Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Out of Gas

Yesterday, I pushed my car into this gas station, out of gas and money. I swallowed my pride and posted on facial book asking for help.

Uni Mart, North Atherton St.

Within a minute, I had several people send me money enough to not just get enough gas to get home, but also fill the tank. (I then deleted the post.)

My deepest gratitude to:

KR Schaefer
Randi Simpson
Frank Mentzer
Rachelanne Nelson
Michelle Levy Ferretti

I don't deserve friends like you. I cried tears of happiness.

While pushing the car (300 yards to a downhill, where I was able to coast into the gas station) I kept thinking about how stupid I was for not budgeting correctly.  How if I can't even do that, why the f**k was I wasting my time trying to get a PhD?  Stupid, fat, ugly, old... my usual litany of self insults.

By the time I stopped by a gas pump, I was ready to quit grad school, find a redneck bar nearby (plenty to choose from) and start a fight.  Suicide by Trumpanzee.  I just wanted to crawl into a dark hole and never come out. 

That's when I decided to post what I did to facial book, because otherwise it was a LONG walk home.  I figured I MIGHT get $5.  KR immediately sent $20.  That was all I needed, and more than expected.  In the time it took for me to transfer the money from paypal to my account, the others donated.  Literally within a minute.  I deleted the post, transferred the money, and filled my tank. 

But there's more to this story. 

All of them then checked in with me via messenger or whatever.  They were concerned.  A couple of them I hadn't "spoken" to in a few years.  One (Mr. Mentzer) I never even met, and his work had a profound influence on my life!  Two of them told me I was not to pay them back.  One told me to make sure to get a little something for myself.  So I did.

I bought beer

And after a long day, I settled on my couch, and Linda and I watched a movie (Fast Times at Ridgemont High if you must know.)  I had a beer, and, after the movie, started in on my homework.

The day ended.  I was tired; my muscles ached; but... my friends helped me when I needed it.

Thank you.  Seriously.

Be well.


  1. "Trumpanzee" is more than a little snarky and caustic. There are many individuals who support President Trump and are in fact pleasant people. No wonder we have such anger in the world when people characterize others in such vicious manners.
    Lynn McDonough

    1. Trump, his minions, and his supporters are steadily stripping away the civil rights of transgender Americans (64 different times so far.).
      He and his minions want nothing less than our extermination.
      I stand by my phrasing, and my anger. I don't care how nice a person is if they actively support the forces aspiring to kill me and mine.

  2. Hi,

    No, at this point due to Trump's virulent racism and xenophobia his supporters can be categorized in two categories: racists and/or sadists.

    And hey, Sophie, where did you go???



    1. I'm still here. I've just been overwhelmed with school.