Sunday, April 27, 2014

Finally Seen

On Wednesday, April 16, 2014, I saw my Wife and Daughter.  Even now, this happens with some frequency, so what's the big deal?

No, this was special for another reason.

Well, MIL was away for the week, so I saw my dog too.  But that's not it.

This was the first time either of them met Sophie.  The Real Me.

Current Look.  All me, no pads.

Wife knew this day was coming that week- we'd discussed it.  She just didn't know when.  So I called her from the bottom of the street, and told her that I hadn't changed since work, so I was in female mode.  Was that ok?  It was.

The door was unlocked.  My dog greeted me first as usual.  Our "greeting ritual" usually takes a couple of minutes, and she is quite insistent about it.  Not that I need my arm twisted to pet my dog.

Then I walked into the living room, where my daughter sat playing with her computer tablet.  Wife looked at me and her face didn't change.  I called to my daughter for her to look, and she did.  She put down the tablet and stood, wide eyed.

"Wow! You're pretty!  You don't look like a guy in a dress!"  she said.

I hugged her and told her I loved her.

"Guy in a dress."  I wonder from where she heard that expression?

My purpose there accomplished, I stood and turned to Wife and said "I know this is making you uncomfortable.  If you want me to leave, I will."

She said "No, I have to get used to this.  Take off your coat and sit down.  And so I did.  We sat and talked for a bit, mostly about Daughter's school accomplishments.

The dog wanted lots of attention, which I was happy to provide.  She'd seen me as Sophie before, and in any case didn't care what I looked like.  People could learn a lot from dogs.  And we can learn a lot from children.  My daughter was able to look at me with fresh eyes- nonjudgmental despite outside influence.

Sandy Empanada gave me a bracelet of a butterfly just like one Lisa Empanada had. I gave it to Daughter to mark the day, as I explained my transition using a butterfly as an example.

The Bracelet

After maybe forty five minutes, I left.  I was relieved.  I'd done something that needed to happen, and it went well.  And that was a big one.  Wife and Daughter have seen me now.  They have seen Sophie.  There is no more denial.

So the next chapter begins.  Daughter has accepted me.  Wife has seen me.

With Daughter

This journey has so many milestones, and for those of us who are/were married and have children have additional milestones to achieve.  Many of us lose our families.  Most of us lose our marriages.  My wife was quite clear: if I transition, she's divorcing me.  And I am transitioning.

I love my Wife.  I don't need to say how much our separation and eventual break up hurts.  But I will always have my daughter's love.  Others may eventually try to keep us apart, but they can never take that away.

I am truly blessed.


  1. That is beautiful, Sophie. The eyes of a child are without judgement, only to be spoiled by an adult. In this case, your ex and daughter seem like wonderful, healthy, supportive people. You are blessed!

    Love ya!


  2. Sophie:

    What a nice story. Kids are the best, and your daughter is a gem. The resemblance between the two of you is quite apparent. She'll grow up to look like Sophie. Already she has the same facial shape, same eyes, same mouth, nose, eyebrows, everything. Both quite cute.

    The no padding caption has sent many of us into a jealous tail spin. Happy for you, though. You deserve every curve you get from HRT, having paid you dues getting to this point in your life.

    I hope your wife learns from your daughter and comes to accept you as who you are. The lost marriage - the loss of Lance - still leaves you, willing to be there for/with them after your metamorphosis.

    Very glad the first visit went as well as it did.


  3. my wife divorced me for less....crossdressing. We need to be who we are as people and we cannot deny that identity no matter how much others don't like it. For a long time I thought it was my fault for hiding who I was but its not. I tried to be the man that she wanted and I could not. Best of luck...

  4. You are So blessed to have a daughter that loves, and now accepts you. I will never know what it feels like to have a child of my own but I am really glad you will not lose your relationship with her. I'm sure over time that relationship will grow stronger and stronger and I also hope that you can keep your Wife close, as a good friend at least. Who knows what the future holds, but you at least know your family will stay your family...:)