Men of the Skull Interlude VIII: Raven Angel

 Another book chapter which began as blog entries.

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Interlude VIII: Raven Angel

Saturday, January 14, 2012 Obama Bid to Cut the Government Tests Congress

Then came a late "New Years Eve Party" at the Raven in New Hope.  This was hosted by my friends Jen Bryant and Victoria.  They'd done these big parties there before, but I didn't attend.  In fact, I'd never been to the Raven before.  I hadn't planned on going, but suddenly I had the opportunity, so I took it.  I didn’t realize that I’d meet someone who would change, no: define, my life that night

So that day I went up to Amanda Richards to get my makeup done.  After all, they were expecting maybe a hundred girls there so I wanted to look my best!  I wore my favorite LBD and a little... help.  My friend Linda Lewis told me about a way to get the best cleavage from what the prosthetic breasts I had: the Miraculous bra by Victoria’s Secret.  It would give me great cleavage AND increase my size by 2 cups (making me an E cup).  So that was my “secret weapon” going in.  For my first time there, I wanted to turn heads!

I arrived after a ninety-minute drive from Amanda's.  The bar was beautiful!  Carved wood and stained glass.  Several T-girls were there already, and I fell into conversation.

At dinner, I sat with my friend Victoria…

Suddenly a woman plopped into the empty chair beside me, as if she’d stepped in from a brighter, glossier world.  She was polished in every detail: a sleek chin-length blonde bob held by a sparkling double headband, makeup done in that effortless evening style that made her eyes seem larger, her smile warmer.  She wore a strapless metallic dress—white, gold, and silver, and a black shrug with a small brooch framed her shoulders.  Even her jewelry felt intentional, a quiet shimmer of gold at her neck, wrist, and ears.

Lisa and me, that night.

The effect was unmistakable: confident, stylish, utterly feminine.

Wow- this woman was everything I wanted to be.

She was drinking Miller lite straight from the bottle.  She looked at me and said "those bitches at the bar think drinking beer from a bottle isn't feminine.  Well, this is what I say to that!"  And she chugged one down.

She finished, looked at me and smiled.

“Oh, I like you!” I said. 

She introduced herself: Lisa Empanada from Baltimore.  As I’d previously lived there, we bonded over that, and she had a similar warped sense of humor.  Talking to her was like talking to someone I’d known forever.

I didn't drink much as the road home was one favored for drunk driving checkpoints, and I don't think walking the straight line would've possible in heels, sober or not! 

Oh-the bra was a hit.  Success!

Then, after dinner, the music started.   Lisa went to dance, but I didn’t. 

I won't say it was loud, but my fillings rattled out of my teeth.  So, I went into a “quieter” side room, where twenty some guys were sitting around a grand piano singing show tunes: extremely well. 

I left around 11, but not before saying goodbye to Lisa, who was owning the dance floor.  My cover story to my wife was I was at work, so I needed to be cleaned up and home by 1:30ish. 

But I was thirsty.  Two doors down from the Raven was a Wawa (mini market chain around Pennsylvania).  I drove over and just walked in like it was nothing.  “Walk in like you belong there” as I’d been told.  Mind you, I'm dressed to party: low cut dress, high heels, dramatic make-up.  No one even blinked.  No one accosted me for being a “guy in a dress.”    

No one cared.

Wow.  I'd actually gone into a store with no issue.  What was I so afraid of?  Granted, it was in "friendly" New Hope, but it was still an achievement for me- a first.

Drove back to the hotel, cleaned up, and was home at 1:30 on the nose.

So began my relationship with Lisa.  We talked a LOT as we moved forward through our lives.  She would come up to Pennsylvania for Laptop Lounge, and I visited her in Baltimore.  We would hug and laugh when we were together.  It wasn't until later that we cried.  Lisa became a Sister to me: close as blood.  Closer.  We talked about everything and anything.  Finished each other’s sentences. 

And laughed.  Oh, how we laughed.

That night at the Raven didn’t just give me a new friend.  It gave me insight: a glimpse of the woman I might become.  I didn’t dare have the words for it then, not really.  But something in me shifted—quietly, decisively.  The next months would take that spark and turn it into motion, and by the end of the year I would begin changing in ways I had once only whispered to myself in the dark.

 

Monday, December 10, 2012  Justices Weigh Race as Factor at Universities

It was another rainy, cold day in Philly, but for me, it was a great one.  A significant one.

 On December 10, I started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

Me- on Estrogen.  Becoming a woman in body as well as mind:  A dream come true.  Lisa had begun her hormones just days before me. It felt fitting, the two of us stepping into our futures side by side, even from different cities.

That morning, my "big sister" Mel picked me up extra early, as my appointment was at 9 am, and traffic into Philly is always brutal.  She drove because my license was still suspended from a post Laptop DUI back in August.  We arrived down at the Mazzoni center area at 7:30. As Mel knows the area well, she led me to a really nice coffee shop she likes.  I had diet coke.  We sat and talked for a bit about current events, and about the future.

At 9 AM, I checked in at the Mazzoni Center for my 9:15 appointment.  Within minutes, I was in a small examination room, waiting for Dr. Goodman.  They are quite efficient there.

Dr. Goodman came in and asked me a few questions.  He went over the possible risks of HRT and asked if I understood them.  I signed consent forms.  He emailed my prescription to the Walgreens next door.  I normally don't use Walgreens, but this one gets all drugs at a discount, and by me paying normal price, the difference goes to help pay for others who don't have insurance.

So by paying normal price, I get to help others.  Win-win.

After picking up the drugs, Mel drove us out of the city.  After lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen in King of Prussia mall, she drove me home, where I read the information that came with the drugs:  Estrodiol and an androgen blocker: Spironolactone.

I sat at my computer, and, after doing a little online research into the drugs as well, I opened the bottles and put the prescribed dose in my hand.  The pills were tiny.  One blue, one white.  Blue and White.  How appropriate for a Penn State gal. 

Then, I downed the pills with water.  And like that, my future quietly began.  The dosage was low.  This is just to see if my body can handle it. 

Then the next day it was back to the hell of retail during the holidays

HRT.  A new dawn.

 

 

The Raven closed in October 2019.  It's now a parking lot.

 

Even the small dose of estrogen started causing changes before switching to the full dose a month later.  My skin was softening.  My temper calming.  And, behind my nipples, breasts began to bud.