12 Days

Just for a little fun, I bring you:

Sophie Lynne’s

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Big Sis gave to me...

Twelve Smiling Admirers

Eleven ENDA Wins

Ten Painted Nails

Nine T-girls Dancing

(picture courtesy Angela's Laptop Lounge)

Eight Perfect Gowns

Seven Gurls Lip-synching

Six Conference Nametags

FIVE INCH BLACK PUMPS

Four Drinks of Wine

(picture courtesy Angela's Laptop Lounge)

 

Three Laptop Lounges

Two D-cup forms

And No Runs in my panty-hose

And Now for Something Completely Different

This is copied from my friend Christen Bustani’s blog with her kind permission. You can read the whole post at http://christenbustani.blogspot.com/p/what-is-it-like-to-be-transgendered.html


Her blog is well worth a read!


“What can it possibly feel like to be transgender?


It's difficult to imagine what it must feel like to be transgender if you are not. And if you are not transgender then your mind and your body match. One way to try to understand what it's like to be transgendered would be as this example...


Let us for instance imagine that you are a genetically born woman who is attractive and feminine. Now imagine that you wake up one day and find that you are suddenly a man. You can no longer wear your earrings or jewelry, your hair will be cut and you can wear no makeup or any of the colorful and expressive feminine clothes you wore. You find that you now have muscles and are covered with hair on your body. You will be treated as a man by your fellow women and must now try to act as a man in order to integrate with them.



You are now required to do this for the rest of your life.

Every time you get dressed, every time you gaze into the mirror, every time you come in contact with another person; who you know yourself to be and who you appear to be are in complete contrast. Stress will build as you are forced to be who you are not. Welcome to being transgender.”



Christen hit the nail on the head. Dead on. She develops the reasons for transgenderism in her blog- the science and all that. You can read that there.

I want to talk about the flip side of this- and a topic I don’t discuss much.

Joy.

Tis the season and all that, I guess.

Going back to Christen’s example- imagine you are that man, and you then dress like the woman you SHOULD be. That first look in the mirror when you’re ready: Joy.

Doesn’t matter how you look. You see in the mirror who you should be.

I see Sophie.

I see long hair. Earrings, makeup, usually a dress or skirt, hose and heels. I see a smile on painted lips. And the one word that can describe it can only be Joy.

Life for many of us is very rough. We have bills, jobs we don’t like (or no jobs at all), circumstances that make us depressed. Some of us ARE depressed- or worse. My outlet, my saving grace, is seeing a woman in the mirror, and knowing She is Me.

Someday I may continue down this path and be that woman inside and out. And that Joy will be much more often (along with all the stress, anger and heartache that is transition- I’m not blind, but I’m really trying to be positive in this post!)

The very idea that I could be, maybe, someday- that person who I’ve wanted to be most of my life: the Woman in the mirror those wonderful rare times I can dress- sometimes that’s all I have to keep me going.

And knowing people who have DONE it, have walked the path and come out the other side… that’s priceless.

So, picture that Joy- that total happiness I feel when I see myself in that mirror. Imagine that bliss and the smile that comes with it…



And that it what I wish for you this season.

Be well.  And enjoy your holidays!

Thanksgiving?

A couple weeks ago here in the US was Thanksgiving Day. It’s the day set aside by President Lincoln for us to count our blessings and gather as families. These days it’s still about family (usually) but it’s also the day when people eat way too much (if they can) and prepare for Christmas bargain hunting. Some go to parades featuring big balloons.

Not those big balloons!  (Pic from Beauty at the Beach)

Many still count their blessings.

In an effort to avoid my wife’s family, who were visiting, I was going to type a quick blog listing what I am thankful for, etc. But who would want to read it? I mean really?

So for what do I have to be thankful? Let’s face it- my life isn’t ideal. But I have my health and all, and at least I’m employed.

But then there’s that whole “woman” thing. Am I thankful for that?

Is THIS something to be thankful for?

To be transgendered (I’m using the term broadly here) in the US means the possibility of being murdered, beaten, or sexually assaulted just because you exist. Never mind the whole “you’re a freak” thing we encounter. Prejudice. No one will hire you. Getting laughed at. Tears.

Why be thankful for that?

Some say that being TG is a choice. We do this because we are perverted. Or worse.

Well, if you’re reading this, I’m betting you already know it isn’t a choice. Setting ourselves for all that hatred voluntarily would not be sane.

Yet we do it. I do it.

Pics are from November 2011 Laptop Lounge

Being Sophie feels so natural. In the short times I can dress, I feel so much better about being me. I feel like all is right with the world- That I am who I am supposed to be.

So let’s look at what being Sophie has brought me for which I am thankful.

Since coming out, I have met a whole world of new people. Prior to then, I hadn’t met a single TG. Now I know many from all over the country, and thanks to MySpace and Facebook, all over the world. I’ve made some very good friends- friends I wouldn’t have met if not for this.

With Friends.  Pic courtesy Angela's Laptop Lounge

I’ve been able to test myself, especially my courage. As most of you know, it takes a LOT of courage to take that first step out the door, especially when just starting. Now I’ve learned to walk with my head held high as I stride forward. I’m also learning new skills, like makeup and dressing appropriately for an occasion. Ok, so “appropriate’ is still not exactly something I do.

I also test my resolve. How determined am I to BE Sophie? I had a vision as to what I wanted to look like, and went out to find the pieces to get me there. The weight thing is taking time. So, now I LOOK like Sophie. Do I have the resolve to BE Sophie- really be a woman? Time will tell. If asked 5 years ago “do you want to be a woman?” I would’ve laughed at you, and secretly answered “yes” to myself. Now? I think it’s a matter of time and circumstance. The family part is messy- as is the whole living arraignments thing, but that’s another story.

But the answer is still “yes.”

So, I AM thankful for my feminine side. Very thankful, because I am learning about who and what I truly am. I am growing in ways I never dreamed possible and I hope I can continue to do so.

Last but not least, I am thankful for the people who read this Blog. Currently there are 21 subscribers, and I am so happy to have all of you! Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts!

Thank you so much for reading!