Wednesday, December 14, 2011

And Now for Something Completely Different

This is copied from my friend Christen Bustani’s blog with her kind permission. You can read the whole post at

Her blog is well worth a read!

“What can it possibly feel like to be transgender?

It's difficult to imagine what it must feel like to be transgender if you are not. And if you are not transgender then your mind and your body match. One way to try to understand what it's like to be transgendered would be as this example...

Let us for instance imagine that you are a genetically born woman who is attractive and feminine. Now imagine that you wake up one day and find that you are suddenly a man. You can no longer wear your earrings or jewelry, your hair will be cut and you can wear no makeup or any of the colorful and expressive feminine clothes you wore. You find that you now have muscles and are covered with hair on your body. You will be treated as a man by your fellow women and must now try to act as a man in order to integrate with them.

You are now required to do this for the rest of your life.

Every time you get dressed, every time you gaze into the mirror, every time you come in contact with another person; who you know yourself to be and who you appear to be are in complete contrast. Stress will build as you are forced to be who you are not. Welcome to being transgender.”

Christen hit the nail on the head. Dead on. She develops the reasons for transgenderism in her blog- the science and all that. You can read that there.

I want to talk about the flip side of this- and a topic I don’t discuss much.


Tis the season and all that, I guess.

Going back to Christen’s example- imagine you are that man, and you then dress like the woman you SHOULD be. That first look in the mirror when you’re ready: Joy.

Doesn’t matter how you look. You see in the mirror who you should be.

I see Sophie.

I see long hair. Earrings, makeup, usually a dress or skirt, hose and heels. I see a smile on painted lips. And the one word that can describe it can only be Joy.

Life for many of us is very rough. We have bills, jobs we don’t like (or no jobs at all), circumstances that make us depressed. Some of us ARE depressed- or worse. My outlet, my saving grace, is seeing a woman in the mirror, and knowing She is Me.

Someday I may continue down this path and be that woman inside and out. And that Joy will be much more often (along with all the stress, anger and heartache that is transition- I’m not blind, but I’m really trying to be positive in this post!)

The very idea that I could be, maybe, someday- that person who I’ve wanted to be most of my life: the Woman in the mirror those wonderful rare times I can dress- sometimes that’s all I have to keep me going.

And knowing people who have DONE it, have walked the path and come out the other side… that’s priceless.

So, picture that Joy- that total happiness I feel when I see myself in that mirror. Imagine that bliss and the smile that comes with it…

And that it what I wish for you this season.

Be well.  And enjoy your holidays!


  1. What a beautiful blog and thank you so much for considering my post and furthering it in story and in picture! You are right... I know I have my struggles with it all... life... health and sickness; work... a job I absolutely hate but which pays the bills and a need to balance....

    Yet... we have our soul and our heart which we share with the world and we bring to life, even be it briefly, in manifesting forth that person which we are in whole inside. I avoid the mirrors on days she must hide or be locked away... and relish those that she can come forth to interact and exist in the world as I should be... and the universe is suddenly right....

  2. Ayup, I'd say that covers it nicely! :-)

  3. hay Sophie

    this was a great post .
    now imagine you feel you are twin souled with both a fem soul and a male soulboth fighting for first place. as if i am not confused enough having light hair LOL

    it is good to see you are writing more in the blog.
    i must admit i am sumwhat partial to the photo with the light hair and the V neck dress. but i do like the xmas look as well. *sigh * so many outfits so little time to wear them all.