Saturday, April 7, 2012

Easter, Pesach and Hope

I just read Donna Rose's blog and she discusses Easter.

Easter is the spring Holy day which celebrates the resurrection of Christ.  It is the holiest day of the Christian calendar.  After all everyone is born (Christmas) but how many are resurrected?

Easter usually arrives around the same time as Pesach, or Passover. This celebrates the Jewish people being released from their bondage in Egypt.  The celebrations include the Seder.  Their freedom gave them Hope as a people.

That said, I'm going to focus on Easter.  I don't want to discuss the Biblical meaning, etc.  I'll leave that to the theologians. 

To me, Easter is about Rebirth and Hope.

Taken by Lady Ellen, Good Friday 2010

As Christ was "reborn," so is the world in the spring (It's spring here in the US.)  The world awakens and the plants and trees live again.  Rebirth.  Renewal. 

Fundamentalist Christians say they are "born again."  But isn't it true that I, as a trans-person, was born again when I accepted that I am a woman inside?  That which was, a person in denial and deep pain, fell away.  He was replaced by someone searching and growing.  Still in pain, yes but knowing the source. 

I was able to find help and guidance, both from a therapist and from the community.  I have a "big sister" who helps guide me past pitfalls (or she tries, anyway.  I'm stubborn.).  My therapist doesn't sugar coat things either.  She says there are many things I must do to determine where the path will lead, and she's right.

Many times and in many ways it's been said- this is a very hard path I'm walking.  No one in their right mind would walk it.  It's not like I have a choice, really. 

Taken by Lady Ellen, Good Friday 2010

At the Keystone Conference a week ago, Amanda Simpson discussed, in her keynote address, about being true to yourself.  I am not very good at that.  Most people see me as a guy.  They don't know about Sophie.  I live the lie.  I lie to my wife and family.  To my parents.  I am not true.

One of the people I respect the most in this world has said to me several times that she doesn't respect me because I lie to my wife.  I think about that every day, and it hurts.  I am not true.

I look in the mirror and most of the time I see a middle aged guy.  Not the woman I know that I am.  I am not true.

Taken by Lady Ellen, Good Friday 2010

Yet it is Spring, and it is Easter.

Is there hope?

I can look in the mirror and see past the male shell and see Sophie.  That brings me Hope.  I read about Donna's successes and find Hope. Several of my friends came out to their families this past week and were accepted warmly.  That makes me very happy and brings me Hope- Hope that I may find the same acceptance when my time comes. 

As Christ was resurrected, so can we all be.  I can be True to myself.  This is my Hope.  Sometimes it's all I have. 

I will sometime in the near future tell my wife.  I need this truth.  I need to know what course my life will take.  This is a rite of passage for transpeople- a necessary part of being True to ourselves. 

Perhaps with this truth will come respect- from my friends... and from myself.

May this Holiday bring you Hope and the promise of better times for us all.


  1. That was an awesome read, thanks for sharing a wonderful story!! ;-)

  2. I think you will find that Easter is pagan in origin just as Christmas is. As Christians we celebrate the fact that Christ rose from the dead to fulfill His role as the sacrificial lamb for those who believe and repent. It is right to celebrate Christs resurrection but the rest of Easter has nothing to do with rebirth or salvation, it's all a man-made tradition like all the others, Halloween, Christmas, New Year's... have a look at this article (one of many by other Christian churches)
    In Jesus' love

    Shirley Anne xxx

  3. great blog entry!
    oh how i can relate.
    since my face rarely allows me to hide anything i am thinking i have often worried that people might have thought that i was withholding a lie from them and hence why i have come out to just about everyone i know over the course of the last couple of years.
    i have found that most don't really care and it has made it soooo much easier for me since no one asks anymore about my pale pink nail polish and i can now freely discuss clothing and jewelry with the gg's that i know ( including my 80 something aunt!)
    of course the fact that i am single with out children has helped. when i got my ears pierced it really seemed to help in my opening up in telling others due to the fact that it takes about 6 weeks for them to heal with the earrings in. also i keep a photo of myself as diana to
    help show a respectable blend in look as i have come out.

    i love both the "goddess" look in white and the black sparkly top with the dark hair photos
    but then again i tend to be partial to sparkly stuff.

    i love how you explained that coming out and accepting our being transgendered is like a rebirth in itself.
    great blog entry!