Sunday, December 28, 2014

An Old Drab Blog Entry: "Old Toys"

Some years back, 2008-9, I kept a Drab blog.  It was called STFU, and I didn't post to it very much.  Usually the posts were very political.

But this one wasn't.  I just rediscovered this blog, and am reprinting it here.  Why?  Because I liked it.

STFU, like my Myspace blogs, never received any comments, so I don't know what people thought of this entry... if anyone even read it.

So here it is, unedited... a piece of my mind from March 26, 2009 called "Old Toys."

I've been selling a lot on ebay lately.  I sell old games and old Games Workshop pieces (painted and unpainted) and also stuff for my mother in law.  I usually do pretty well too.

Lately, I've been going through unpacked boxes looking to raise some funds, and I found a box of all that remains of my old toys from growing up.  I didn't have an overabundance of toys.  Enough I guess.  One of the things I had were Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars.  They were cheap and I could buy them easily with my allowance.  

My brother and I didn't play much together but we would race the cars.  We had Hot Wheels track and while he had more cars,  I had good ones.  My favorite (and second fastest) was a blue Hot Wheels 55 Chevy Nomad.  My brother only had one car that could beat it.  But I had one that was even faster. Still the Nomad was cooler.

So somewhere along the line, a lot of my cars vanished.  I have one Matchbox case left, holding 20 cars.  Some of them I sloppily repainted back in the early 80s as I honed my painting skills.  It was this case that I found a couple days ago.

I looked at it and wondered if any of these cars were worth anything.  After all, most were over 30 years old and in good enough condition.  I mean, they raced on a track and all, and had some chipped paint, but were still good.  I looked at them through the eyes of a 42 year old, looking for value.

Then I picked up the Nomad.  There it was, just as I left it oh it had to be nearly 30 years ago.  My favorite.  The one car that gave my brother fits.  And I was a kid again.  

I don't have many happy childhood memories, but this little piece of metal was definitely one of them.  Oh, and of course it's by far the most valuable of the bunch on ebay.

These cars sat in this box for nearly 30 years, waiting for me to come back and play with them, and I never would.  There's few things sadder than an old toy that is no longer played with.  It waits and waits for the love and imagination of a child to give it life once more.  My world had changed to become one of work and after-school sports and trying to get dates.  No time for cars.  Too old.

And now after all these years, I am here just to sell them off.  Dispose of them.  Eliminate them from my life.

And so I will.  I have taken pics of them and put the ones worth anything on ebay.  I need the money.   

Except the Nomad.  I'm keeping her and keeping her safe.  I even raced her across the desktop just now.  She still moves just fine, thanks for asking.  

I need to save what few good memories I can.



  1. Good comment...

    So now I feel more than a little bit guilty about abandoning (selling) many of the toys (model cars, trains, etc.) that I had as a kid. (Holding back a couple of tears...) At least I kept the good pieces (too many if you listen to my wife.) All are safe from disposal, on display behind glass in my home office. And on my train layouts.

    Where I can at least look at them, if not play with them...

    Happy New Year!


  2. During my last therapy session, the point was made that it's important to not just leave our male self behind, but the successfully integrate him in. After all even thought we've been socialized to be male, we have so many things inside us that are not sexualized and are important to us and our future. As for my child hood toys, I lost many of them in a house fire, and some (like my original Star Wars Tie-Fighter and Battlestar Galatica Cylon Raider) I played with until they crumbled into pieces. The few toys I do have from my childhood are a few stuffed toys, such as my red hippopotamus (which was a Christmas gift).

    It was a joy to read about having more of your family come to accept you during Christmas. Linda really seemed to have your back as well. Just like the growing acceptance of the rest of the GLBTQ community, we win them over one person at a time as they see us a real people with feelings, and not some caricature on a daytime talk show.

    Keep your chin up. Oh and Happy New Year,