We change as we grow older. When I was a child, I was very mousy and quiet. I was afraid that if I said or did the wrong thing, I would be beaten or insulted. I stayed within myself- isolated and pretty much friendless.
Doing things to get noticed? No way in hell. I just went where I was told, when I was told, and waited for the next humiliation. (Kind of like now, really.)
When I was in eighth grade, my friend R moved to the area. He was in several of my classes, including math. In eighth grade in Spring Ford at the time, the advanced math was Algebra. I was not in it, and nor was R. We were both doing great in math, but most of the "smart kids" were in algebra. And as that was the group I sort of hung around with, if any, they let me hear it. Just like they did to R.
So, in December, R came up with an idea, which he shared with me.
His father was willing to speak to the school administration to get R into the algebra class. And offered me the same. I was shocked, and didn't know what to do. Actually CHANGE a class? Make waves? At school? Well, I did it. And R's dad got the school to put us in the algebra class starting in the 3rd marking period. I had no idea if I could do it. I had no confidence in myself.
R excelled as always. Me? I floundered; my grades for math that year were A, B, C, D. But from there I was on the advanced math track. The next year, I did well, and in the years following I continued.
In spring 1985, I visited my friend Dr. Dave at Penn State. I fell in love with the school. I hated Drexel, and wanted out. My grades began to suffer. I needed something to happen. But what? How? I'd made my decision- I chose Drexel. I was determined to succeed and show everyone, especially my dad, that I could succeed- that I WAS smart enough.
I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.
But to me, the city was Hell. And Penn State was heaven. My dad wanted an engineer. I hated the idea at that point. But could I...
I transferred to Penn State. Changed my major to Education. One of the best decisions of my life. I didn't know if I would succeed there, or crash and burn. And the first few weeks were touch and go until I got my feet under me.
In 1994, I accepted a job in Baltimore. Accepted it on a Friday and started Monday. I stayed in a motel for weeks, without Wife.
These were all Leaps of Faith. I had choices to make, and I chose the hard path- the path of uncertainty.
Notice that I didn't include Transition in the list. I didn't have a choice there. It was transition or blow my head off.
Some people are planners. Others not so much. I planned my transition meticulously. I had plans, backup plans, and backups for those. I tried to foresee all possibilities. Other things, I just leap "where angels fear to tread."
My life is at a crossroads. Decisions need to be made. It's time, I fear, for another leap of faith. I cannot continue on this Path.
God help me. Things are in motion.
Be well.
Doing things to get noticed? No way in hell. I just went where I was told, when I was told, and waited for the next humiliation. (Kind of like now, really.)
When I was in eighth grade, my friend R moved to the area. He was in several of my classes, including math. In eighth grade in Spring Ford at the time, the advanced math was Algebra. I was not in it, and nor was R. We were both doing great in math, but most of the "smart kids" were in algebra. And as that was the group I sort of hung around with, if any, they let me hear it. Just like they did to R.
So, in December, R came up with an idea, which he shared with me.
His father was willing to speak to the school administration to get R into the algebra class. And offered me the same. I was shocked, and didn't know what to do. Actually CHANGE a class? Make waves? At school? Well, I did it. And R's dad got the school to put us in the algebra class starting in the 3rd marking period. I had no idea if I could do it. I had no confidence in myself.
9th grade. I have no 8th grade pictures
In spring 1985, I visited my friend Dr. Dave at Penn State. I fell in love with the school. I hated Drexel, and wanted out. My grades began to suffer. I needed something to happen. But what? How? I'd made my decision- I chose Drexel. I was determined to succeed and show everyone, especially my dad, that I could succeed- that I WAS smart enough.
I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.
But to me, the city was Hell. And Penn State was heaven. My dad wanted an engineer. I hated the idea at that point. But could I...
I transferred to Penn State. Changed my major to Education. One of the best decisions of my life. I didn't know if I would succeed there, or crash and burn. And the first few weeks were touch and go until I got my feet under me.
In 1994, I accepted a job in Baltimore. Accepted it on a Friday and started Monday. I stayed in a motel for weeks, without Wife.
These were all Leaps of Faith. I had choices to make, and I chose the hard path- the path of uncertainty.
"Only in the leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth."
Notice that I didn't include Transition in the list. I didn't have a choice there. It was transition or blow my head off.
Some people are planners. Others not so much. I planned my transition meticulously. I had plans, backup plans, and backups for those. I tried to foresee all possibilities. Other things, I just leap "where angels fear to tread."
My life is at a crossroads. Decisions need to be made. It's time, I fear, for another leap of faith. I cannot continue on this Path.
God help me. Things are in motion.
Be well.
Gratuitous Sophie pic
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