. One even yelled at me on the sales floor- very unprofessional. That made me quite angry.
Doesn't matter now. That job is behind me.
But I'm still jumping at Shadows of corporate power.
Where is the line drawn?
Guess I'll find out, because the blog is NOT coming down. I've had several people tell me it Helps/Helped them. And that's enough reason for me to keep it posted and available.
I'll keep writing... and sending out resumes.
Be well.
However, lately I have some topics I'd like to explore, but I'm afraid to do it.
Why?
After all, what secrets could I still have? I revealed to the world that I'm transgender years ago. That's a mortal sin to so many. Being transgender cost me my career, my marriage, friends... almost everything. I've revealed my innermost thoughts, fears, triumphs, and heartaches in this blog. That's why this blog exists.
So what am I afraid of?
As my regular readers know, I am unemployed. I have been since February 13, 2018. At 9:06 AM. But who's counting? I'm living off my retirement savings. This means that I'm looking for a new job.
Hire Me!
And everyone says "Scrub your social media!" "Corporations look at your social media before hiring!" "Erase everything!" "BLUE MEANIES!" "BENGHAZI!"
Sorry. Channeled the GOP there.
Ok, my social media is set for "friends only" and always has been. Besides, I don't use my legal name online (except linked in.) I use my nom de plume: Sophie Lynne. Unless they have super-ultra-can see everything-programs. Like the Illuminati use. ;)
Pretty sneaky, sis!
But then there's the blog. THIS blog. The only way to "scrub it" would be to take it down entirely. That's Nine and a Half Years of entries. That's my entire journey as Sophie: My thoughts, confusion, Pain as I struggled to come to grips with who I am.
So- shall I scrub this as well?
Scrubbing Bubbles to the rescue!
Maybe it has already.
I mean after all, who would hire someone who needs to write to vent? Or who has had so many bouts with the Darkness?
Or who is over 50 and Transgender?
Well, so far, the answer has been NOBODY.
Five interviews- four rejections. The fifth just happened, so no answers there yet, as of this writing. I have high hopes for this one.
I'm trying to keep the tone of this entry light, but the fact that I'm being Judged scares me. There are things I want to write about, but I'm thinking that a prospective employer may frown upon them. I'm not even employed, and I'm worried what "the company" will say. How pathetic is that?
The thing is, I was employed by a bookstore for 14 years, and I NEVER mentioned them by name on social media. Ever. (Except on pages specifically devoted to that company.) Nor will I. I didn't think it would be good form. Year after I started this blog, I leaned that the company has a "social media policy" that I was following even though I didn't know it existed. As it was, I still caught hell for some of my posts by managers who read the blog. One even yelled at me on the sales floor- very unprofessional. That made me quite angry.
Doesn't matter now. That job is behind me.
But I'm still jumping at Shadows of corporate power.
Where is the line drawn?
Guess I'll find out, because the blog is NOT coming down. I've had several people tell me it Helps/Helped them. And that's enough reason for me to keep it posted and available.
I'll keep writing... and sending out resumes.
Be well.
Sophie -
ReplyDeleteSome comments, but none should affect you one way or another in getting a job - which I hope you get soon.
1. Your real last name has appeared in social media, and most of us who are regular readers of your posts simply file it away and forget it.
2. We know where you worked, as it's now a one of a kind big box store. I can't say whether you lost this job by being trans, but the firm is having major problems and you may have just been low hanging fruit.
3. Don't scrub the blog. You can't hide that you are trans, and this blog can only help you deal with life - as you need a place to vent.
4. A rule of thumb - each resume you send out has a 1 in 10 chance of getting a person's interest. Of these, 1 in 10 result in an interview. And 1 in 10 interviews result in a job. As long as you haven't been out of a job for more than a year, you still have a very good chance of landing that job. Just try to focus your search in the Philly area, and not in the distant suburbs.
5. You may have made some mistakes by mentioning your firm in your blog. But for the most part, you focused on your problems with jerks who wanted to convert you to being a straight male again, and not with business decisions at the employer. Any manager who had an axe to grind could not use your postings against you, as you never put the firm in a seriously bad light.
You have a lot to deal with, and as much as I'd like to make things easier for you - I can't. All I can do is try to cheer you up and hope that you find that job soon.
Good Luck
M
I know that the situation on your side of "The Pond" may be very different to ours here. I know it is very difficult for anyone over 50 to get any sort of job, and for any one who is trans it's also very difficulty so combine the two and it can't be good. I'm fortunate in being self employed, it does mean that I will have to carry on doing what I do for at least the next 6 until pension age,the income isn't great but at least it keeps me off the streets.
ReplyDeleteIs self employment for you a possibility?