Sunday, October 31, 2021

Getting Caught

Thinking back all the way to when I first put on a piece of feminine clothing until, well, today to some extent, my biggest fear concerning being trans has been getting "caught."  Discovery.

It's something feared by transgender women from crossdressers to transitioned, but mostly  those who are closeted. (Heidi Phox has a fun video about this.)

When I first started, I feared being caught by my parents or my brother.  I knew that if my parents caught me, the punishment would've been beyond severe.  Possibly being thrown out or worse.  And if my older brother (OB) caught me, he'd instantly tell them while greatly embellishing the story to the point where the only true part would be the skirt.  (In reality though, when my brother caught me, it meant a huge bribe to buy his silence, combined with the knowledge that he had something terrible on me.  But to his credit, he never told.)

So I usually dressed when they all were away.  Sometimes when mum was away and dad was on night shift, so asleep during the day.  It really depended upon how bad my dysphoria was on a given day.  

Sometimes I'd dress if they were out running errands, but then it would only be hose or something easily removed and hidden.  During those times, I kept my ears peeled for the squeak of the front door, or the sound of one of the vehicles in the driveway.  I sort of miss those days, fresh with discovery and fear.  My adrenaline ran very high and senses were on edge.  At those times, the clothes felt extra silky and soft.  

But then that sound- was that the door?  The frantic scramble to unzip, unhook, don't rip it!  Hide it hide it!  God help me if I had on makeup!  That usually meant shower time- that was my excuse for all the washing.  

Close calls.  Oh, so many close calls!  The sound of my mother's voice shouting my name up the stairs... I didn't hear her come in!  PANIC!  Strip!  Oh don't come up here!  As I mentioned, I was only caught once, and that was by OB.  

After Halloween 2008, I was hiding from the whole world, especially my Wife.  I knew that the consequences for being caught now- with a family and career- would be catastrophic.  I took every precaution and thought through every move.  Motels paid in cash.  Post office box in another town. Storage site several towns away.  I was so cautious, and wasn't caught.  I realized an important fact: that no one would recognize me because they weren't looking for me.  Even if they were looking for me, they wouldn't be looking for me dressed as a woman.  They may recognize that I'm a crossdresser, but not who I am.

Of course, the problem happened because this blog was found.  I was Thrown out.

Since then, I haven't cared who found out.  And then in March 2014, I came out to the world.  Since then it's been misgender, misgender, misgender.  But no more hiding.

I know no one reads this anymore, but I'll ask anyway: have you ever been caught crossdressing?  What happened?


  1. Never caught, but oh, the close calls, the heart pounding frantic scramble to evade discovery at all costs. My closest “almost” was during a weekday that I had off, wife at work on a known schedule; I got fully made up, incl. corset, hose, dress, heels, forms (thankfully not stuck on in those days) well glued on long nails, etc. I then went for a daytime drive and also walked around some. Headed home in plenty of time to clean up and do my Clark Kent. Drove into my neighborhood, hit the garage door opener, pulled halfway into the garage, and was startled to see my wife’s car on the other side that should have been empty. Biggest “holy crap” moment I ever had. I escaped and survived, secret intact, thanks mostly to my excellent planning and a solid dose of luck. Details some other time.

    By the way, yes I’m still here and read your posts.

    Kind regards,

  2. I have to share this story with you. Very few people know it. I may not have even told Linda, but my mother dressed me as a girl and made up my face when I was 4 years old. It was Halloween 1957, and Dad was overseas with the Air Force. Mom thought it would be cute for us to go trick or treating as mother and daughter. She dolled me up and dressed me in some of her cutaway clothes. I hated that night, everyone laughed at me and I was ashamed. One of my aunts argued violently at Mom for this act. They would not speak again for many years. Now that I look back at what I remember about that night, I know that Mom was responsible for me wanting to be a girl...40 years later. But I was very cautious about Halloween until I was at least a teenager. Dad never found out about that awful night. And now you know why I am TG.

  3. Never caught when I was younger (before the age of 18). Came close several times. It's seems strange that I never got caught while I was single but then I was hiding in plain sight whenever I was dressed. By that I mean that I never dressed when I was within 50 miles of my home base. I would occasionally underdress under my work clothes and might get occasional weird looks from my co-workers but I was never questioned about it. When I first got married, I opened up to my spouse and even had her help with my makeup and clothes. That was one time and when we finished dressing me, she looked at me and stated infactly that it would never happen again. I was in the military at the time, in a job that required security checks, and I became fearful that she might say something. Basically, she held my career in her hands. I did underdress occasionally over the next 12 years without her acknowledging it. One day when i came home from work, I didn't hear her come upstairs while I was getting changed. I had just taken off my uniform and was standing there in just my underwear when I heard her become unglued.
    We spent the next the next three days of tears, quiet accusations, some discussion and a lot of silence. In the end, she said that as long as I never showed myself in front of her, the kids or our friends that she would never say anything. After she got a job, she got involved with the LGBT group. She finally admitted to me that she didn't understand what I was going through till she met and became friends with a trans woman going through transition. Since that time my wife has almost become insistent that I openly dress in more female mode.

  4. I was never caught per say, but I have had some close calls. I did have my mother yell at me for wearing her clothes. My father almost caught me in my room. He did say that a couple of times he noticed I had not removed mascara on my lashes completely. I made sure I had all the makeup off before they saw me.

  5. your brother did very well for you .keeping this secret .YOU should NEVER have had too keep this Secret .A REAL LADY .Mark.x

  6. I’ve never been caught dressing, but I did have one very close shave. Luckily it was before wigs and makeup so I was only wearing a dress and was able to hide it under a bathrobe.

    If I was a cat I would have certainly lost a life that day.