Yesterday started gray and dark. Right around the dawn, the snow began falling, covering many icy spots on the roads. By the time I left for an early appointment at 7:30, the traffic people were saying that there were already over fifty accidents!
But the snow couldn't muffle my mood.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013 marked one full year since I took the fateful blue pill and white pill and began HRT.
Hormone Replacement Therapy. The process in which male hormones are neutralized and replaced artificially by female hormones. Said female hormones begin the process of, well, feminization. In other words, the process by which a male body becomes a female... to a point.
A year ago, my body was completely male. Now, it's on it's way to being as feminine as it can be without surgery.
I've seen some dramatic changes.
1) Breasts. Yes, I now have them. And I love them. Seriously, they're a dream come true! Sensitivity wise, compared to the male chest, it's like a Whisper to a Scream. For many, breasts are the symbol of femininity. Having them is a Joy.
2) Softer skin. It took time, but the softer skin and reduced hair on my arms, etc, is welcome. Very welcome.
3) I'm told that my face has softened. And I think it has.
4) Most important, is the sense of Peace I now feel. The anger has faded. I am moving forward in my life. I feel Alive for the first time in my life. And I can't tell you how that feels.
Despite all the losses I've had this year, I am Alive. I Live.
Lisa didn't live to see Womanhood. I will.
I will do it for her. I will do it for all those who couldn't. I will do it for Myself.
But most of all, I will do it for my Daughter. She deserves a Parent who can fully engage, which I could never do as a male. As a Woman, I can be the Parent she deserves.
And I'm so very glad that all of you are joining me on my Journey.
Thank you!
But the snow couldn't muffle my mood.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013 marked one full year since I took the fateful blue pill and white pill and began HRT.
Hormone Replacement Therapy. The process in which male hormones are neutralized and replaced artificially by female hormones. Said female hormones begin the process of, well, feminization. In other words, the process by which a male body becomes a female... to a point.
A year ago, my body was completely male. Now, it's on it's way to being as feminine as it can be without surgery.
I've seen some dramatic changes.
1) Breasts. Yes, I now have them. And I love them. Seriously, they're a dream come true! Sensitivity wise, compared to the male chest, it's like a Whisper to a Scream. For many, breasts are the symbol of femininity. Having them is a Joy.
2) Softer skin. It took time, but the softer skin and reduced hair on my arms, etc, is welcome. Very welcome.
3) I'm told that my face has softened. And I think it has.
4) Most important, is the sense of Peace I now feel. The anger has faded. I am moving forward in my life. I feel Alive for the first time in my life. And I can't tell you how that feels.
Despite all the losses I've had this year, I am Alive. I Live.
Lisa didn't live to see Womanhood. I will.
I will do it for her. I will do it for all those who couldn't. I will do it for Myself.
But most of all, I will do it for my Daughter. She deserves a Parent who can fully engage, which I could never do as a male. As a Woman, I can be the Parent she deserves.
December 2013
And I'm so very glad that all of you are joining me on my Journey.
Thank you!
Sophie -
ReplyDeleteThe two of you will fully engage with each other. MIL may get in your way, but I think your wife will make sure your daughter knows her other mother. (How do you want to call your daughter's relationship with you as a parent? You've never said that in your posts....)
M
I totally love watching your transition! You are a great friend, and an all around awesome woman, and I'm glad you are finally loving life! No more sad face, but a happy face! Sure there is loss, but there is much gain! Love and happiness to you, girl!
ReplyDeleteIt is nice, actually rather heartwarming, to see that you are making progress towards finding serenity and peace.
ReplyDeleteGood luck going forward.
Pat