Jan-tics

So January isn't even over and I've been out twice! (Yes, the press have been alerted. Press conference at noon tomorrow.)




But it wasn't just the going out part that has made this month... different? Special?



Well first I'll say why I was out.



The first was a late "New Years Eve Party" at the Raven in New Hope. This was hosted by Jen Bryant and Victoria. They'd done these big parties there before, but I didn't attend. In fact, I'd never been to the Raven before. I hadn't planned on going, but suddenly I had the opportunity so I took it.



So that day I went up to Amanda Richards to get my makeup done. After all, they were expecting maybe a hundred gurls there so I wanted to look my best! I wore my favorite LBD and a little... help. ;) My friend Linda Lewis told me about a way to get the best cleavage from what I have: the Miraculous bra by Victoria Secrets. It would give me great cleave AND increase my size by 2 cups (making me an E cup). So that was my secret weapon going in.

LBD time!

I arrived after a 90 minute drive from Amanda's.  The bar was beautiful!  Carved wood and stained glass.  Several Tgirls were there already, and I fell into conversation. 

A friend, Jen Bryant and me.  You can see the difference the bra made in this pic! 

Photo courtesy Jen Bryant

The plan was dinner for maybe 40, then party time!  The menu was great and I sat with fun people, one of whom I'd never met (Lisa from Baltimore.)  I didn't drink much as my Sophie Sense (patent pending) was tingling.  The road home was one favored for drunk driving checkpoints and I don't think walking the straight line would've possible in heels, sober or not!  The service at dinner was impeccable and the food was great.

Lisa, Victoria, Me, at the table

There were so many camera flashed during dinner, it was like the red carpet at the Oscars- a veritable strobe light!

After dinner, the picture taking began in earnest.  People everywhere with cameras.  I flitted about, talking with people and had a good time.  And the bra was a hit.  I wasn't getting much eye contact.

A drunken lesbian hit on me.  She was cute, and very complimentary, but reeeeally drunk.  Maybe ten minutes later I saw two guys carrying her limp form toward the door.

Then the music started. 


I won't say it was loud, but my fillings rattled out of my teeth.  So I went into a side room.  20+ guys singing show tunes.  I'm not kidding.  Cliche city.  Here is where most of the "names" of the Philly trans scene were hanging out. 

I left around 11.  My cover story was I was at work, I needed to be cleaned up and home by 1:30ish.  As I left, I saw the great Lady Ellen, and we spoke briefly.

So I was thirsty.  Two doors down from the Raven is a Wawa (mini market chain around here).  I drove over and just walked in like it was nothing.  Mind you, I'm dressed to party, breasts hanging out, etc.  No one even blinked.

No one cared.

Wow.  I'd actually gone into a store with no issue.  Granted, it was in "friendly" New Hope, but it was still an achievement for me.  I'm still happy about that. 

Drove back to the hotel, cleaned up, and was home at 1:30 on the nose.

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Ok, so last weekend was Laptop Lounge, my usual haunt.  I wore a new outfit and visited Amanda as usual. Aside from the three inches of snow, all was going well.  I went to the Renaissance Meeting as usual.  Good times there too.  Met some new people.

Oh, and did I mention the short skirt?

Ok, so I arrived at Laptop and go to the bar per usual.  At the bar, people were saying Joe Paterno is dead.  Now for those of you who don't know, Joe Paterno was coach of the Penn State football team for 40+ years.  He'd been in the hospital lately as he had lung cancer.  Oh, and if you didn't know, I am a Penn Stater.

So I felt my stomach drop out.  Then I saw on the bar TV that he was still alive.  Damage done though.  I was trembling. 

It's hard to explain what "Joepa" means to me as a Penn State grad.  Let's just say the news affected me more than when close family members died and leave it there, ok? 

So I was dressed all sexy, but I no longer felt sexy.  I was glad to see friends, but I felt sick.  My heart wasn't in it. 

So I hung around for a bit, talked to people, tried to enjoy myself and learn something, but the evening was ruined.

I left early (for me.) 

Joe Paterno died the next morning.

All that said, I felt perfectly natural being a woman that night.  I didn't feel a bit self conscious.  Perhaps that was due to the Wawa experience.  Perhaps because I loved the way I looked. 

That said, I was showing devastating cleavage and wore an incredibly short skirt.  Not very appropriate to anything but a bar.  And as I've mentioned, I have to get past that.  I intend to dress far more appropriately next month, and take a walk somewhere.  Like the mall.  Or a restaurant.  Or both.

Joe Paterno once said "Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things."  It's one of the things Penn State taught me, and that lesson has gotten me through some very dark times.  The path ahead will definitely hold dark times, as well as good times like the Raven experience.  If I continue further down the path as Sophie, then the darkest times may yet be ahead.  But I'll have those words, and the support of friends to help me toward my dream. 
 
Dreams can come true.  And one person can make a difference, even if that person isn't perfect. 
 
Sleep well, Coach.