Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A Reply to Elizabeth

This morning I noticed a few views to my blog that came from a source I'd never seen before.  So I went to check out the link. 

Here it is:
http://ben-girl-notesfromthetside.blogspot.com/2012/09/playing-transgender-game-and-ramblings.html

And I found that the author, Elizabeth, had indeed linked to my site.  This is what she wrote (and I quote):

"One last thing for Sophie on T-Central. If your face is 97% on the female scale then there is a major bug in the software or a donkey's ass is 96% female. Self delusion is rampart in the transvestite world."


The rest of what she wrote about other topics you can read and form your own opinions.  The thrust of the post is that it's a Rant (which I do far too often as well.)  I disagree with her main point, in fact I address her main point here and here (registration required for the second one, but it's free).  I agree with her discussion of the porn star, but not much else.

As it is central to my point, I'll reprint the salient portion of the second link here:

"I refer to myself as transgender. Oh wait — I’m not on hormones. My boobs are removable. I’m a “Weekend Warrior.” I’m not a “True trans.” I am obviously beneath contempt. And oh my God look at that bag! Am I homeless or something? And that skirt! Totally from Goodwill. An absolute disgrace. And look at that chin and nose! Some douche bag guy pretending.
I have heard all that too. From my sisters. From people who are discriminated against. Who are fired from jobs for no cause. Who are beaten and denied housing for who they are. Yet they look down their nose at me because obviously living the lie that I do, lying to my wife and children, fearing the day it will all come crashing down around me isn’t enough suffering for them. I just don’t understand because I’m not full time/not on hormones/I just DON’T KNOW!
Know what? I don’t know what it’s like to be full time. I don’t know what it’s like to be denied housing. (I’ve been fired with no cause though, sorry.)
Know what else? I don’t care.
I am trans. I am not as far as others, true, but my journey is only beginning. My sisters are trans. All of them. We are in this battle together. Why are dividing ourselves?
Labels.
I’m adding one more label to this mix. BULLY. That’s right. “Bully: (N) blustering browbeating person; especially: one habitually cruel to others who are weaker.” (So says Merriam Webster).
“I am more trans than thou.” Why are you here, you’re obviously some guy who is just out for kinky kicks.”

Bullies looking down on someone for no other reason but for who they are. What they’re wearing.
I hate bullies. Always have. Bullies are people who try to build themselves up by picking on others. They have no real friends. I’d pity them if their cruelty weren’t so destructive."

Ok.  So, as I was a little stung by her words, I commented to her post.  And, to her credit, she posted my comment.  And replied.  Here are both in their entirety.

Wow!


Who pissed on you cornflakes?

First, thanks for reading my blog.

Second, maybe that app is wrong. I think it is. But it helped someone on her journey feel happy for just a moment. Namely me. I have NO delusions about my appearance trust me. But the donkey's ass comparison was a bit harsh.

I'm glad you feel better after your rant. Congratulations. However you made others feel worse. How does that help?

To conclude, it's your blog. You say how you feel. As I do on mine. I've made my opinion clear on "dividers." you are one. That said, and with the knowledge that you won't post this, I say I wish you well and while you believe in God, well let's hope that Karma isn't true as well. Because that was bad karma.

Sophie Lynne

September 12, 2012 6:10 AM

"@Sophie Lynne
I would never "piss" in my own corn flakes and sorry sir but you made me feel worse long before I made you or others feel worse and the sad thing is you will never understand that.
I actually should have made part of my vent a list for stupid things transvestites say and or do. You are obviously not afraid to embarrass your family or yourself with your escapades en femme.

I am not a divider because that would imply we have, other than species, something in common. We do not. You are a fetishistic exhibitionist transvestite getting your jollies in life scaring the shit out of little kids at a Phillies baseball game or in a motel parking lot and getting caught driving under the influence with your en femme gear.

At some point listening to the transvestite/transgender bullshit gets too much. It is amazing that a she-male porn star considers himself an activist for women since it is by definition a total contradiction in terms.

Actually I do not wish you any harm or ill will and pray you do not destroy your family with your fetish but unfortunately you probably will because you just cannot help yourself.

I usually post all comments by the way unless requested not to by the commenter.

September 12, 2012 8:04 AM"

(Both above quotes are from the same URL I cited above.)

One of the nice things about blogs is this:  This is MY blog.  Here I give my opinion of the world as I see it.  As I stated in a previous post, I write this for many reasons.  And for some reason, 37 people read it enough to subscribe (for which I am grateful.)  Just as Elizabeth's Blog is HER blog, and same applies (but she may/may not have more readers.  None of my biz, there.)  She states her opinions in a public forum, as do I.

I replied to HER reply saying that I would reply here.  Make sense?  Why here?  My House.  I can type longer and develop my ideas more here.  And I invite Elizabeth to reply, which will be posted unless she requests otherwise.

Caveat:  I read only that one post from her.  I do not know what she writes elsewhere yet, but I look forward to reading more of her blog.

Right. 

I somehow made a person I don't even know feel bad simply for existing.  Simply for NOT having had a surgery she presumably has had. 

And in fact, Elizabeth, you use that difference to insult me.  I will do my best not to stoop to your level.  I WILL point out the flaws in your argument. 

You state "I am not a divider because that would imply we have, other than species, something in common. We do not."  I say you are wrong.  We have more in common than I'd like.  We both come from military families.  We are both passionate people, and neither of us take prisoners.  We state our opinions bluntly.  We like to think we're right most of the time.  By your diction, I know you are an educated person (and in fact, your profile says you're an engineer.)

Also by your diction, I can tell that somewhere, somehow, someone REALLY burned you badly.  And my guess is that it was a TG person.  I arrive at this conclusion by your statement that "you made me feel worse long before that."  As we've never met, this can only be a collective "you" (unless you concede that my writing is powerful enough to elicit THAT strong a reaction, which I doubt.) 

And so you flail away.  You say I'm a "a fetishistic exhibitionist transvestite getting your jollies in life scaring the shit out of little kids at a Phillies baseball game or in a motel parking lot and getting caught driving under the influence with your en femme gear."  Hmm, and here I thought your degree was Engineering, not psychology.  Good thing, as you're dead wrong.  What you discuss is "paraphilia", also known as transvetic fetishism.  And any good psychiatrist with Trans-training probes for that while making a diagnosis. (Side note: congratulations on being the first person to throw my arrest in my face.)

In fact, the GID diagnosis precludes it.  You remember Gender Identity Disorder, right?  After all, you were born with it just like me.  Another way we are alike, but one you deny.

Fortunately for you, you were (presumably) able to save enough for the GCS.  As you point out in your post, not all of us are that lucky.  I chose a life of service, which means I don't make much.  So I scrimp and save.  Yet still you flail away at me, a person you've never met, whose crime was SOMEHOW making you feel bad.

You also point out "You are obviously not afraid to embarrass your family or yourself with your escapades en femme."  Point conceded.  I am NOT afraid of embarrassment.  I no longer afraid to go out in public as the person I truly am.  And someday, God willing, I will BE that person.  However, I recognize that I often DO embarrass myself, my family, and even the university where I graduated with things I say or do.  Or WRITE.  Something else we obviously share. 



From what I've read, you seem like a very angry person.  We share that.  Someone who has deep wounds.  We share that too. 

There IS a major difference between us, and it's not the status of our genitalia.  No, it's that I try to see my flaws and I work on them.  I know that MY problems, for the most part, begin and end with the person in the Mirror.  I don't blame people I believe are "different" for them.  I try not to belittle or insult them (intentionally.)  I see vast differences in people and try to find the commonalities so We, as a species, can move Forward. You will note all the commonalities I found in us.

You don't see things that way.  You assign blame and flail away at those you perceive that have done you harm.  You vent and curse them for Being.  You have ALL the answers as only YOU and people LIKE you are worthy of esteem.  It's all THEIR fault, as you yourself are beyond reproach, and why isn't that OBVIOUS to everyone????

That makes you a Divider.

Q.E.D.

I mentioned Karma in my initial reply.  The idea that what comes around, goes around.  In Biblical terms, it's "reap what you sow."  "Sow the wind and reap the whirlwind" and all that.  Sow hate and division, and guess what you will find?  Hate and division.

Sow Understanding and guess what?  Maybe you'll be understood.

As you stated: "Actually I do not wish you any harm or ill will and pray you do not destroy your family with your fetish but unfortunately you probably will because you just cannot help yourself."


I wish you neither harm nor ill will either.  But my prayers are different.  I pray you and yours will have Good Fortune and Health.  I also pray that you will find peace with whatever demons are driving you before they consume you. 
I will close by saying that you were ABSOLUTELY right about one thing:  I CANNOT help myself.  I was Born this way, a Transgendered Person, just as you were.

Like it or Not.

Be well!



21 comments:

  1. Ignore "Elizabeth." Shes a fake. All the stories on her blog are made-up, even the pictures of her were stolen from someone else.

    She is most likely some 280 pound hairy man with a beard and a cigar, wearing a wife-beater, drinking PBR's somewhere in the nether regions of Tennessee.

    On the bright side, attracting the attention of the Transsexual Mafia means you have "made it" in the T blog world. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL Thanks! Do i get a pin to wear/ ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good Job Sophie...if they give you any garbage about that, point them to me. Remember, I am the ultimate in Trans...literally have boy, half girl (more like 30/70%, but whose counting)! Either way, I fulfill the dream of most trans people and that is to function as a fully functioning female and in that, in the "trans" hierarchy, I am the pinnacle of trans-volution. So let her (or him) come after me with his vitriolic hatred and see how far they get before I sink their ship.

    And Elizabeth, sweetie, let me know when you get your very own uterus and ovaries, or better yet, your XX chromosome, 'cause then we can talk. But until that time, you are no better than anyone, from someone who is fully post-op to that kid in college still trying on underwear in secret.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ouch! Best bomb-drop on "Elizabeth" yet. Thank you Superwoman!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Actually Sophie you did not make me mad, you made me laugh and you do on a continual basis but that is your right since this is your blog. You stated some silly computer program rated your face at 97% female. Now come on Sophie, even you admitted this was funny but why did you post it?

    No Sophie you do not get a pin to wear. You just get the "Silly Transvestite" of the week or month award.

    No Sophie you were not born a transvestite. It is a fetish.

    @Erica

    Thanks for making my point with your last paragraph. The irony is you will never get that.


    ReplyDelete
  6. PS:

    Turn on your comment moderation. You're going to need it. And don't buy any of Elizabeth's poppycock that she allows all comments or doesn't delete people on her blog. She's one of the worst when it comes to that.

    They're like sharks, really. Tranny sharks. Once they smell the blood in the water they will all come a swimming at you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. She's not worth the effort of paying attention to, quite frankly.

    I agree with Jamie - Elizabeth is probably some idiot trying to give red necks a bad name.

    (And yeah, you're probably going to need comment moderation; once that twit gets going, there's no stopping. Eventually she runs out of steam, however.)

    ReplyDelete
  8. in the "trans" hierarchy, I am the pinnacle of trans-volution.~Erica

    So I'm/we're to understand that you are better than everyone else?

    let me know when you get your very own uterus and ovaries, or better yet, your XX chromosome, 'cause then we can talk. But until that time, you are no better than anyone, from someone who is fully post-op to that kid in college still trying on underwear in secret~Erica

    So again, what you are saying is that YOU are better than everyone else but Elizabeth or those like her couldn't be?

    You are "trans" but you're the best kind of trans? the equivalent of a "cis" person?

    Are we to take it from your assertion that you think being able to procreate as nature typically intends for humans to do, or having chromosomes that science (not neccesarily nature) uses to define the sexes, makes someone a better (your words not mine) person?

    more valid than the rest?

    I know a great many natal born men and women who are infertile and/or incapable of reproducing naturally or AT ALL, so I could take it from what you've written that those people are sub-human, are less valid as their (BIRTH) sexes than you or others simply because of that? I’m sure they wouldn’t even waste their time defending themselves or their validity to someone who thinks as you apparently do. (and gee! Look! Neither has Liz, what a coincidence!)

    And gay people.... well heck! they're all making a BIG fuss over equal rights for no reason what-so-ever, they brought it all on themselves!

    They're capable of breeding, but they simply CHOOSE to be less valid by being with the people they choose to be with, a man can't breed with another man after all and neither can two women, so they deserve to be treated as "less than" in fact they CHOSE to be less than and they (no doubt) feel in their own minds that they ARE less valid humans or males and females that everyone else is “better” (again, YOUR words) than them.

    You're the biggest hypocrite of anyone Erica!

    Pro transgender and it's vision of "diversity" no doubt, but what you write says you exclude anyone who doesn't fit your personal (unrealistic) ideals of what male and female actually are.

    So you kept your job and now you advise others on how to do the same, good for you! that, and your functionality don't mean a damn thing (to me OR) anyone else out there in the real world do they? you aren't the pinnacle of anything are you?

    You're just as much of a freak show as the rest really….. aren't you?

    I think that’s sad, you could probably be so much more if you could look at life and humanity realistically, not drag yourself down so much on a personal level, and not try to compensate by attempting to elevate yourself socially. (it’s called humility) One day you might work it out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. One of the problems of your group, Abby, is that you interpret anyone else's attempt to feel pride in themselves, as some kind of attempt at tearing you down.

    It's a character flaw that you and your "sisters" share that makes sensible dialogue with any of you almost impossible.

    It's not a race or a contest, Abby. Nobody deserves to be judged by any criteria except their own. We are all individuals. Everyone can't be on the same path at the same time, there'd be not be enough room.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Either way, I fulfill the dream of most trans people and that is to function as a fully functioning female and in that, in the "trans" hierarchy, I am the pinnacle of trans-volution." Erica

    That is really funny. Good for you to feel pride in being the pinnacle of transness.

    "One of the problems of your group, Abby, is that you interpret anyone else's attempt to feel pride in themselves, as some kind of attempt at tearing you down."

    Jamie, I think you got that sideways. I applaud everyone's struggle to feel pride in something, just don't expect that others feel the same pride. Or claim when they don't that they are like you but in denial and must therefore be convinced that you and others like Sophie have to enforce a misguided rule of sameness. The problem is that you, Erica and now Sophie actually judge by criteria that are yours and not theirs or mine. If you stopped doing that, and stopped using your misguided idea of "sameness" in your discourse with others, maybe things might be different.

    You say: "Nobody deserves to be judged by any criteria but their own" yet you applaud Erica's comment as "the best bomb drop" when it actually says in the last paragraph exactly the opposite of what you say. That begs the question who has the free for all in interpreting what others say as an attempt to tearing you down?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Elizabeth and her tiny little group of haters are not to be concerned with. I posted comments on her blog throwing her own words back at her and she just calls you names and doesn't acknowledge your questions. I believe as Jamie. She's a made up image of her imagination. What she has posted over the years contradicts her own postings and timelines. She's a fake!

    Stephanie

    ReplyDelete
  12. You just don't get it do you?

    I don't hate you because you crossdress! I don't even dislike you! No woman of history does and frankly? If it gives you pleasure and you like doing it, feel free and enjoy! But I/we do have a major problem with it, and by extension, you, when you and your's cannot face what you do for what it is but instead feel you must drag us into this continuum/spectrum/whatever, as both a means and the public face that justifies yourself to the world!

    Look... Transgender/Transsexual are NOT the same things! They were and never never have been! You may have read tons of nonsense to the contrary but trust me. NONE of it was ever written by any of us who lived it! We may have been born with male bodies as you, but unlike you, the wiring was totally wrong...

    For us, being born this is a gross and disabling malady that if left untreated has a swift and sure terminal prognosis. Get it? For us, there is no “Option.” It is transition or die! Nothing to think about or ponder or wonder if we are or where we fell in our expression or maybe perchance to play dress up to placate it... For us, it is ALWAYS, fix the problem fully and completely as is humanly possible... or die! Not partly or later, but completely and NOW!

    So facing as sure a death as an untreated cancer, we turn heaven and hell, even selling our souls if we have to to fix this before we die, and sadly, most of us still wind up dying before we get there, but some of us do make it... We survive the unspeakable odds and manage to undo all that was so we can go on to live completely as the normal females we are... Once done, we wor, love and we live complete lives as fully functional females! The past for us is but an ugly foot note in an otherwise lovely life.

    That said, we are not hiding our history from the world, but in no way are we letting it out either, simply because our history is no ones business but ours... Like many women who were raped, (including too many of us) we keep what is personal to ourselves and we go on... but we are smart woman and we know things happen. Regrettably, a past can become known. Unfortunate when it doew, but even then shouldn't be more than a passing curiosity. Which for much of our lives that is just what it was when discovered. A curiosity!

    "She was a dude? No way!" "Nahhh can't see it... I don't believe it!" "I've seen her in the gym I would kill for that ass!" and so on and on... Once the novelty wore off, it dies down and we go on as before

    Then in the mid nineties crossdressers, lifestylers and the skin transvestites, rather than facing a world and taking the much harder path to their place in the sun, took the easy and predictable path... They did what men often do and used women.. us, as they renamed us and them to become the same under transgender. Us, being functional females were both their face to the world and at the same time for their own purposes, the most uber queer and most radical with our "surgery need choices" and these silly desire we have to be fully female!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Suddenly we found that our narratives had been stolen and parroted back barely recognizable! We found the Media we watched with our Spouses had become alive with hundreds upon hundreds of "transgender" who are nothing like us... saying that they were! We cringed every time we would see that or read it, knowing that what it had meant to be born transsexual had quickly becoming something else entirely. Something related to a sexual choice and a sexual lifestyle and part of the queerest side of what it meant to be queer world... None of those things are bad, but they are NOT US!


    We tried at first to get along... we would ask to be separated... that transsexual be noted as something else. We asked the TG to face the world as we had on their own. Every time we were shouted down, told we were not team players... that we should be supportive and understanding... that we are all in this together... one hand washes the other, greater political power, visibility, yada yada yada!

    As the years go by it becomes more and more clear there is an objective to normalize crossdressing, which is fine, except it is being done with the purposefully misdirection it is part of us!

    We are suppose to get all warm and fuzzy over giving you rights by cutting our own necks? Get with the program for the "good of all" to make us this third sort of queer? To insure that we can NEVER have normal lives as just ordinary men and women? Once trans always trans?

    Sorry but no!

    Look, I am not an apologist for Liz and I think she wrong to single you out in her rant but I understand her anger because I feel it too the moment you, like so many many before you dropped crossdresser and tacked transgender onto yourself as it stands. meaning us too, That is when you became a threat to us and all who suffer or suffered with this terrible birthdefect.

    So there is my two cents worth... feel free to tear me apart for being a transhobic hater or even a Nazi if it makes you happy... but when your anger is spent. try to understand that your "community" is robbing me and mine of any sense of security in our old age and the young born with this malady from having ANY chance of a normal life!

    MKIA

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nicely said, MKIA. Thank you.

    Now note the deafening silence.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Silence? Hardly.

    Pity? Yes.

    I feel very bad for people who need validation at ANY cost.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am sorry Sophie. I realy do not like saying things which could be interpreted as unkind. I do not say this to be unkind. However, characterizing the above comment as a need for validation is just so far beyond ludicrous as to be well, pathetic. Especially considering all those pictures you post of yourself.

    Think about that. Why else would you do that? Why do you willfully not not understand that women like MKIA, or Liz for that matter, are in fact very different than you. Not 'better', just different.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Funniest bit to me is this: I'm a writer and a former English teacher. We learn quite early to analyze and identify writing styles.

    Let's just say that three of the Posters in these comments have identical writing styles... which means they are probably the same person. A person who doesn't bother changing styles between accounts.

    Especially since all three of them addressed my comments to Elizabeth as if I made them directly to said person.

    As I said, Funny. As to why, I'm not a psychiatrist. I'll keep my guesses to myself.

    As to why I take pictures, you'll find that as my latest TG Forum column. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Total 'derail'. Typical strawman/red herring. Total D E N I A L. Butt......IT JUST AIN'T SO. Butt what if it were, you own words betray you...

    "I’m not on hormones. My boobs are removable. I’m a “Weekend Warrior.” I’m not a “True trans.” I am obviously beneath contempt. And oh my God look at that bag! Am I homeless or something? And that skirt! Totally from Goodwill. An absolute disgrace. And look at that chin and nose! Some douche bag guy pretending".

    ReplyDelete
  19. If you read the whole post, you'll note that I'm mocking people who think that THEY are the ONLY true TGs. Shall I repost the link?

    ReplyDelete
  20. "You remember Gender Identity Disorder, right? After all, you were born with it just like me. Another way we are alike, but one you deny."

    I think you labor under a misconception. Transsexuals do not suffer from GID, they suffer from physical incongruence with the innate gender. Gender variant persons suffer from GID. This is recognized in two ways in the DSM 5 coming into force next year, firstly GID was thrown out and replaced with Gender Dysphoria without qualifying the source of the depression. Secondly, it provided an exit point when you are healed which in case of transsexuals is bringing your body into congruence with your innate gender.



    "If you read the whole post, you'll note that I'm mocking people who think that THEY are the ONLY true TGs. Shall I repost the link?"

    You see I am absolutely convinced that you are a true TG. Everything that I see on your blog suggest as such. But transsexual you are not. It might have been useful to actually read MKIA's comment to your post. She explains what the rift between transgender and transsexual persons and politics are. They are different not more or less than the other. It is your denial that she and so many others are quite different from that is the source of the dispute.

    And it does not help that you out of one side of your mouth say "we are all different" and out of the other "we are all the same". It is always easy to dismiss everything out of hand and as you admit "mock it".

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'll tell ya what I think - I think that quite a few of us need to pull our heads out of our asses.
    Shame on Elisabeth for going out of her way to hurt you. Shame on you for going out of your way to hurt her back.

    Life all by itself is freaking hard enough - we ALL have enough challenges to overcome without having people throwing tacks in front of our tires. Being TG, in any way, shape, or form is like a force multiplier for problems and difficulty in life, and without a doubt it dramatically complicates things.

    It's bad enough when all of us have to deal with shit from the "muggles" - those who were fortunate enough to be born without our little gender head trips. That we should also have to suffer abuse and derision from each other - people that damned well should have some form of understanding and compassion for each other, is just totally unacceptable.

    It's no surprise that so many people don't care for us - apparently we can't stand each other . . .

    ReplyDelete