The sultry days of July are a far cry from the crisp nights of late October, yet there I was, driving to work in a costume. In my Mary Marvel costume at that. Why?
The bookstore has a chain wide promotion starting, and Saturday July 19th, 2014 was part of the kickoff. Technically, Friday was the first day. Our dress code was changed for the weekend so we could wear "pop culture t-shirts, jean, etc" if we wished. I wore my "Batman Year One" t-shirt, a black skirt (suggesting a cape) and a black belt. It was a fun and functional outfit.
Pop Culture: That's the theme of this three week long promotion.
So Saturday was the "big day" of the "Preview weekend" as it was called. There was a costume contest, both for customers and employees. As the contests were nationwide, my chances of winning weren't awesome, but what the hell? I polled my facialbook friends on what, if any, costume I should wear. Most people made selections, but one person dissented. Donna Rose suggested that I may wish to decline- not wear a costume. Her point was that I probably want to "fly under the radar" and not draw attention to myself.
But instead of heeding this advice, I decided to wear my super heroine costume.
And guess what? Donna was right.
Allow me to share the "greatest hits." These weren't the only comments; no, not by far; but the best of three days. Because one day of abuse wasn't enough. No, I had promised to wear the costume on Wednesday, which was chain wide "Batman day."
Saturday:
"You look like a complete idiot."
Wednesday:
"(to son) Thank the man...woman... (to me) what are you anyway?"
Another customer Wednesday complained to a fellow that my outfit was "inappropriate" and "beneath a bookstore." But she was nice as can be to my face when I helped her find a book.
So today, Thursday, I was greeting people. And elderly "man" came in and said "Did you see that monster woman they had here yesterday? Man was she ugly and she had on this crazy red outfit..."
I said "That was me."
"Oh" he said, "I didn't recognize you" and then walked away giggling to himself.
So Donna, you were right. I was spotted as trans left, right, and center while in costume. I don't get read half as much in regular clothes. Yes, I still get "sir" about once a day, (including twice today) but most of the customers address me by my proper gender.
Yes folks, welcome to my life. My C cup breasts, long hair, makeup, and feminine attire obviously are not good enough for me to completely pass.
So. Has it been all bad? No. I had MANY compliments on the outfit, and management was glad I wore it, as I was the only one in costume. And... yes...
I had fun.
So, does it balance out? Not really. I am human and have feelings and those people's comments hurt- especially today's. No one likes being called a Monster.
Do I regret my decision to go full time? Never. I am alive, and I am living as the person I was meant to be. Linda and I are living on the edge of ruin (hopefully that will be sorted out soon) but I am at Peace.
You can't buy Peace. For any price.
So, lesson learned. No more costumes at work. Under the radar. Subtle.
Me? Subtle? Yeah right. But I'll do my best not to be a Monster.
Up, Up and aw... wait a second
The bookstore has a chain wide promotion starting, and Saturday July 19th, 2014 was part of the kickoff. Technically, Friday was the first day. Our dress code was changed for the weekend so we could wear "pop culture t-shirts, jean, etc" if we wished. I wore my "Batman Year One" t-shirt, a black skirt (suggesting a cape) and a black belt. It was a fun and functional outfit.
Pop Culture: That's the theme of this three week long promotion.
So Saturday was the "big day" of the "Preview weekend" as it was called. There was a costume contest, both for customers and employees. As the contests were nationwide, my chances of winning weren't awesome, but what the hell? I polled my facialbook friends on what, if any, costume I should wear. Most people made selections, but one person dissented. Donna Rose suggested that I may wish to decline- not wear a costume. Her point was that I probably want to "fly under the radar" and not draw attention to myself.
But instead of heeding this advice, I decided to wear my super heroine costume.
Posing in the Breakroom Saturday
And guess what? Donna was right.
Allow me to share the "greatest hits." These weren't the only comments; no, not by far; but the best of three days. Because one day of abuse wasn't enough. No, I had promised to wear the costume on Wednesday, which was chain wide "Batman day."
Saturday:
"You look like a complete idiot."
Wednesday:
"(to son) Thank the man...woman... (to me) what are you anyway?"
Another customer Wednesday complained to a fellow that my outfit was "inappropriate" and "beneath a bookstore." But she was nice as can be to my face when I helped her find a book.
With a coworker Wednesday
So today, Thursday, I was greeting people. And elderly "man" came in and said "Did you see that monster woman they had here yesterday? Man was she ugly and she had on this crazy red outfit..."
I said "That was me."
"Oh" he said, "I didn't recognize you" and then walked away giggling to himself.
Thursday
So Donna, you were right. I was spotted as trans left, right, and center while in costume. I don't get read half as much in regular clothes. Yes, I still get "sir" about once a day, (including twice today) but most of the customers address me by my proper gender.
Yes folks, welcome to my life. My C cup breasts, long hair, makeup, and feminine attire obviously are not good enough for me to completely pass.
So. Has it been all bad? No. I had MANY compliments on the outfit, and management was glad I wore it, as I was the only one in costume. And... yes...
I had fun.
So, does it balance out? Not really. I am human and have feelings and those people's comments hurt- especially today's. No one likes being called a Monster.
Do I regret my decision to go full time? Never. I am alive, and I am living as the person I was meant to be. Linda and I are living on the edge of ruin (hopefully that will be sorted out soon) but I am at Peace.
You can't buy Peace. For any price.
So, lesson learned. No more costumes at work. Under the radar. Subtle.
Me? Subtle? Yeah right. But I'll do my best not to be a Monster.
People can be so rude. I question their intelligence and certainly their upbringing. You are strong, but you are so beautifully human. I'm sorry for your hurt, on any level. The fact that they are trying to bring you down, means they are already at a lower level. Stay beautiful, my dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI can see where Donna was coming from - a full costume definitely does draw more attention than a simple t-shirt, especially when you're the only one in costume. I don't necessarily think it makes you any less feminine or somehow easier to 'read' but I does make people look closer than they otherwise would.
ReplyDeleteIt's really unfortunate, but kudos to you for having the courage to go to work and have fun with it. Some people are jerks just looking for an excuse, so try to focus on the compliments and the fun you had. For what it's worth, I think you looked great (judging by the photos).
I hate that you got misgendered and had to deal with rude customers but I know it was fun wearing the costumes. Anything you do to make you stand out will it more likely that people will read you or make them think they have a license to call you out when you do. This should all get better over time and you are much better having to deal with an occasional asshole than having to put on a mask everyday and go to work as someone you are not.
ReplyDeleteI must say that management didn't compel me to wear the costume- I did it on my own. And two of the managers came to me upon hearing what happened and were concerned and very sympathetic.
ReplyDeleteThat's one of the reasons I transitioned where I am- management has my back on this.
Heck, my reaction to the photo was just "Yay Mary Marvel!" She's not someone I see much in pop culture anymore. And by pure chance, I read this entry on the same day I found my copy of "World's Funnest," which has cameos not only from Mary, but also Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr., the Lieutenant Marvels and Hoppy the Marvel Bunny ("Hoppy the what what?!?" still cracks me up).
ReplyDelete