On Wednesday November 8, I was pondering. I was thinking about writing a blog entry about a favorite picture someone took of me. I figured I could do maybe 500 words about it. Then I thought, "a picture is worth a thousand words." Hmmm. Could I write one thousand words about that picture? It would be a challenge. A challenge...
So I challenged two of my coworkers (both writers) and posted the following on facialbook:
A CHALLENGE:
For my writer friends:
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Prove it.
Using a picture OF you or one you've taken (new, old, whatever) tell the story of what is happening in that picture. The story may be fiction or non-fiction.
1000 words. Due next Wednesday, 5 pm.
Are you lame or are you game?
I'll post mine in my blog. Or you can post here. Whatever.
To date, six people have taken up the challenge. I can't wait to read the results!
As for mine, it follows the picture below. And no, this introduction did NOT count toward the thousand words. That would be cheating. As it stands, my piece is 1,422 words.
*****************************************************************
Saturday, October 29, 2011 was a snowy day. The snow had been predicted for days. It was going to be a massive storm: a “Nor’Easter,” they said. “Frankenstorm.” One to eight inches of snow predicted, maybe more.
In 2010, my costume for the Halloween party was “God’s gift to women.” I didn’t want people to suspect anything after going enfemme for two straight Halloweens.
Which left this party. In 2009, I hired Lorraine Anderson, a friend of a friend, to make me a costume. The costume was Mary Marvel, the comic book superhero, as she appeared in the 1940s. Lorraine made the costume, which I wore to the Henri David Ball that year. Lorrain has since become a very dear friend, and has made several costumes for me.
My plan was to surprise everyone by wearing the Mary Marvel costume to this party, and, hopefully, win the costume contest again. I was supplying the top prize- a $100 bottle of Crystal Skull Vodka. Supposedly filtered through diamonds. I wanted that bottle.
As I said, I planned this party extensively. I started planning in late September. Many people RSVPed- over forty if memory serves. I advertised it on my “guy” facialbook page. I called friends and emailed them. I invited a few of my trans friends, but I didn’t think they would come. After all, there was a trans event that same night.
One of my two jobs was as an Instructional Designer at Penn State Great Valley. In between assignments, I was teaching myself Photoshop. As practice, I made posters for the party- six in all.
Oh, I was so excited for this party! My plan was to go visit my dear friend Amanda Richards at True Colors Makeup Artistry in Bethlehem, Pa. On a normal day, that trip is usually an hour and a half one way. I would then stop at a comic book shop for a minute, just for the fun of it, then head to the party. Sometime during the night, I’d slip over to the trans event- Angela’s Laptop Lounge- for a few minutes. With over forty people attending, I wouldn’t be missed. I would then return to the party. My price for “doing a party” was that I get a bed for the night so I could drink a lot and not worry. This was before my DUI curbed my drinking. I dropped off my stereo, the bar, and the CDs the night before. M and Elizabeth would set everything up.
But as I said: Frankenstorm. People began saying “I’ll be there if…” I hoped that the storm would miss us, as so many had in the past.
But…
The snow started earlier than expected. It was a wet, heavy snow. The trees still had most of their leaves, which caught the snow. All that weight snapped branches and brought down trees, and with them, power lines.
I arrived at Amanda’s half an hour late. She was worried, and wondered if I shouldn’t cancel. But I was determined! On the way up the turnpike, I saw five trees down on the road. The going was slow. Bethlehem would get over a foot of snow before this was over. Back then, I was driving my del Sol, the front wheel drive two seater. While small, it was a wide car, and handled well in the snow.
Amanda did her usual amazing job with my makeup and wig. As no cleavage was showing, I just wore standard breast forms instead of the prosthetic.
The trip back south was slower than the trip to Bethlehem. Cars had spun out on the roads. Braches were down everywhere. I drove maybe thirty miles an hour at most. I decided to skip the comic book store and go right to the party. By the time I arrived at the party, eight inches of snow was on the ground. Good thing I was wearing boots!
I quietly entered the front door and waited for someone to spot me. It didn’t take long. Elizabeth saw me first and whooped with joy! She, M, and Phil (another coworker) were the only people at the party so far, and they all thought my costume was funny as hell. Now came the hard part. I felt so natural as Sophie, but I couldn’t let that show- I had to be “Lance in drag” and act awkward.
I was in the party for maybe five minutes when The Picture was taken. I was kneeling in front of the fireplace, which is where they put my stereo. I was leaning on a hassock, turning on the music. M and Elizabeth had been drinking heavily, and so couldn’t figure out the stereo. (“Press the power button…”)
As I knelt, M’s dog, Gracie came over to me, tail wagging. Gracie didn’t like me- at all. Whenever she saw me, she barked like crazy and her fur stood on end. Not so, this night. She came over, tail wagging, happy to see me. She was sniffing me. I looked over at her, and smiled. After the picture was taken, I petted her.
Gracie never had a problem with me when I was female, but hated me as male. I understood how she felt.
The party was a flop. Only eight people showed up, including me. We ended up getting almost ten inches of snow. I did win the vodka- which I shared with the party. It wasn’t very good.
So what is it about this picture that I love?
Of all the pre-transition, pre-HRT pictures taken of me, I think this is the most genuine and feminine. I am happy, and at peace. I’m happy that Gracie was accepting me. My makeup is perfect. Behind Gracie and my arm is my left breast, looking perfectly natural. This is what I aspired to be- a woman at peace and happy.
I didn’t know that I eventually would transition. I wanted to, but didn’t think I could. Heck, my Wife still didn’t know about my feminine side. It would be months before I confessed to her about that. At that time, my female side was my monthly retreat into who I Truly was, and I needed it.
I’ve worn this costume many times since, including three times at the bookstore. I’ve pretty much retired it now- it hangs on a rack in my storage space. The stereo was destroyed in August 2013, when I was forced to move out of where I was living. The wig wore out, and is long gone. I sold the breast forms on ebay, and haven’t worn the hip pads in years. The corset wore out and was replaced in 2013. M moved out of that house in 2012 and into another, where she would graciously welcome me as a tenant after I was thrown out. Gracie passed peacefully in M’s arms in 2014.
So many changes.
As of this writing, it’s been six years since that picture was taken. “An image caught in time.” I have been living my Truth for over three and a half years now.
And when I see this picture, I still smile. And Remember a snowy night long ago.
So I challenged two of my coworkers (both writers) and posted the following on facialbook:
A CHALLENGE:
For my writer friends:
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Prove it.
Using a picture OF you or one you've taken (new, old, whatever) tell the story of what is happening in that picture. The story may be fiction or non-fiction.
1000 words. Due next Wednesday, 5 pm.
Are you lame or are you game?
I'll post mine in my blog. Or you can post here. Whatever.
To date, six people have taken up the challenge. I can't wait to read the results!
As for mine, it follows the picture below. And no, this introduction did NOT count toward the thousand words. That would be cheating. As it stands, my piece is 1,422 words.
*****************************************************************
Saturday, October 29, 2011 was a snowy day. The snow had been predicted for days. It was going to be a massive storm: a “Nor’Easter,” they said. “Frankenstorm.” One to eight inches of snow predicted, maybe more.
Back then, I planned a lot of parties for my friends
and coworkers. My usual co-conspirators
were M and Elizabeth. This one I planned
extensively. This was going to be the
biggest party yet! Elizabeth and I went
out shopping for decorations. I stocked
up my bar (I was working two jobs back then- thirteen hour days- so I could
afford it.) I made special Halloween mix
CDs. M was living in a rented house as
her house underwent extensive renovations, and it was there that we held the
party.
But, the best part as far as I was concerned was the
costume contest. Back at the party in
2009, I won by a landslide using my “Monique” costume. “Monique” was just me showing off all I’d learned
in the year since my re-awakening on Halloween 2008. In that time, I’d bought a real corset, and
learned how to put it on. Yes, there is
a learning curve. I also bought hip pads
from Classic Curves to give me a feminine derriere. But the biggest acquisition I ordered in
March 2011. It arrived October 29. Yes, it took that long to make the piece- prosthetic
breasts so real that people could NOT tell they were fake. But I digress.
"Monique"
In 2010, my costume for the Halloween party was “God’s gift to women.” I didn’t want people to suspect anything after going enfemme for two straight Halloweens.
Which left this party. In 2009, I hired Lorraine Anderson, a friend of a friend, to make me a costume. The costume was Mary Marvel, the comic book superhero, as she appeared in the 1940s. Lorraine made the costume, which I wore to the Henri David Ball that year. Lorrain has since become a very dear friend, and has made several costumes for me.
My plan was to surprise everyone by wearing the Mary Marvel costume to this party, and, hopefully, win the costume contest again. I was supplying the top prize- a $100 bottle of Crystal Skull Vodka. Supposedly filtered through diamonds. I wanted that bottle.
As I said, I planned this party extensively. I started planning in late September. Many people RSVPed- over forty if memory serves. I advertised it on my “guy” facialbook page. I called friends and emailed them. I invited a few of my trans friends, but I didn’t think they would come. After all, there was a trans event that same night.
One of my two jobs was as an Instructional Designer at Penn State Great Valley. In between assignments, I was teaching myself Photoshop. As practice, I made posters for the party- six in all.
The Second Poster
Oh, I was so excited for this party! My plan was to go visit my dear friend Amanda Richards at True Colors Makeup Artistry in Bethlehem, Pa. On a normal day, that trip is usually an hour and a half one way. I would then stop at a comic book shop for a minute, just for the fun of it, then head to the party. Sometime during the night, I’d slip over to the trans event- Angela’s Laptop Lounge- for a few minutes. With over forty people attending, I wouldn’t be missed. I would then return to the party. My price for “doing a party” was that I get a bed for the night so I could drink a lot and not worry. This was before my DUI curbed my drinking. I dropped off my stereo, the bar, and the CDs the night before. M and Elizabeth would set everything up.
But as I said: Frankenstorm. People began saying “I’ll be there if…” I hoped that the storm would miss us, as so many had in the past.
But…
The snow started earlier than expected. It was a wet, heavy snow. The trees still had most of their leaves, which caught the snow. All that weight snapped branches and brought down trees, and with them, power lines.
I arrived at Amanda’s half an hour late. She was worried, and wondered if I shouldn’t cancel. But I was determined! On the way up the turnpike, I saw five trees down on the road. The going was slow. Bethlehem would get over a foot of snow before this was over. Back then, I was driving my del Sol, the front wheel drive two seater. While small, it was a wide car, and handled well in the snow.
Amanda did her usual amazing job with my makeup and wig. As no cleavage was showing, I just wore standard breast forms instead of the prosthetic.
Ready for the Snow and the Party
The trip back south was slower than the trip to Bethlehem. Cars had spun out on the roads. Braches were down everywhere. I drove maybe thirty miles an hour at most. I decided to skip the comic book store and go right to the party. By the time I arrived at the party, eight inches of snow was on the ground. Good thing I was wearing boots!
I quietly entered the front door and waited for someone to spot me. It didn’t take long. Elizabeth saw me first and whooped with joy! She, M, and Phil (another coworker) were the only people at the party so far, and they all thought my costume was funny as hell. Now came the hard part. I felt so natural as Sophie, but I couldn’t let that show- I had to be “Lance in drag” and act awkward.
I was in the party for maybe five minutes when The Picture was taken. I was kneeling in front of the fireplace, which is where they put my stereo. I was leaning on a hassock, turning on the music. M and Elizabeth had been drinking heavily, and so couldn’t figure out the stereo. (“Press the power button…”)
As I knelt, M’s dog, Gracie came over to me, tail wagging. Gracie didn’t like me- at all. Whenever she saw me, she barked like crazy and her fur stood on end. Not so, this night. She came over, tail wagging, happy to see me. She was sniffing me. I looked over at her, and smiled. After the picture was taken, I petted her.
Gracie never had a problem with me when I was female, but hated me as male. I understood how she felt.
The party was a flop. Only eight people showed up, including me. We ended up getting almost ten inches of snow. I did win the vodka- which I shared with the party. It wasn’t very good.
So what is it about this picture that I love?
Of all the pre-transition, pre-HRT pictures taken of me, I think this is the most genuine and feminine. I am happy, and at peace. I’m happy that Gracie was accepting me. My makeup is perfect. Behind Gracie and my arm is my left breast, looking perfectly natural. This is what I aspired to be- a woman at peace and happy.
I didn’t know that I eventually would transition. I wanted to, but didn’t think I could. Heck, my Wife still didn’t know about my feminine side. It would be months before I confessed to her about that. At that time, my female side was my monthly retreat into who I Truly was, and I needed it.
I’ve worn this costume many times since, including three times at the bookstore. I’ve pretty much retired it now- it hangs on a rack in my storage space. The stereo was destroyed in August 2013, when I was forced to move out of where I was living. The wig wore out, and is long gone. I sold the breast forms on ebay, and haven’t worn the hip pads in years. The corset wore out and was replaced in 2013. M moved out of that house in 2012 and into another, where she would graciously welcome me as a tenant after I was thrown out. Gracie passed peacefully in M’s arms in 2014.
So many changes.
As of this writing, it’s been six years since that picture was taken. “An image caught in time.” I have been living my Truth for over three and a half years now.
And when I see this picture, I still smile. And Remember a snowy night long ago.
Last time out: April 2016
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