As I write/type this, the date is October 28, 2024. I awoke early today, as I had an 8 AM doctor appointment (transition med check among other things.) I was rewarded with a beautiful sunrise featuring peach and blue-gray clouds.
During my appointment, I found that my gall bladder issues were a side effect of estrogen that's uncommon, but happen. Huh. Learn something new every day.
In any case, it's Halloween season. Samhain for some. Long time readers know that this marks an anniversary- on Halloween 2008, I "rediscovered" myself. That night I went out dressed as Lois Lane to my Wife's Clark Kent. (Full story... hmmm did I ever write the whole story? I'll check TG Forum...) The dam that held back 25 years of denial broke.
That was *counts on fingers and toes* 14 years ago. I didn't expect to live this long, never mind being Sophie full time among other things. But, yes, it'll be 14 years, 10 of which I've been full time. I feel so old. But in any case, being my age and having been out for so long, kinda makes me a "trans elder." I have stories to tell, many of which I've told here or on TG Forum (my last post there was August and concerns stories. Read it HERE.)
I used to be a Halloween fanatic. Don't get me wrong- I still love the season. Heck, I'm wearing a jack o lantern face T-shirt as I type this!) It's just... not as special. It's been years since I've been to a Halloween party, and I haven't been out on Halloween night since 2019 (I wore my Supergirl suit.) We don't get trick or treaters where I live. I used to LOVE planning Halloween parties, which we held at M's house (see M here). She didn't mind as I and a few others did all the setup, execution, and clean up. I miss those parties, and the people who attended them.
Hmmm... it seems I never wrote the full story on that first night in 2008. I thought I did. Maybe I just can't find it.
Right.
The story begins two years before: 2006. Wife and I loved doing couple costumes. That year, we did Lois Lane and Clark Kent. Halloween 2007 we didn't as my daughter was born Oct 26. No Halloween for Wife. Anyway, a week before Halloween 2008, Wife and I went out to dinner to celebrate her birthday. As we waited for our food, she brought up the topic of Halloween. That year, Wife suggested another couple costume: Lois and Clark again. I said "we've already done that." She replied "No- this time YOU'RE Lois." At that moment, the food arrived. I seem to remember saying yes to the idea, but Wife isn't sure.
So that set off a week of panicked planning. I enlisted the help of my coworker Elizabeth to help with an outfit and bra. I got a wig from a Halloween store. My friend Dawn, who is a beautician, volunteered to do my makeup.
It took all week, but I managed to find everything (including getting shoes that fit sent 2 day air). The night of October 30, after everyone was in bed, I pulled out the items and tried them on. Everything fit. I crafted my boobs from birdseed in pantyhose feet (a trick I learned from reading the fantastic I am not myself these days by Josh Kilmer Purcell.) Everything fit.
The next night as Wife fed Daughter (the natural way) I changed into my outfit and wig. With me I had the Superman T shirt that I used for Clark Kent (which I still have.) I finished dressing, put on the wig, grabbed he t-shirt and my phone, and exited the bathroom. Wife was in the kitchen. I called out to her and said "ready!!" She turned and looked at me with a look of disgust. I took a picture of that expression. I then tossed her the t-shirt and said "I'll take care of changing [daughter], you get ready." Then she remembered what we'd discussed for our costumes.
The first party was one at Dawn's. We brought Daughter, who was barely over a year old. Dawn did my makeup, everyone had a good laugh (as well as fussing over the baby.) Wife wanted to go home, so she drove herself to the party.
I drove to the bookstore, where I wandered around a bit. Elizabeth was upstairs working in music, so I went to see her. No one recognized me except her. They knew I was a crossdresser, but no idea who it was. After taking pics with Elizabeth, I went downstairs and revealed my identity to the rest of the staff. Gasps of disbelief and laughs.
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After this, I went to the bar where we'd all meet. Some people I didn't know, then my coworkers arrived. We hung out and drank (I used the men's room.) One guy was uncomfortable with me, so I made sure to pester him because I was an asshole.
On the way home, (I shouldn't have been driving... I'd pay the price eventually) I looked down at myself... down at the fake breasts pushing out my sweater... and thought about how right I felt. I thought about how, for the first time in decades, I didn't feel anger or Pain. I was at Peace.
I knew that I was in trouble.
I got back home, where everyone was asleep (It was after 2 AM.) I quietly took more pictures, then removed my girl things, probably forever. I washed my face, and... damn nails wouldn't come off. It would take a lot of time the next day to dissolve them off.
The rest I KNOW I wrote about more than once. Find that HERE.
In any case, all these years later, here I sit typing in State College. My roomie/bestie Linda is in the other room recovering from an illness. Soon, I'll start making dinner. Thursday is Halloween. Maybe I'll go out. Maybe not. I doubt it. No fun going alone.
In any case, Happy Halloween or Blessed Samhain.
Be well.
