On Saturday November 16, 2024, the Spring Ford High School Class of 1984 gathered at Copperfield Inn, Limerick, Pa., for their 40th reunion.
That's all you need to know. Bye!
.
.
.
.
.
Oh, ok I'll write more.
Wow. Forty years in a heartbeat. Heck, TEN years in a heartbeat. Yet, in those ten, so much has changed. I've gone from being new at transition to being a mentor: a trans "elder." I've moved away from SEPa to State College, where I'm (supposedly) working on my PhD. My daughter has gone from a child to a teenager. The political scene has reached a boiling point. I've made a friend or two but more than that have died. The world survived a pandemic.
I have less years ahead of me than I have behind, and those years fly by. I'd like to think that time has made me a better person, but I know that isn't true. I've become more bitter and withdrawn. I have gotten better at makeup though, despite rarely wearing it.
I wasn't going to attend this reunion. It was $45 I didn't have. But, like the 30th, I was "bribed" by Eva, a classmate now in California. She said she'd get me a hotel room for the night so I wouldn't have to drive back to State College that night. Why she made me this offer, I don't know. I still don't know why she offered to pay ten years ago.
In any case, I made plans to get my hair styled near the hotel as I'm clueless. It looked great for a while (until I started sweating.) I then picked up wings at a local cheesesteak place that I must say were very disappointing. I drove a backroad to the hotel that reminded me of what the area looked like when I was growing up- farms instead of strip malls and McMansion farms.
After meeting up with Eva (2 doors down in the hotel), she gave us both Korean facials (I have no idea what was in them- just that they were on plastic strips.) She also wanted to do my makeup. We settled on her doing my eyes and applying fake lashes which I simply cannot do. She did a wonderful job on the eyes (I touched up one spot where there was a smudge) and I did the rest. I wore the red dress I wore in Vegas with a bit of a push up bra. Yes, I wanted the girls to shine! I wanted to slay as best as I could. That meant cleavage for miles, dammit!
As I finished my makeup, the third of our group arrived. She was my old friend Sue, who attended the 30th as well. I went back to my room and watched the Penn State game as they changed and finished getting ready. We rode over together in Eva's rental car, arriving just after 6. When we arrived, we met a few other classmates in the parking lot. We met another at the door. Let's just say that back then, he and I didn't get along back in school. Back then, we ended up in a fight which I handily won (remember- this is when I was still in the dojo.) I did not introduce myself.
I managed to reach some old classmates about this reunion. One I hadn't seen (or heard from) in 30 years- not since the 10th reunion: Alecia. She was #2 in our class (beaten by a razor thin margin) as well as an athlete. Back then, we used to talk a LOT. She was a sounding board after a couple of nasty events I will not discuss here. When I first reached out to her (about the Scitman book) I wondered how she'd react to my transition. I needn't have worried. She took it all in stride, as I'd hoped (and rather expected.) I'm guessing she googled me or something before responding, being a scientist and all. Yes, she is a bionic scientist. She can rebuild you. She can make you better than you were. Better, stronger, faster. In any case, her husband was actually the one to talk her into going.
She looked amazing (and yes, that's her natural hair color!) We talked about old times, old friends, new times, her daughter's PhD... I always figured she'd become a doctor. Nope- scientist. Her husband was a delight as well. He was content sitting back and watching people his wife knew from the day. His opinion he kept to himself.
As we're getting older, the number of "empty chairs" gets larger. This time, there was a poster naming those who'd died. It's missing a couple: John Cauffman and Don Schantz.
Looking around, I noticed something: most of us looked our age. Some looked younger. Some looked FAR older. Time had not been kind, and I assume neither had disease or such. There but for the grace of God... There were a couple of faces I hadn't seen at a reunion before this. Alecia was one. Another I will not name, but he was thrown out of the venue for being too drunk.
I must say he wasn't the only one who made an ass of themselves. I was standing in line for a drink when a slim, beautiful blonde and I started chatting. I didn't recognize her, so I figured she must be a spouse. She asked what I thought of the reunion, blah blah small talk. She then asked what my opinion was of a certain classmate, whom I will call AH. I didn't even think for a second as to why she would ask about such a specific person (who was in attendance) and said "He's an asshole. A bully. He loved tormenting people smaller than him, thought women owed him sex then discarded them like toys, and all he ever talks about at the reunions is the spectacular football play he made our senior year. (It actually was pretty spectacular, but still...)
I stopped myself before pointing out how, at the 30th, his wife wasn't there so he was flirting with many of the women. Then I said, "Why do you ask?"
She replied "Oh, I'm his wife."
Open mouth and insert leg! I felt so incredibly stupid and apologized for my candor. I bought her a drink. She wasn't angry. She explained that I wasn't the only one with that opinion. Apparently, she knew very little about his high school days. I said, "So you don't know about the 'the catch'?" She rolled her eyes and said "oh believe me I've heard about THAT so many times..." Anyway, she wanted to ask people about her husband to find out about his past from other people's point of view. Perhaps she'd asked him and wasn't convinced by his answer. In any case, she missed the 30th due to surgery. I apologized again, and we parted. We spoke again later, and she bought my last drink of the night (of 4).
Still, that makes me smile, even as I write this. At least SOMEBODY was impressed with my look for the night.
After returning to the hotel, Eva, Dawn, a classmate named Al (who was very well dressed) and I hung out in my room, drinking and talking. It was my favorite part of the night. We learned things about each other and rehashed the events of the evening. I finally went to bed at 3:30. I was up at 8 to shower and go see Wife and daughter, followed by the long drive back to State College. As you can imagine, by the time I arrived at the apartment I was exhausted. I was really dragging at work the next day.
I've had over a week to think about the event, of the people I saw, and where life had taken or done to us all. After the thirtieth, I wrote "What brought me to this event? What brought the others? I think it's the need for Connection. All we have in common is that we lived in the same area and were about the same age, so that made us classmates... Connection. We all need it. Maybe in time all wounds heal, but they never heal alone. Sometimes it takes Change... and someone extending their hand."
That still applies. I'd add to that these reunions also connect us to our long-lost youth- the halcyon days of energy, vigor, spectacular catches, and a life wide open with possibilities. It seems that's all some people have. That's not an indictment or a judgement: it just is. I spoke to my dad about the reunion. He had his sixtieth reunion several years ago- it was the first he'd ever attended. He also said it would be the last held, as their numbers dwindle (they are all in their 80s.) That's twenty years away for me- a heartbeat or last breath. A wise friend once told me "Days drag, but years fly."
They weren't wrong.
Thanks again to Eva for her kindness in getting me a room for the night.
Be well.
No comments:
Post a Comment