Breasts: One Transwoman's Perspective

I've now had four different transwomen ask me to write about my breasts.  I've been reluctant to do so, as I don't want to write something cheap and sleazy (if you want to see how I handle "sleazy," check out my stories on Fictionmania.)  So, the challenge is to write about my breasts while maintaining some kind of class.

Right.  Human female breasts are also known as mammary glands.  I should probably start with a dissertation on what breasts are, how they function, how they develop, etc, but that would be extremely dull and pedantic.

What do you mean "that's nothing new?"

Grumble grumble.

http://www.thinkingpinkfoundation.org/anatomy-breast

For some people, Breasts are the symbol of womanhood.  People can see them from a distance, and guys... well, I'll come back to that.

Prosthetic boobs- Raven January 2013

Anyway.  I began HRT on December 10, 2012.  As with everyone, I started slow then increased my dosage under a doctor's supervision.  I noticed a tingling sensation, then itching of my nipple area after around a month.  Then, soon after, I noticed a thickening behind the nipple.  I remember my "Big Sister" Mel saying "you can stop now- after this it will be very hard to turn back."  I started wearing compression shirts under my work shirts.  Eventually, the shirts were no longer enough.  During this time, my chest would occasionally hurt or itch.  I'm told that this was my breasts growing.

My breasts grew steadily.  One night in May 2013, I went to Angela's Laptop Lounge.  I was still wearing breast forms at that time.  A friend of mine said that my breasts looked comically large.  I slipped under the table where we sat, and removed my forms.  I haven't worn them since, and sold both of my sets of breast forms on ebay some years ago.  I still have the famous "prosthetic" in storage.

First time without forms- just me

That night, I went back to my motel room (where I was changing back to my drab self) and, after stripping down to my panties, I looked in the full length mirror.  I still had on my wig and makeup.  It was the first time I saw a Woman looking back at me.  I cried tears of joy.  I had BREASTS!  They weren't forms or a prosthetic- they were me!

When I first started as Sophie, I knew what I Wanted to look like: big hips, long hair, and big boobs. And it was starting to happen.

Every month since beginning HRT, I have taken pictures of myself, chest up, to track my development.  I still do this today.  It's amazing to see how I've changed over time- not just the boobs, but also my face and skin.

Many women in my matrilineal line were "well-blessed" by Mother Nature.  Due to lucky genetics, so am I.  My breasts kept steadily growing.  Now, five years later, I am blessed with natural DD cup breasts.  Yes, I know how lucky I am.

Ok, I've been asked many times what it feels like to have breasts.  Well, often they feel like nothing at all.  Seriously.  They are simply a part of me and I don't notice them.  If they bounce, I notice them.  When I feel them (breast exam, etc) I feel the pressure of my hands.  The nipples are very sensitive, and, if I'm not wearing a bra, they rub against the fabric and can get irritated.  When my arms bump into them, it feels like they've hit a soft muscle.  Being hit there hurts, but nothing compared to a shot "down low."

When wearing a bra, I feel the underwire and the shoulder straps.  And after eight long hours, removing the bra feels soooooo good!  It's liberating! The underwire is gone, and the cool air caresses them...  Heaven!

Cotton bra.  November 2017 "development" picture

So, is there a difference in sensation between the male breast and the female breast?  Absolutely!  It's like comparing a Whisper to a Scream.  Seriously!

Still all of this are matters of mere fact.  How do I feel ABOUT them?

Well, for me, breasts are the symbol of womanhood (with hips right there behind.)  (Get it?)

I have always wanted breasts.  In my mind, growing up, breasts were the most feminine attribute (remember- this is all I could see about women.)  I was in 7th grade when many of my classmates started to undergo puberty- both male and female.  I saw the girls beginning to blossom into women, and I felt left behind.  I was a late bloomer as it was, and seeing them growing hips and breasts made me very depressed.  I knew that would never happen for me.

Girls take their puberty for granted so to speak.  It is their birthright- they become women.  It's simple biology.  Girls become women and boys become men. 

I didn't WANT to be a man.  I was female- I knew it, even if I dared not ever breathe a word of it. 

They left me behind. 

So many years later, while my life was crumbling around me, I took the steps I Knew in my heart I had to take. 

Now?  Now I have breasts- big ones.  They are literally a dream come true- as I often through my life dreamed of having them.  I wanted them so badly.   I still get a thrill looking down and seeing them there and knowing they are real.  I often go topless around the apartment (my roomie and bestie, Linda, is probably tired of seeing me flop flop around.)  I do this because for one, it's cooler and I sweat easily, and for two- I just love seeing them.

Is this why I prefer low cut tops?  Partly, yes.  But that's mostly to give a Very Feminine indicator- to show all that see that I am a Woman.  Does it work?  Not really- I'm still misgendered often at work.  On Saturday, I had a guy misgender me twice while he stared at my boobs.  Seriously??? 

Late November before a shift: feminine indicators

I've been working on this blog entry for a week.  I'm finding it hard to put my feelings into words.  Transition is a very emotional process- I'm finally on the path to becoming the woman I've always known I am.  To be lucky enough to have been blessed with that which I've wanted all my life... I really can't describe how happy I feel about it.  So few things in my life make me happy- bring me joy.  Having my breasts is one of them.

I hope this answers your questions, ladies.  I wish I could articulate it better. 

Be well.