Thursday, February 4, 2016

Open Letter to a GG

The following is not written with any one person in mind.

But it could be.


Picture from Today


Dear Cisgender Genetic Girls,

Women make up approximately 51% of the world's human population.  And you are lucky to be among them.

Why, you ask?  I mean after all, women are the subject of oppression, violence, discrimination, and the Kardashians.  Women make less then men for doing the same work.  Women's intelligence is consistently belittled by men.  Women are judged solely by their looks.  They are blamed when they are raped because they were "obviously asking for it."  And I can keep going with this litany, including being used as sex toys.

All true.

But- try to see it from my point of view: the perspective of a transwoman.

I was born male, and for whatever reason; be it genetics, extra estrogen in the womb, faulty receptors on alleles (all current theories), I have a feminine brain.  I identify as Female.  I have lived every day of my life in Pain, knowing that I was born "wrong" and that, in my case, there was nothing that could be done about it.  I didn't dare even speak of it.

After all, in the 60s and 70s, transpeople were "queer freaks."

So I suffered.  And I watched as puberty separated the boys from the girls in so many ways.

I know that no woman is EVER satisfied with her appearance.  I'm the same way.  I'm too fat; my hair is limp and dull; I could go on.

However, when I hear a woman, particularly one who is young and beautiful, complain about her appearance, well, I just want to scream!

As you walk with easy femininity- no one mistakes YOU for a man.  You have lived your life as a female.  You've never wanted to be anything but.  You grew  with female friends with whom you laughed and played; practiced makeup; talked about boys (or girls) and all small rituals of a girl moving into womanhood.  Many have sweet 16 parties.  At prom, it's ALL about the dress.  And who cares about the groom at a wedding- here comes the BRIDE!

You can be a tom boy, and no one questions if you were born with a penis.  You can work hard alongside men, and then be as soft and feminine as you please.

You don't have to worry about voice lessons, lest your voice sound too manly.

You complain about your hips and thighs... at least you have them!  You have curves I can only dream of possessing!  You can rock miniskirts, dresses, whatever.  No one looks at your butt and thinks "guy", not even the skinniest of women.  Your hips are one of the things that define your womanhood.

Womanhood.  Defined as  a person bearing two X chromosomes in the cell nuclei and normally having a vagina, a uterus and ovaries, and developing at puberty a relatively rounded body and enlarged breasts, and retaining a beardless face; a girl or woman.

Women often complain about their biological role of gestating offspring, and all that means, especially their monthly "visitor."  This means that YOU, not men, are the beginning of us all.  You create life!  Men will never know how that feels.  Ever.  I am a parent- a father.  I have a special bond with my daughter, but it is nowhere near the bond that she shares with her mother-  Her mother who carried her inside herself for nine months.  Yet, even a woman who cannot have children, or chooses not to, is still a Woman.  No one says otherwise.

You complain you're ugly?  Oh please.  How many times have YOU been called "sir?"  People look at you and see a Woman.  No doubt about it.  You don't require endless hours of electrolysis before you can go without makeup.

Makeup- for so many women it's a chore.  But for you it's a choice.  I see makeup as something I have earned.  For so long, I practiced... and now I wear makeup every day.  To look more feminine.

You have breasts.  Well, in this case, so do I, thanks to years of self-administered hormone injections.  I hear women complain that they get in the way, etc.  Yes, they do sometimes.  And wearing a bra gets painful after a full day.  All true.   For many, breasts are the most feminine of visual cues.  Yet, even flat chested women are not mistaken for guys.  I have D cup breasts, and am still called a man.

Then there's that whole sex thing.  A woman has thousands more nerve endings "down there" than a man.  Men are FAR easier to please sexually than a woman, but I can only imagine what it feels like for you.  Yes, you can get pregnant.  And the GOP wants to tell you what you can and cannot do with that part of your anatomy.  And yes, most men have NO idea what they're doing when it comes to sex.  All true.  But when it all comes together (hee) it must be so amazing.

Being a Woman is more than clothes.  More than Hips, Breasts, hair, makeup, body parts.  Gender is, after all, between the ears, not between the legs.  (And someone please remind Caitlyn Jenner of all this!)  And being female has so many challenges.

However, think about how LUCKY you are.  The next time you look into a mirror and see ugly, or l like a blimp... remember...

You were born female.  That's who you are.  That's who you will be.  It is your birthright.  But for so many, myself included, femininity is a goal to strive towards.

I am female, like you.  But I will never know the things you do.  Never share your experiences.  Understand certain truths.  Yes, I know things YOU don't know as well.  But you truly ever want to have that knowledge?  Does your soul ache for it?

Would you die for it?

I would.

As would many of my trans sisters.

You are So Lucky.  Remember that.  Celebrate who YOU are!

You are a WOMAN.


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