I haven't posted in a bit. Sorry.
It's the same reason as many other times- writer's block caused by the Darkness.
For those of you new(ish) to this blog, I define the terms I use HERE. But, for brevity's sake, I'll just define what I mean by the Darkness here as well.
"The Darkness": My name for the pain and thoughts surrounding suicidal depression.
I've started and abandoned several entries. One actually became my TG Forum column last week. See that HERE.
The others never made it out of the notebook. This one is being typed directly from my head, as I don't intend it to be long.
I know so many of you are tired of me whining. Tired about hearing about the Darkness. I don't blame you. I am too. I'm trying not to even talk/write about it anymore. It is there, but talking about it isn't doing anyone any good.
[deletes an hour's worth of typing]
My therapist thinks I'm my "own worst enemy." Maybe she's right.
But in any case, that's where I've been. And Am.
It's the same reason as many other times- writer's block caused by the Darkness.
For those of you new(ish) to this blog, I define the terms I use HERE. But, for brevity's sake, I'll just define what I mean by the Darkness here as well.
"The Darkness": My name for the pain and thoughts surrounding suicidal depression.
I've started and abandoned several entries. One actually became my TG Forum column last week. See that HERE.
The others never made it out of the notebook. This one is being typed directly from my head, as I don't intend it to be long.
I know so many of you are tired of me whining. Tired about hearing about the Darkness. I don't blame you. I am too. I'm trying not to even talk/write about it anymore. It is there, but talking about it isn't doing anyone any good.
[deletes an hour's worth of typing]
My therapist thinks I'm my "own worst enemy." Maybe she's right.
But in any case, that's where I've been. And Am.
Art: Jim Starlin Death of Captain Marvel 1982
We are all here for you, Sophie. Don't give in to it. Hugs
ReplyDeleteSophie -
ReplyDeleteEven when you write a long vent of a post, it is still helpful to many readers. You show that each of us Trans folk has a unique road to travel and that there will be rough places where the road is not paved well that we much travel through. It's not easy, but you are an inspiration.
M
I'm right there with you, sister. My mood has been dark of late and it's exhausting beating back the depressive thoughts all the time. And it's definitely affected my writing, or lack thereof. But don't feel like every post has to be an inspirational paean or a depressive dirge...sometimes it's the little victories that mean the most. So getting something written and posted when you're down may not feel like much, but it's a step in the right direction, and that's saying more than you might realize!
ReplyDelete